Oh Mr. Eastwood I just love you. You are so wonderful in your movies. America just loves you.
*starts to cry.
Larry the cable guy ain't that just like a woman to start blubberin' over nothin. Next thing you know she'll be a blamin' it on that PMS or ESP what ever that dang gum lady thing is.
Geraldo *whisper's to Larry, shut up and go smoke some weed with Carlin in the jungle. This is my chance.
PAULA darling. You are right. CLint is a beautiful man.
Clint: Why, thank you Paula. Thank you very much. What a nice thing to say.
And I'm glad you all liked the pig meat. While hunting that boar, I had an experience, it seemed surreal, I'm not sure if I should even go into what I saw.
Ana: I had an experience once, but the judge said to okay it waZzzzz allll good. then i waz a reggistyered sex offender while i was on porbattion, but it only lasted for 6 months.
Paris: I made a tape and it got out.
Clint: Not that kind of experience. No, nothing like that at all. I went into the woods, to hunt for some boar, and Boone was with me.
Boone is my trusty sidekick. He sat by me on the plane, and he likes to help out and stuff.
Keanu: Woah. My name is not Boone. It's Keanu, but I told Mr. Eastwood he could call me Boone, if he wanted. ***looks at ground, shuffles feet***
Clint: Me and Boone found ourselves in a thicket, and we heard loud noises, like maybe a dinosaur or a tornado, then I saw this cloud of moving smoke, black as coal, it moved toward me. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Until it showed my past and in it was Sandra Locke. Could have done without that part of it. But the rest of it was beyond words. It then moved to Boone, and showed him his past.
Keanu: Woah. I saw some pot, Bodhi from Point Break, Gary Busey, Hugo Weaving, some bullet time being filmed, a green screen, and parts of Bill and Teds Bogus journey.
Somehow, it let me live. I can't believe it.
Clint: Joan Rivers was not so lucky. She wandered into the glade at that time, and the black smoke monster flew to her, read her past, ripped her to bloody shreds and left her hanging in a tree.
Keanu: Woah, like we were going to bury her, but we had the hog hunting to do, and the tree was like, really tall, so we just left her hanging there.
Clint: Don't worry son, she was mostly plastic and resin anyway, the birds won't touch her. We can go back and burn the tree later, with all the flammables on whats left of her, it should burn rather nicely.
Ana: weeweewweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
aahahahah......trimspa, i have some trimspa, it burns good, we can burn with that, oh taht hog is so ghrossssss, but i'm hungry too, I want to eat some littlle piggy too.
Keanu: Woah. Mr. Eastwood, I fell asleep, took a nap, and had a horrific dream.
Clint: Well, tell us about it Boone.
Paris: I dream about butterflies and purses with sparkles on them, that’s HOT.
Ana: I dream about my body baby! But it was a dream, nots a nightmares. No no.
Keanu: Well, like, I was in the dream world right, and the ghost of Joan Rivers came to me and said some stuff.
Clint: What did she say Boone?
Keanu: This is how it went down.
THE DREAM:
quote:
Ghost of Joan Rivers: There is important work Keanu. Important work. You must head out into the jungle, to find a plane. In the plane will be heroin and dead bodies, but you must ignore this, and look under the plane. What you find will surprise you.
Keanu: Woah, like you look messed up and stuff. But, in a weird way, you look kind of hot too.
Ghost of Joan Rivers: You must talk the survivors into building an army. Do it quickly now Keanu.
BOONE WALKS UP THE HILL
BOONE WALKS DOWN THE HILL
BOONE WALKS UP THE HILL
BOONE WALKS DOWN THE HILL.
Red stood pointing at the sky, her face a wonderful glow, and her arm an extended shaft.
In the distance, black smoke and the sound of monkeys, a shiny glint off of metal, the sun shining on Ana Nichole standing by the Black Rock, scanning the ships deck, her hair reflecting the suns rays like brilliant diamonds,
BOONE WALKS UP THE HILL
BOONE WALKS DOWN THE HILL
BOONE WALKS UP THE HILL
BOONE WALKS DOWN THE HILL.
Then Paula kissing Pitt, Tom Cruise sitting on a rock, alone and searching,
Paris floating into cloud.
End of DREAM.
Ana: Did you say a plane filled with heroin? I love hair oooooooooooooooooo inn. Ooohhhh, lets go find it right now!!!
George Carlin*sees larry the cable guy walking up to him.
What do you want hick boy?
Larry the Cable Guy well old man, I come out here to smoke me some of that wacky tobaccy with you. I can't stand sitting on the beach and listening to that Geraldo feller. That Geraldo is hornier than a hound dog in a room full of legs.
