Twenty-first century or not, society still puts a lot of pressure on women to marry and raise a family. As a married yet, childless woman, I quite often have others "reminding me" that this is my role.
My husband and I do not want children. In fact, I never really thought I'd ever marry, (mainly because I knew I didn't want the 2.5 kids and the white-picket fence). So, I never felt any pressure to assume this "role". But, I do know women who have a timeline planned in their heads; (married by age 25, first kid by age 27, and so on...)
And so, what I am wondering is, for the women who do desire this or who have a timeline planned out; at what point do you/did you succumb to the pressure? Would you/did you sacrifice some of your standards in order to marry and have children? And for those that did, any regrets?
"What one believes to be real, will be real in it's concequences"
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world"
I am with you Anomaly77. I don't care whether or not I get married and I would be quite happy not to have children, but I still have time to change my mind if I want to (I am only 23).
Right now, I don't see the point in marriage and am REALLY against having children, but people don't seem to understand that. I have people all the time hassling me and my boyfriend, who I have been with for six years, to get married.
Apart from the fact that we are both only 23, we just don't see the need or the point in getting married now or in the future. We are happy as we are, we live together, we are in love and a piece of paper saying I can use his name if I want to does not change that.
We don't want kids, we have our dogs and that is enough for us. Whether that opinion will change in the future, well I don't know. But I don't rellay think so.
I don't try and change married people with children into wanting to get divorced and send all their kids away, so married couples: leave me alone too!
schmiggens said this in post #2 : We don't want kids, we have our dogs and that is enough for us. Whether that opinion will change in the future, well I don't know. But I don't rellay think so.
I don't try and change married people with children into wanting to get divorced and send all their kids away, so married couples: leave me alone too!
It is funny that you say that because often, when people harass me about not having kids I think, "I don't harass people into adopting animals"! We have 3 cats and we are quite fine with our family as it is.
It amazes me because the decision to have children and how many, is such a private and personal choice, and yet the general public seems to take real issue with our decision to not reproduce.
"What one believes to be real, will be real in it's concequences"
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world"
I also did not want children or a husband. Both of my kids were "accidents" and I decided to accept my responsibilities and keep them. I don't regret doing it because my daughters mean the world to me but thank god I did not give in and marry their father. I dont believe in marriage and I didnt think that it would be right to marry their father just because I got pregnant. My boyfriend and I (not their father) have been together for 6.5 years and we are HAPPY without needing to marry. I also dont think a piece of paper can make us anymore committed to each other, than we already are!!! But it annoys the f**k outta me whenever we got anywhere and get asked the "when are you too going to get married" question!!! Why is it that people ALWAYS need to ask that??!! Why does anyone need to get married? Is this going to IMPROVE their lives in anyway?? I don't think so.... and having kids is NEVER easy, no matter how ready one thinks they are!!! I should know, so I never push anyone into having kids either.......... it is THEIR right and choice whether they choose to do so.......
But to answer your question Anomaly, t IS society's pressure that makes most of us succumb into doing so, at least in most cases. Being a Hispanic female, I was always expected to finish high school, get married right after that and start popping kids out!! Disgusting I tell you, and it pisses me off that the mentality is still going on............. it pisses people off that I still refuse to get married, especially since I have 2 kids out of wedlock but hell we are happy so screw them all......................
Erika
"In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience" ~ W.B. Prescott
"Happiness is good health and a bad memory" ~ Ingrid Bergman
I did settle. I was only 20 at the time and dying to get away from a very unhappy home life with my parents. My husband was in the same boat. He settled too. We've stayed married for years and years and years. There's no
chance of ending it now. There's a certain amount of satisfaction in having stayed the course. My children (all grown now) have told us many times that they are very glad we did. However, each one of them is divorced. Our good example didn't take like all the do-gooders tell us it will. I have a few regrets.
Not too many.
03-18-2004 03:53 AM
but hell we are happy so screw them all......................
