All About Steve
Stan ditches Steve because he's embarassed his son's a wimp, then Stan becomes this big nerd at work because his pimples and gets a taste of his own medicine... but the Steve helps Stan crack a case they're working on and ... well... it was an okay episode. Not brilliant. Some funny moments
"I'm for it so we can put Nuclear power plants up there, and then beam the power back to earth on a laser beam." ~ Whidden
Stan of Arabia Parts 1 and 2
Stan takes the crap out of his boss on his birthday and gets "promoted" to Saudia Arabia. Before too long, Stan finds the joy in living in a foreign country and immersing himself in the local customs... his wife doesn't find the joy in it, however, when Stan brings home another wife, and he forbids her to go outside.
Quotes Stan: Ladies, ladies. You're both Mrs. Smith. Francine: Stan, what on earth? Stan: Surprise! I got us a second wife. You know, to help with cooking and cleaning. Her name's impossible to pronounce, so I just call her "Thundercat."
Hayley: Bye, dad. We're going to see the new Michael Moore documentary. Stan: Michael Moore... ? Oh, you mean Michael Bin Laden.
Stan: Look, Mr. President! Teacher says whenever a bell rings, an oppressive autocracy gets freedom! President Bush: They sure do. Attaboy, Clarence.
Police Radio: All units to the northeast corner of the kasbah! 220 in progress! Saudi Police Officer: 220? Someone just spotted a woman's ankles. Let's move!
Steve: Wow, Angelina Jolie! I have so many questions to ask you. Is that whole thing about you sleeping with knives in the bed true? God: I'm not Angelina Jolie, Steve. I'm God. I simply chose the form most pleasing to you. Steve: Oh, you're God. So, is that thing about Angelina Jolie sleeping with knives in the bed true? God: Yeah. It's messed up, isn't it?
Kazim: You should be more careful around the Police of Vice and Virtue. Do you want to get stoned? Hayley: Yes! Oh, my God, it's been, like, forever. Kazim: You would like to be buried up to your neck and have a crowd of angry men throw rocks at your head? Hayley: Oh. No.
"I'm for it so we can put Nuclear power plants up there, and then beam the power back to earth on a laser beam." ~ Whidden
Stan Get Your Gun
Stan's love for guns drives him and his daughter Hayley further and further apart, until he finally decides to stage a burglary to prove how effective guns can be. When Stan gets paralyzed by a bullet lodged in his spine, however, his views change. Meanwhile, Roger convinces Steve that he's adopted, causing him to make out with his sister.
Quote
Stan: Before we adjourn, let's recite the NGA Oath. Hold hands. Come on, it's not gay, there's guns in the room.
Hayley: I'm such a hypocrite! Francine: Honey, he was robbing us. And he was gonna force himself on me. Hayley: He said that? Francine: Well, no, but I assume. Hayley glares Francine: What? You think I'm not attractive enough? That-That what? That he's just skip me and go straight to you? Well, aren't we conceited?
Hayley: What the hell! That's the burglar! Dad staged the whole thing! Francine: Yeah, I get it, Hayley. I'm unrape-able, not stupid.
Hayley: But you were paralyzed by a gun. Stan: No, I was paralyzed by you. Look, I'm not going to point fingers here, because I can't. Because of you.
"I'm for it so we can put Nuclear power plants up there, and then beam the power back to earth on a laser beam." ~ Whidden
Star Trek
In this episode, Stan's son, Steve, becomes a famous children's author by turning the adventures of their drunken Alien, Roger, into a book. Stan, jealous that his 3,012 childrens stories hadn't been published, becomes pushy and intrusive, until Steve decides to divorce his parents.
