Could it be that the reaction to Melana's choice is based not just on who is looking at it ... but how they themselves look ?
I am wondering if prettier people, who may have more options, tend to find her choice more acceptable, while those who are truly average, or even ready for "Extreme Makeover" see her as more shallow. Just curious.
I think there is some life conditioning as well.
If like Melana, you grow up winning beauty contests and having all the traditionally handsome males ( both shallow and deep ) camped on your doorstep, someone like Adam may not completely meet your expectations in a life mate.
If you grow up without positive attention for your looks, and because you are "average", have had to compete at a disadvantage with women who look like Melana ( or guys who look like Jason ) your expectations are different.
Most average looking single people I know, would consider both Melana and Jason out of their range of possibilities.
Most single people I know whose looks are in the realm of Melana & Jason, typically lean towards those who are similarly attractive.
Also, if there are 2 equally qualified people applying for the same job, and in the looks department one is average or less and the other is above average ... who would get the job ?
Anyway, just my 2cents.
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly,what is essential is invisible to the eye."
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Although not ALL who grow up within the same realm as Melana and Jason, think along the same ways............
Although I never entered into beauty pageants, because I consider those a waste of time, I am an extremely handsome woman yet this does not immediately mean that I NEED to be with someone who is good looking, my boyfriend attracted me because of his personality and his warm heart..... and believe me he is not considered handsome by some people but to me he is the BEST looking guy I have ever come accross because I see more to him than just looks....... no matter what anyone says he holds my heart now for 6 years!!! and if you really look at couples out there you will see that a majority of good looking guys tend to typically date ugly or average girls..... why is this to boost their own ego or simply to always stay in the spotlight?? Good looking girls for the most part, date those that can afford them... and most smart guys are of average looks............. am I not right????
Maybe the reason most of us are dumping on Melena is because, althought we know how these girls typically think, we maybe expect it not to see it flaunted so openly on tv............ or maybe we are all just hypocrites who say they want one thing but go for the other........ I don't know...............
Just my two cents................
~Erika~
"In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience" ~ W.B. Prescott
"Happiness is good health and a bad memory" ~ Ingrid Bergman
Good point and well said. I know from experience the frustration of at one moment (when fixed up) being called "drop dead gorgeous" and turning heads, and at another moment (without the help of makeup, etc.) becoming invisible to the general public. Once nominated as "Most Beautiful" in high school, as a mother now in my mid 30's, my priorities are different. Rather than spending an hour at the gym to have a perfect body, I'd rather spend that time playing with my son. However, the reaction of the general public to this is astonishing. Interestingly enough, I'm truly a more beautiful person today than I was then, but where is the nomination for "most beautiful" now???
In a day and age of "Extreme Makeover" we see how easily our appearances can change. That's the thing - we are constantly changing - both inwardly and outwardly, so to make rash judgments is futile. The sad thing is that as a society made up of fallen human beings, we place so much importance on the exterior when it is so fleeting and superficial. It's only human to be attracted to beautiful things, but I wish we all spent more time looking beyond the surface of things. The media is to blame for much of this, but so are we. If we all spent as much time and energy on our soul as we do on the way we look, this world would be a better place.
By the way, I don't usually visit message boards and write this stuff, but I guess this hit a nerve. It's obviously a topic I feel passionately about and appreciate the opportunity to voice these feelings.
Is this reality TV? I really don't thing it matters who she picked. Did anyone stop to think that she might have a boyfriend back home in KC? And maybe she only does these reality shows because she thinks its good for her career?
It's TV, the producers dictate everything that happens. The same thing happened in "Meet my folks".
You'll find that most of these beautiful women only do these shows so they can get into Hollywood. In reality, women like this don't go on TV shows to find the love of their life.
Sorry, not exaclty a fun post for what is really just a fun TV show, but it sounded like a couple people in the forum were taking this a bit to hard.
oskar said this in post #34 : Is this reality TV? I really don't thing it matters who she picked. Did anyone stop to think that she might have a boyfriend back home in KC? And maybe she only does these reality shows because she thinks its good for her career?
It's TV, the producers dictate everything that happens. The same thing happened in "Meet my folks".
You'll find that most of these beautiful women only do these shows so they can get into Hollywood. In reality, women like this don't go on TV shows to find the love of their life.
Sorry, not exaclty a fun post for what is really just a fun TV show, but it sounded like a couple people in the forum were taking this a bit to hard.
Oskar
Welcome to INReview, oskar
It was nice of you to be concerned and to express it ... but are folks here taking things too seriously or too hard ? ... Nah ... probably not.
But are the situations and human interactions put forth on this and other reality tv shows provocative food for thought and discussion ? Absolutely.
I think most of us realize that Reality TV is about 95 % TV and 5 % Reality if that --- and further we only see the editted product which is controlled by the producers and their concept of what is "real".
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly,what is essential is invisible to the eye."
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
I don't know, I have read a number of posts and the reactions seem pretty real. I guess it is all for entertainment purposes anyway. Problem is, people from all over the world watch this stuff and believe its real. They believe your typical american woman is just like Melena (or at least the role she is acting). The world opinion of the US is bad enough.
Maybe if it wasn't sold as "reality" it wouldn't be so bad.
