Yes, it's a rough thing to go through... but, it made me a stronger person.
Parents who just toss their children aside, because they make decisions in their lives that the parents don't agree with, is such a horrible thing. It was a hard time for me to go through... but, I can tell you horror stories of kids who have come out to their families, and it makes my story look like Disneyland.
:::>^..^<::: ~*~The Journey is more important than the end or the start~*~ :::>^..^<:::
And this guy is a Senator? Don't get me wrong, my stance on same sex marriage is documented but his decision to live his life absent of his own blood due to an issue like this makes me question his judgements.
And yes there is a "shock" period when informed but after several months, I believe rationale should set in. And if not...ones' charactor is established.
My "shock" period lasted about 2 months or so if I recall, but it was not my child.Good lord! Communication is a major downfall of Families IMO.
KJ said this in post #15 : Schmiggens, there's a difference between being shocked, and out right disowning your child. My parents kicked me out on the streets. Yeah, that's real loving. That's really supportive.
But eventually they came around and accepted you for who you are and that was my main point.
It takes time, but most people (from my experience at least, the people I know who have come out) will accept your life decision and will still love you.
Oh, I hate to say it, but, it's not true that MOST people come around.
While there are MANY who do "get over it" there are thousands that don't.
I'm serious. I know people who have lost all of their families.
I was a very lucky person...
:::>^..^<::: ~*~The Journey is more important than the end or the start~*~ :::>^..^<:::
I have to side with KJ here. Many families do come around, however there are way too many that do disown their kids, forever. That is why I posted the article. You only hear about these things when it is a celebrity or politician or other public official.
I have had a number of friends that no longer associate with their families. They have been kicked out on the streets and some have even been beaten by their parent. I have had friends who have attempted suicide rather than tell their parents they were gay.
I get your point schmiggens, it is a valid one, I'm just saying that it is only the best parents that actually love you and support you. Most of the others don't support you (even if they still love you, always hoping you will change), ignore that part of your life like it never happened, or just disown you all together.
I am a very lucky person. My family was only strange for a very short amount of time. Maybe a month max. They have always loved me and would never let me go. The love in my family is very strong. I know how lucky I am, and I remind myself of that all of the time. There are so many that will never know that feeling from their parents/brothers/sisters. My family even used to help some of my gay friends. You just can't get better parents than that.
Now don't get me wrong, my parents are not perfect. I am just stating that I am one of the few lucky ones. My situation is the exception to the rule.
I believe that music is the ultimate expression of my soul.
For every facet of my humanity, there is a sound that can touch my soul, in a way that words cannot express. ---Outsider
Well that is so sad. Most of the people I know have been very lucky then as their families supported them after a very short time of adjusting. A lesbian I know, her mum is always calling her daughter's partner her "other daughter" and they have very loving relationship with both their families.
Another gay man I know, his father always says that "mum always wanted a girl, I wanted a boy, you have given us both" and he means it in the best way. They are also a very loving family.
I am sorry if I offended anyone or upset anyone with my comments, it is just that in my experience (through the people I know) they have been mostly accepted. I only know one gay person who lost his job when he came out. Maybe I just hang out with a tolerant group of people?
Sorry for you ordeals KJ and outsider. I am sure it was very hard for you. But in doing what you are doing and spreading the message of acceptance, hopefully you can help make it easier for future generations to come out and be accepted everywhere by everyone. *fingers crossed*
Yeah... my mom absolutely LOVES Heidi. She is her daughter. My mom calls her that, all the time... also calls her "My Girl" They are very close to one another, and I couldn't ask for anything better. It's been a long road, filled with tears and pain... but, it was worth every single moment.
:::>^..^<::: ~*~The Journey is more important than the end or the start~*~ :::>^..^<:::
schmiggens, I was not offended. I was just trying to show that it is usually something that some families sadly never accept.
Perhaps the difference is a continental one. I know Australia is a bit more liberal than America. Actually America is really anal retentive, but that is just my experience. Most of the people I have met from other nations seem to be more calm about things. I am really glad that you know people that are accepted by their families. It warms my heart to know that there are nice people all over the globe.
I don't usually think in terms of local people (like USA only), I really look for the global community. I think it's really nice to be able to share from continent to continent.
I believe that music is the ultimate expression of my soul.
For every facet of my humanity, there is a sound that can touch my soul, in a way that words cannot express. ---Outsider
William Knight, Who Wrote California Ban on Gay Marriage, Dies
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: May 11, 2004
LOS ANGELES, May 10 (AP) — State Senator William J. Knight, a onetime record-setting military test pilot who as a legislator wrote the measure banning gay marriage in California, died Friday in nearby Duarte. He was 74.
The cause was acute myelogenous leukemia, said his communications director, David Orosco. Mr. Knight, a Republican from Palmdale, north of Los Angeles, had been absent from his Senate seat since April 12 because of his illness.
Mr. Knight, known as Pete, was best known as the author of the state's Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as the union of a man and a woman. After failing to get similar legislation through the Democratic-controlled Legislature, he took his proposal to a referendum, where in 2000 it passed with the approval of 61 percent of the voters.
He had since used the courts to keep state agencies from granting spousal rights to same-sex couples, and a nonprofit group he founded is at the center of the legal challenges to San Francisco's allowing same-sex weddings.
His son David married Joseph Lazzaro, a partner of 10 years, at San Francisco's City Hall in March, two days before the California Supreme Court halted gay weddings pending its decision on the merits of the challenges.
Mr. Knight was born in Noblesville, Ind., near Indianapolis, and attended Butler and Purdue Universities before becoming an Air Force pilot and serving in the Vietnam War.
While in the Air Force, he flew experimental planes, earning astronaut's wings in a craft that during one flight soared above 280,000 feet, according to the Web site of Edwards Air Force Base.
He also set a speed record in the rocket-powered X-15-2A, flying it on Oct. 3, 1967, at 4,520 miles an hour, nearly seven times the speed of sound.
Mr. Knight retired from the Air Force with the rank of colonel. In the Legislature, he represented the 17th Senate District, which comprises northeastern Los Angeles County, all of Inyo County and parts of San Bernardino, Ventura and Kern Counties. His seat will remain vacant until the November election, when term limits would have required him to abandon it.
Mr. Knight is survived by his wife, Gail; three sons; four stepsons; and 15 grandchildren.
I believe that music is the ultimate expression of my soul.
For every facet of my humanity, there is a sound that can touch my soul, in a way that words cannot express. ---Outsider
03-11-2004 05:13 PM