*GEORGE PASSES JOINT and they sit smoking for a while
Bob*comes running into the jungle
I can't take it anymore!. I will kill him so help me I will kill him!
Larry the Cable Guy Woah now partner, setting down an have a smoke. Now you you gonna kill?
Bob*
Geraldo. He will not stop hitting on women and making me film it. No way am I shooting a porn video with him and Paris. I'll jump off a cliff first.
*enjoys a smoke
George Carlin*lays back and stares at the clouds.
You know who pisses me off? That pansy ass Tom Cruise, Mr. Scientology. Hey has to believe he is a healer because his @#$% is so small.
Larry the Cable Guy *giggles
he he he, hey George, what say we go grab old Tommy boy, get him high and freak him out?
*sitting on a log looking at his reflection in a mirror.
Yes Tom you are a tough man, a big man, a learned man.
*stands up
WHo's there?
*THUNG
*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
H
*wakes up
where am I? Dude where are the lights? What is that smell? Oh it is smoky in here. I feel, I feel.... *giggles GOOD
George Carlin*whispers to Bob the camera man, keep that light right in his face.
((TOM SEES ONLY A BRIGHT LIGHT))
*uses deep voice.
TOM, I AM THE GHOST OF L. RON HUBBARD!
Larry the Cable Guy*giggling madly
Tom
Dude! What do you want?
George Carlin
I AM HERE TOM, HERE ON THE ISLAND
Larry the Cable Guy Oh crap I just peed m'self
George Carlin
YOU MUST FIND ME TOM. I AM HERE SOMEWHERE IN THE FILTH AND CRAP OF THE ISLAND. YOU MUST FIND ME AND ALL WILL BE KNOWN TO YOU! YOU WILL BECOME AS ME! IF YOU SHOULD FAIL, YOUR WEENIE WILL FALL OFF AND YOU WILL SPEND FOREVER WITH ROSIE O'DONNEL!
TomNO! NOT ROSIE!
I will find you master! I will find you!
[COLOR=red]This is Bill O'Reilley. Welcome to the Factor. Today we begin with our talking points. We are entering the second day since the plane full of celebrities has gone missing somewhere off the coast of Australia. This reporter wants to know why they were all together and not on separate chartered jets like most celebrities love to use. Why did the plane go down? Were the paparazzi involved? Demand action from your representatives. I will keep on this story until the truth is uncovered
Back on the Island things go from bad to worse. These pampered celebrities are not used to fending for themselves.
GERALDO- we need food. I am hungry, and we have to find a way to survive on this island. I've been in combat zones, so I should be in charge.
George Carlin Combat this buddy. You couldn't even find Capone so I doubt you could find food or even fire wood!
Caesar the Dog Whsiperer Tssst! *hit's Geraldo on the leg.
DOWN! Now Mr. Carlin that is how you assert your dominance.
George Carlin Dominance? hey buddy ...
Caesar*TSST!
George CarlinOUCH!
Caesar- Now this is what we are going to do. Mr. Eastwood will lead a hunting party. Geraldo you will go with him. Mr. Smarty Pants Carlin, you will collect they fire wood. Paula will provide the water either from a waterfall or her own tears.
05-10-2006 11:09 PM
Paula *sees Clint.
Larry the cable guy ain't that just like a woman to start blubberin' over nothin. Next thing you know she'll be a blamin' it on that PMS or ESP what ever that dang gum lady thing is.
Geraldo *whisper's to Larry, shut up and go smoke some weed with Carlin in the jungle. This is my chance.
Keanu: Woah. My name is not Boone. It's Keanu, but I told Mr. Eastwood he could call me Boone, if he wanted. ***looks at ground, shuffles feet***
Ghost of Joan Rivers: There is important work Keanu. Important work. You must head out into the jungle, to find a plane. In the plane will be heroin and dead bodies, but you must ignore this, and look under the plane. What you find will surprise you. 
George Carlin*sees larry the cable guy walking up to him.
Bob*comes running into the jungle
Tom
[COLOR=red]This is Bill O'Reilley. Welcome to the Factor. Today we begin with our talking points. We are entering the second day since the plane full of celebrities has gone missing somewhere off the coast of Australia. This reporter wants to know why they were all together and not on separate chartered jets like most celebrities love to use. Why did the plane go down? Were the paparazzi involved? Demand action from your representatives. I will keep on this story until the truth is uncovered 
Caesar the Dog Whsiperer Tssst! *hit's Geraldo on the leg.
