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adityamahesh
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Creative writing post #1  quote:



I got this from... well, you know where!!!

Gender Based Literature

This assignment was actually turned in by two English students:

In-class Assignment for Wednesday

Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his
or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a
short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another
paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time
in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a
conclusion has been reached.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

By Rebecca <last name deleted> and Gary <last name deleted>

English 44A SMU

Creative Writing

Prof Miller

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile,
which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her
too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile.
But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His
possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now
in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the
neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign
of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The
jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the
cockpit.

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one
last pang of regret for psychologically brutalizing the one woman who had
ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law
Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel." Laurie read in her newspaper
one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared
out the window, dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed
unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to
distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things
around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of
miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a
defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to
destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them they swiftly initiated
their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on
the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive
explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The
President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this!
I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing
partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

You total #!$*&.

Stupid %&#$!.


Old Post 01-08-2004 07:55 PM
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esskay
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post #2  quote:

Schweet

Old Post 01-08-2004 08:20 PM
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The Vlad
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Registered: May 2003
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post #3  quote:

that was f*cking funny :-)

Old Post 01-15-2004 02:07 PM
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chodder
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post #4  quote:

glad to have you back vlad. i have not seen you in a while.

Old Post 01-15-2004 03:41 PM
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