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Bluto

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Where in the heck is HECK!? (Or this is HECK's thread on booze) post #1  quote:



So, I cruise on down to the sweet, almost mockingly pleasant city of San Diego. The only thing hot down here are the chickadees.

I'm here for a wedding, friend of the girlfriend, which means I don't know anyone. Not that not knowing anyone at a party has ever stopped me from being HECK. Did I mention it was open bar for a few hours. Stink. After that, double stink.

Then left, more drank, and it's not even 1am and the lady is passed out and I'm stuck eatin' pizza killing a Miller Lite case softly.

This thread for two reasons: to talk about random places I post from and levels of the beer-oriented fade I currently live in.

Discuss. If you go O.T., I refer you to the Bakersfield Chimp thread.



-HECK!


Old Post 07-31-2005 08:25 AM
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post #2  quote:

I am currently drinking Natty LIte from a Virginia Tech travel mug.

not my proudest moment... but hey, it was free.


Old Post 07-31-2005 08:45 AM
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post #3  quote:

Dekk, I was there with you when I was early-20's. Natty Lite and watching Dazed & Confused every night. It's like, one can appreciate it in many different ways

-HECK!


Old Post 07-31-2005 08:55 AM
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post #4  quote:

so right, like, I was at work earlier, and this kid is like "why don't one of you (the other three, 21-and-over guys) go get some beer. I'll pay for it."

So, being the manager-in-charge, I of course, approve of the idea.

Since I'm the only one with a car, I have to go get it.

So I pick up a case of Natty Lite (with someone else's money, so I can't complain about the brand).

Then at the end of the night he says "take as much as you want home."

and here I am, drinking the last one. I'm gonna finish it off, eat some garlic bread, then pass out watching Chapelle show reruns.

I love my life.


Old Post 07-31-2005 09:00 AM
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post #5  quote:

Man, I've had similar nights, one way or another.

I remember when I was a junior in high school, we would get this sophmore to buy beer for us because he grew a beard at a oddly young age. Natty was the usual, or 40's of Mickey's. Headache brew, but dammit, she's the first lady I ever loved.

-HECK!


Old Post 07-31-2005 09:04 AM
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post #6  quote:

ah yes here's a good story.

when I was in high-school, there was this 30-year-old who used to dated some of my skankier classmates. He bought us beer a lot.

It's odd though, cuz he looked and dressed and acted just like one of us. I didn't think he was that much older when I first met him.

Anyway, his name was John F. Kennedy. I kid you not. We called him JFK.

We quickly got used to it. We just called him JFK.

But like, if I was saying something about him to someone who didn't know him. I'd say "blah blah blah and JFK said.."

and I'd get interrupted "JFK?"

and I'd remember how weird it is to know someone named after a former President. No one ever believed that his name was actually JFK.

hopefully JFK will never find this thread.

was I going somewhere with this story? umm probably not.

I'm done now.


Old Post 07-31-2005 09:19 AM
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post #7  quote:

Ah yes, the older hanger outer guy. There's one per every 4 groups of friends.

I knew this guy named John Kerry. He never used to get crap, until now, I assume.

-HECK!


Old Post 07-31-2005 09:34 AM
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post #8  quote:

It on topic, believe it or not, but I have to destroy flower mountain today.

I need the dirt.

So, the wonderful mountain of flowers, created by a very drunk and very delirious Whidden, and that now brims with flowers,

is about to be destroyed by noble sober Whidden.

It's sad really. The drunk and stupid Whid creates a thing of beauty, the sober and sane Whid destroys it in the name of progress.

But hey, I got some holes in the yard I can't mow and the red clay dirt that is flower mountain, will do nicley to fill the holes.


Still, I mourn.



Attachment:
flower power.jpg (90.0977 kb, 1183 views)

Old Post 07-31-2005 05:33 PM
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post #9  quote:

noooooooooo

I am going to organize a protest. I am going to get a bunch of tree-hugging liberal wackos to stand around Flower Mountain and refuse to move for any shovel or wheelbarrow.



Old Post 07-31-2005 06:00 PM
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post #10  quote:

I am going to make a very big effort to transplant the fowers, but I don't have much hope.


and to cheese off heck! with an off topic departure, I pose a trivia question, Dark Tower related of course:

Which one is Roland's Grandmother?

1. Rhea of the coos

2. Lady Rosline

3. Deidre the Mad

4. Abagail Deshain


Old Post 07-31-2005 06:09 PM
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post #11  quote:

You havn't been around as much Heck!, is it that new job you got?

taking up all your time?