Quotes Stan: ...why'd you cheat? Steve: I'm sorry. It's just, creative writing is hard. I can't do it. Stan: "Can't"? We don't live in "Ameri-can't," Steve. We live in America. No, no, no, no, wait. We live in "Ameri-can." No, wait, that's not right, wait. We are "Ameri-can." Where was I going with this? Steve: Um, I said, "Creative writing is hard." Stan: Oh, yeah, yeah. Perseverance, Steve, it's all about perseverance. And if I Ameri-can't teach you about it, I have a friend who Ameri-will. Well, that sounded good. Had a bumpy start there, but I think I pulled it together.
Roger: Stars, they're just like us. Ooh! Here's Tara Reid buying a gallon of vodka and a case of morning-after pills. I drink gallons of vodka. I should be a star.
"I'm for it so we can put Nuclear power plants up there, and then beam the power back to earth on a laser beam." ~ Whidden
Not Particularly Desperate Housewives
Fran gets bored with the same old routine, so decides to try and become friends with the "Lady Bugs" a group of ultra-cool ladies. They treat her coldly, until the time they accidently believe that Fran is having an afair with a South American Valet. Meanwhile, Stan is pre-occupied with a new dog he adopts and Hayley locks Steve and Klaus in her closet.
Awesome Quotes: Francine: Stan, help me. I've been faking an affair to impress the Ladybugs, and they found out I was lying, and now they're trying to kill me! Stan: A cult of muderous housewives. Before 9/11, I wouldn't have believed it, or at least I'd ask you some follow-up questions. But that's just not the world we live in anymore.
Klaus: There was a very famous Jewish girl who kept a diary. It ended badly. But enough about Fran Drescher. Ha ha! You thought I was making a Holocaust joke. Shame on you!
Stan: (About the dog) What the hell is that? Francine: This is Fussy. His owner was killed, and he needs a home. Stan: No way, Francine. We're Smiths, and Smiths have manly dogs. This dog couldn't be any more effeminate, even if it had 20 vaginas. And then it would just be a freakish mutant. Or a beautiful symbol of fertility. Francine: But... Stan: Forget it, Francine. We already have something girly and annoying in this house. It's called Roger.
Steve: (In Hayley's closet) Let me out or I'll rip up all your clothes! Hayley: Go ahead! If you haven't noticed, I only wear this one outfit.
"I'm for it so we can put Nuclear power plants up there, and then beam the power back to earth on a laser beam." ~ Whidden
Rough Trade
After Stan gets a DUI (after getting caught with his car after Roger smashes it into another car), both Stan and Roger become fed up with one another and agree to swap places for... well, they didn't say how long, but they just agreed to swap places. So Roger becomes a car salesman, and Stan stays at home and eats and drinks and watches Oprah and that kind of crap.
Classic episode, it totally cracked me up. Roger and Stan holding the magic Indian Wishing Bowl and saying they wish they could change places, and Klaus playing with the lights... that was just awesome
"I'm for it so we can put Nuclear power plants up there, and then beam the power back to earth on a laser beam." ~ Whidden
Finances With Wolves
In this episode, Stan gets a big bonus and works and blows it on all kinds of crap. Francine wants to open a muffin stand, and asks for money, but gets no support from Stan. She takes his money, and starts the muffin stand and starts making a fortune. Stan starts to get uncomfortable about no woman being at home, and goes to extreme measures to get her back where she belongs (the kitchen). Also in this episode, Steve thinks he's turned into a werewolf after watching a horror moving and being scratched my a dog.
funny quotes: Stan: Here we go -- mac and cheese. (Reads box) "Boil water." What am I, a chemist?
Francine: Stan, it's great the CIA gave you that $20,000 bonus for "Most Evasive Testimony to Congress," but at this rate, it'll be gone in no time. Stan: Hey, if I don't buy all this crap, the terrorists win. And don't tell me it's not a competition, because it so is.
