OK, first Natalie...
I am planning on travelling to Cornwall as soon as I can...you know I had a job that was the only thing keeping the roof over my head, I couldn't just take time off...I don't fancy living on the street.
Secondly, I wanted to tell my familly about being engaged when you are all TOGETHER...It's not something that I wanted to say over the phone...it's really important to me. I told Angel and my friends here at inreview, but this is the only way that I can contact them.
This isn't how I wanted you to find out...I have been trying to think of ways, but deep down I am scared that it won't be excepted at all...it's hard for me...I don't expect you to understand.
And finally, you know that I care about you, I would die for my younger sister, I can't afford to call a lot or visit, that's true...but you can just go around making this into something that it's not. I came to London to be with Amie...and to move away from the people that liked to drag me down for being what I am...and you were NOT one of them.
I am sorry for how things look to you, I just hope that one day you will begin to understand.
I still miss you every day, I still feel upset, and above all, I do love you, more than my life.
I'm sorry.
I'm not clever or witty enough to think of such a thing!
...Just one more thing...
I don't understand why you try and make this harder?...I cant believe that you just come into this site and start pretending that I don't give a damn...For all of the times that I have called you, I think that you have called me once...twice tops...You don't write, you can't even be bothered to mail back most of the time...but when you do...you spend your time in here making me look terrible because you are angry. I don't understand how you can say all of those things when you knwo they are not true, and I really don't think you will ever have any idea of how much your words hurt...
I'm not clever or witty enough to think of such a thing!
I know you have a lot of friends here, but please keep in mind that a lot of people you have never and probably never will know come here and read these posts.
I know you have no realtime means a lot of the time to keep up with people like Lilly and Misery and Angel, but just remember that this is not personal messages and especially with the posts between you and your sister, they should probably be kept in PM, not posted for the world to see.
But good luck to you and Amie and I hope you can sort it all out. I admire your strength and courage to keep going. Keep it up.
03-28-2004 05:03 PM
Up, up and AWAY!!!
... 
Elena 
Eliza 
I admire your strength and courage to keep going. Keep it up.