Old Post 08-07-2005 04:16 AM
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post #12  quote:

Been busy. Computer at home took a dumpo, so I have to post from my part time gig. Sucks.

-HECK!


Old Post 08-07-2005 06:02 PM
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brochu13
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post #13  quote:

Exceedingly foul experience on saturday. Had a few beers, but took some shots of the local liquor store's home grown brand of vodka. Just terrible, tasted like rubbing alcohol and it nearly made me sick. I've never been one for vodka en masse, but this was just terrible and totally unappealing. Whew...

Old Post 08-08-2005 07:18 PM
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post #14  quote:

i'm making wine in my closet.... you wanna try some?

Old Post 08-08-2005 09:19 PM
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post #15  quote:

Brochu, had the worst hangover from vodka... ever. I can name the outcome of every excess booze night:

Vodka: no puke, worse hangover, almost lost job

Jaggermesiter: slow, spitty pukes. Up for a while. OK next day.

Jack Daniels: fight(s)

Tequilla: get with hot chicks.

It's a science.

And yes, I am smoking (cig) and drinkin right now.

-HECK!


Old Post 08-09-2005 08:28 AM
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post #16  quote:

So, I am currently out of the condo and am between places. At this time, currently, I am spending the night at the parents house. All my crap is in boxes. I am at the old stomping ground. Yet another random drunk place. New place ready soon, but not soon enough.

That reminds me of: funny former drunk story #142.

Let me take you back... I am 16 or so, parents make the first of what would only be two lifetime weekend trips where I stay home solo (the second time they left I waaaay ruined any trust. Once again, I digress.)

At the time, I worked at this video store. A bunch of dudes worked there, they were all cool. We were f'n booze bags. Across the way, there was this gourmet bread store with all (hot) chicks working there. I know you've done the math, regardless, we're all at my pad that weekend sans parents partying like fools. Without admitting to breaking any laws, a lot went wrong, a lot went right. The worst thing was, that I will confirm, the postman busted a tired by driving over beer bottles in the street. He was foolish, I don't know who left the bottles there. And this other guy stole more alcohol than most supermarkets have. But I have said too much, and yet, not nearly enough.

-HECK!


Old Post 08-09-2005 08:41 AM
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post #17  quote:

I saw a, um, little person the other day. We were cruising down the road, and I saw this chick at a check cashing place getting into a car. Me and the peeps were driving by on the way to see Wedding Crashers on fade (alright saw the movie already, but not on beers(s)(s)(s)(s)(s).

::Before I get going, is 'little person' the right term? I know midget is bad. But midget porn is still acceptable. Anyway, a buddy called her dwarf. I always think of Snow White and Happy, Slappy, the stupid one and whatever when I hear dwarf. But little person sounds mean, too. They're people, just damn short. That should be their name, damn short. Better than dwarf. ::

Anyway, the moral of the story is, always get a cup to pour your tall cans of beer in before the movie starts.

-HECK!


Old Post 08-09-2005 09:27 AM
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post #18  quote:

here's a word of advice that I learned back in the day:

beer and cake do not mix.

no sir.


Old Post 08-09-2005 04:31 PM
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post #19  quote:

quote:
HECK said this in post #15 :
Brochu, had the worst hangover from vodka... ever. I can name the outcome of every excess booze night:

Vodka: no puke, worse hangover, almost lost job

Jaggermesiter: slow, spitty pukes. Up for a while. OK next day.

Jack Daniels: fight(s)

Tequilla: get with hot chicks.

And yes, I am smoking (cig) and drinkin right now.

-HECK!
Tequila is just funa ll around as is JD, but fights so happen quite often, I will attest to that. I very solid critique you have here.

I am happy to know that you are enjoying fine liquor and tobacco now, excellent.


Old Post 08-09-2005 07:57 PM
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post #20  quote:

I quit drinking, cause the last time I drank, I woke up under my truck, passed out in the yard.

(this was not the flower mountain/dark tower roses drunk, but after that)


Anyhow, I was like, I'm 36, I'm too old for this. I should have been doing this when I was 21.

At any rate, i was sick for a week, and didn't want to ever drink again.

However, I have some yard work coming up this weekend, and might hit the hooch,

but I am buying a very small bottle this time, so if I lose control again, I won't try to go and drink a bunch of Jim Beam and have blackouts.


Heck!, you need to get your computer fixed, we need more Heck! influence in the threads.

I might try some of Brochu's tequila and see what happens. Sounds like fun,

whiskey is too strong, Rum is too sweet, and deadly,

and Gin is kinda bitter, but good,

Mahesh likes vodka, I like it ok,

but don't remember ever having tequila.