It's all publicity. "Dating Show" contestants are budding celebs, look at how many were on the old "Dating Game", like Tom Selleck and John Ritter.
"Bacholer Bob" did his show to promote his CD and to "climb the show biz ladder". He just picked a woman and dumped her as fast as he could. then hooked up with the hostess of the "Bacholer" reruns!
melana made the best decision for her. she didnt have as strong as feelings for adam as she did for jason. yeah adam was sweet, but if she was more attracted to jason than she was adam, she made the best decision- by the way i was rooting for jason the whole time
I was rooting for Jason the whole time and I'm a guy. Melena is just way too good looking for Adam. I mean it just ain;t right people. Plus if she chose Adam it would be for the cash-money. Anyways, rumor has it that she and Jason have split up and she was seen in public with that douche bag, Zach. I hated that guy. I mean who breaks an egg on some poor dude's head? What, is he in like 5th grade or something? I prey that the rumor is false.
This is all great and dandy in an Utopic world - but it does not change the fact that several characteristics of Jason's personality and direction in life were amateurishly moronic in comparison to Adam's.
This isn't just about basing one's opinion on pretty and not-so pretty - this was about Melana making a poor decision despite understanding the broader criteria of an individual. However, I'm not convinced she comprehended this to the extent that we did as omniscient viewers. Through the process, we were given a much more candid look at each of the two guys perhaps giving us a more well-rounded and educated outlook on their characters and what they had to offer.
The producers may have unwittingly sacrificed the potential for a successful relationship by brainstorming methods to maximize their ratings. By the way, I don't consider the blind bliss of a shallow relationship, 'till death do they part, very successful.
The comparison of Jason's personality and direction in life to Adam's is completely up to the eye of the beholder. I much prefer Jason's laid back personality to that of Adam's awkward nervousness in the romance department. Just watching Adam and Melana kiss was almost unbearable. Sure he made her laugh, but they had no chemistry. Also the criteria of being successful in life is quite subjective, but the essence is always happiness.
You seem to be taking it back to the ways of arranged marriage - primarily based on financial success being an indicator of a successful marriage. I'm sure we know that hardly works for the best.
In the end, I don't believe Melana would have had much success with Adam either. They were just too hammy and unnatural together. Personally I thought Adam was treating the whole thing as just a competition and I didn't feel he genuinely liked the girl. Plus, I thought he was a bit irritating. I didn't think Jason would have had much success with Melana but he was still a much better choice than Adam (excluding physical traits).
Last edited by CurryFace on 01-30-2004 at 02:27 PM |
Nicely said. You can't tell me that when Jason and Melena looked or talked at/to eachother that you couldn't sense the passion for eachother. Adam was really cool, but so were the other guys. And what if Melena chose Adam?...everyone would be bagging her because she chose the 'rich' guy. If you searched Melena on the internet, you would DEFINETELY come pass her biography, and it would tell you that she graduated at a good school. So what if Jason still lives with his parents? I think that it's sweet. And he DID say that he only moved back in with them because he needed to save money while studying at school, so get over yourselfs. Adam was rich and all, but they didn't connect at the same level as Jason and Melena did, and you should be able to tell this if you watched the WHOLE series. Some people who sent stuff in just watched the last episode and think that they know everything about her. You're just telling or bagging her because she didn't do what YOU would've done, but lets face it, SHE was the bachellorette, SHE was picking the guys, and most of all, SHE was the one getting to know the guys, not YOU. How about the apisode when she pretended to be her cousin and dressed up in the fat suit?...Adam bagged her 'cousin' WAY more than Jason did, and when Danielle came out on elimination night and told the guys that she'd heard everything, Adam even said that he was thinking 'oh my god', so what do u say about that?!?!?!?!?!
sebuscher said this in post #20 : I know firsthand how people judge "the book by the cover" because I am also petite and blonde. When others compliment me, I am amazed because I see my faults: mornings with puffy eyes and no make up, etc. People immediately judge me as superficial, ditzy, arrogant, etc. and I am far from each of those! I love to read, am very intellectual, deeply spiritual, and love people for who they are, not what they look like. At one time, in fact, I chose not to date a particular well-known person because I was afraid of what people would think of HIM for dating me (he was not as attractive but a wonderful person and I was afraid they would judge him as shallow for dating someone who looked like me). Shame on me! If people jump to conclusions without knowing a person, THEY are the one who is shallow and judgmental. Melana and Jason are people just like us. Please look beyond the surface and give people a chance. You just might be surprised at what you find underneath! Even a beautiful person can have a beautiful inside! Our outward appearance has nothing to do with who we are inside!!!
quote:
Jokers_Harley said this in post #28 : I myself (although not blonde) are petite and with a bubbly personality, but I think that what saves me from being called a dumb-brunette is the fact that I am so tomboyish.... and you can't help but love me. I whole-heartedly agree with you that external beauty is of very little merit....... the world would be a whole better place if people were to value other things above money, power & physical beauty..............................
~Erika~
I thought you guys were discussing AJ... seems a couple of you are using the opportunity to flatter yourselves... cum'on... there must be better ways to feel better about yourselves.
01-08-2004 04:24 PM
and you can't help but love me. 