Stan: Now, make me that breakfast you owe me. Klaus: Right away. But first, let me ask you something. How many eggs should I eat to get enough energy to plow your wife? Stan: Uh, three should do it... What?!
quote:
It's Good to be the Queen
Stan feels bad about being humiliated at his Prom (in true Carrie style, without the blood - just the pigs) that he feels excited about attending Francine's 20 year reunion - since she was the Prom Queen at her school. When he finds out the prom queen votes were miscounted and someone else was Queen, he decides to accompy that women to the Prom... but gets his CIA double to keep his wife away from the reunion. Also in this episode, Steve and Roger get taken around by a Pizza Man who strangely resembles Jesus Christ (and Klaus and Hayley get high).
Funny Quotes: (Before delivering the pizzas) Roger: (Sarcastically) Oh, this is gonna be life-changing. (After delivering the pizzas) Roger: That was totally life-changing!
Roger: Hey, if we got your dad's missile launcher, I bet we could hit the house of the bully who went all Tom Sizemore on your eye. Steve: Oh, I wish I could get that guy back. I'd like to dress up as a girl and make him have sex with me, then say, "Ha! I'm not a girl! You just had sex with a boy who hates you!" (Laughs) Roger: Yeah, let's keep that plan between you, me, and the string of therapists who won't be able to help you.
"I'm for it so we can put Nuclear power plants up there, and then beam the power back to earth on a laser beam." ~ Whidden
Roger n' Me (hahahhaha sounds like "rogering me")
When Stan goes to a bachelor party and finds himself unwelcome, he spends his time in Atlantic City with Roger who... "does things" to him so they can share feelings and thoughts. Stan regrets it the very next day. Also in this episode, Steve and Hayley try to break up a goodlooking couple to keep the remains for themselves.
funny quotes: Peter: Okay, Terry, what is Greg's favorite appetizer? Terry: Oh, that's easy. It's... potato skins! Greg: No, it's wasabi tuna in a raddichio sauce. Terry: Even I think that's gay.
Stan: Oh, my God! I hit Francine! Roger: We should probably leave a note.
Francine: It's not Stan I'm worried about. It's the female "entertainment" I don't trust. Men throw a little cash out 'em, they'll do anything. Then sometimes when you're on the floor with another girl, guys'll throw money, then pick it up and throw the same singles out there again. Like I'm an idiot. Like I don't have peripheral vision.
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Helping Handis
Stan gives Steve steroids to help him become more popular. The plan works fine, because the cool kids in Steve's school are impressed with the massive boobs he grows. At the same time, Francine decides to become a "doctor" due to a short film Hayley makes about her boring life as a housewife.
Funny Sh** Steve: What am I supposed to do now? Stan: Strap 'em down with these Ace bandages. It's what Hilary Swank used to hide her breasts in Boys Don't Cry. You know, that movie where she got what she deserved? (Steve gasps) Stan: An Oscar! And brutally sodomized. Steve: Dad! Stan: ...in a review by Derek Simms of the Detroit Free Press!
quote:
With Friends Like Steve's
Stan takes a liking to Steve's retarded friend Barry... and after Stan convinces Barry to stop taking his "vitamins", Steve becomes the new, evil, twisted Barry's victim in his game of... actually, they don't make clear what his plan was, but man it was a good episode.
Funny stuff: Stan: Man, I'm getting hungry. Hey, let's go dig up your mother so she can make us breakfast!
Steve:(To Barry) Hey, that's my dad's Tara Reid collector's plate. You can't touch that. You know how much that'll be worth in a few months when she's dead?
"I'm for it so we can put Nuclear power plants up there, and then beam the power back to earth on a laser beam." ~ Whidden
In the episode that aired last week, Stan wanted to force his son, Steve, to go to camp to live the happy childhood summers HE had at camp. Eventually he sent him to Camp Re-Fu-Gi, which turned out to be a Refugee camp in Africa. So he goes to Africa to get Steve back, and Fran's expense. Hayley comes with, and Fran and Roger start role-playing at parties as husband and wife.
"I'm for it so we can put Nuclear power plants up there, and then beam the power back to earth on a laser beam." ~ Whidden
10-20-2005 11:08 AM