We will see how it goes.


Old Post 08-12-2005 01:44 AM
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adityamahesh
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post #21  quote:

'Mahesh likes vodka'? Dude, when did I say that? I have drank it a bit, but no way dude, no way. I would rather have a margarita, a martini, or perhaps even bourbon. Vodka is palatable as long as it is in the form of screwdriver.

M.

p.s. Here is something for you crazy drunks.


Old Post 08-12-2005 01:58 AM
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post #22  quote:

quote:
adityamahesh said this in post #21 :

p.s. Here is something for you crazy drunks.


good find

I've done some of those


Old Post 08-12-2005 05:54 AM
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post #23  quote:

I know you have. That is why it is even more hilarious.

M.


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post #24  quote:

Last time I got drunk, I made a huge watermellon that was 75% Southern Comfort-100%. I got all loopy and went into chat. I started on the piate thing, and Mr. F. made me get off line Then I got bedspins and had the mother of all hangovers for the next two days.

I am now 37 and too old for this. I did my party days in my early 20s. I was a kamakazi drinker. I also drank Jack & Coke, 7 &7's, beer. Whatever. Been there done that. Tequilla always gave me a horrible stomach ache. Anything else was cool.


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post #25  quote:

I think I remember that chat. I should have probably saved it in a text file or something. Would have been a good worth as blackmail.

M.


Old Post 08-12-2005 06:19 AM
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post #26  quote:

I had a watermelon full of Vodka at a barbeque a while back. I was dirt drunk. Still, not the biggest vodka fan. The only booze I drink out of the bottle, when I do, is Jack Daniels. Good stuff.

I almost always take strait shots or whiskey on the rocks. Screw the rest. Favorite shots are Tequilla, obviously, and an Irish Car Bomb. Had two last night. Dammit. Flaming Dr. Pepper is dope, too.

One time a buddy of mine was strapped for cash and wanted a drink that would get him jacked up quick. I suggest the good ol' Adios Mother******. That thing is bad news.

Now that Red Bull is big, a lot of people put that rancid crap in all kinds of drinks. Can't stand the stuff.

-HECK!


Old Post 08-12-2005 02:44 PM
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post #27  quote:

Flaming Dr. Peppers are awesome. I love explaining it to people who don't know what it is.

"........it doesn't have Dr. Pepper in it??"






man I just woke up from a dream where I got off work and went to Richmond to visit my friend Josh and somewhere along the line I went to Target where my brother was working as a security guard. He told the supervisor up front that I was going to be his assisstant. Then he tried to jack some cash but the supervisor caught him. He was like "---uhhh---" and we went to the back and I just went off on him and called him a dumbass and stuff.

We tried to figure out how we were gonna steal all the money and we went over to the security room and were looking at the monitors and this guy walks in and says "what are you guys doing?"

my brother takes off his badge and shows it to him and says "I'm security!"

then I added "yeah so step off BIATCH!" and shoved the guy. He pretended none of this happen and started fiddling with some papers on his desk. It was funny.

Then I left, got on this cool-looking elevator with green marble floor and glass doors. It took me forever to figure out where I was going. There were like a million buttons. Then I saw other buttons at the bottom that just took me to my destination but they were hard to read so that took me a while too.

I finally got to the bottom floor and left the mall and used a payphone to call Josh so he could pick me up. He's like "where are you?" and I told him "at the mall."

He said "In Blacksburg?"
"No, in ****ing Richmond dude!"
I mean he lives here I'd think he knows where the mall is. So I had to explain it to him, "it's near an Exxon and a Food Lion... hey I think I know where I am. What ever, get over here and pick me."

So I go through my backpack and take out a 40 and a can of Miller High Life and start drinking while I was waiting for him to pick me up.


Old Post 08-12-2005 05:07 PM
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post #28  quote:

quote:
adityamahesh said this in post #25 :
I think I remember that chat. I should have probably saved it in a text file or something. Would have been a good worth as blackmail.

M.


Me and you were both in there, it was funny stuff.


Old Post 08-12-2005 09:33 PM
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post #29  quote:

quote:
Whidden said this in post #28 :


Me and you were both in there, it was funny stuff.


Did you save it?

M.


Old Post 08-12-2005 09:37 PM
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post #30  quote:

quote:
adityamahesh said this in post #29 :


Did you save it?

M.


Nay.



I did not have the blackmailing forsight that Delta had, when she saved my drunken pm's.


Old Post 08-12-2005 09:42 PM
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