So, American Idol is now back, in it's sixth season, and kicking us off in Minnesota tonight, for two hours of auditions... people who can't sing... people who shouldn't sing... cat fights between the judges... tears from people who can't take the truth... people who try to persuade the judges, and get them to believe that they can sing, when they can't.. and so much more.
And before the show starts with that music we know so well, we are all given a gift. Yes, it's a girl auditioning for her first porno. At least that's what I thought it was, because it sounded like she was about to have an orgasm, and there were not lyrics coming from her mouth.
Now, here we are, ladies and gentlemen. The opener that we all know so very well. And now, a little bit of talk about Prince. Oh joy... we're in his home town. I'm not a fan of the guy. He's okay.... but, just not my thing. Jewel though, being a guest judge, is great. I'm looking forward to hearing what she's got to say to those who audition tonight.
First up, a girl who said that Jewel is her idol, and has inspired her, over the years to want to sing. She's just found out, after saying that, that Jewel is in that room, and will be a judge. Oh joy.... so now she can be a bumbling idiot, right? Most likely. I really didn't like her voice. It was too bouncy. And when the judges say "no" to you, don't beg, don't cry, etc. LEAVE! Bye bye, Jessica "Jewel wanna-be" NEXT!
I don't get why they spend 10 minutes on someones audition, especially when they aren't being put through. I don't want to waste my time listening to someone argue that they can sing, and should be given another chance, etc... What a absolute boring way to have to spend my evening. As of 8:25pm, they have shown TWO auditions. That's it.
And now, we're got a cross between an Italian singer, and an American boxer. Interesting. I have to say that I was soooooo not expecting that voice. Beautiful. Then, he switched it over, to English singing, and I was still impressed. Because of how he dressed though, they didn't put him through. In my opinion, he should have been put through. I mean, they put CRAZY DAVE (from last season) through... and all he did was jump around, and scream.
Now for this girl who was born a crack baby, and lived with her grandmother. Okay, those sob stories always get to me, because that's gotta be so very hard to go through something like that. But, she overcame it all. Good on her. When she put on those sunglasses and said... "These are my stardism sunglasses" I had to chuckle. That was cute... I really like her voice, even if it was a bit too powerful for me. I think that there will be some vocal coaches in Hollywood that can teach her how to reel that in, and still deliver a great performance that doesn't make you think that you're in church. I'm glad that she was put through.
And now... people who can't remember their lyrics. If you can't remember you're lyrics, then stop what you're doing, immediately. Look at the judges, and say this: "I'm truly sorry to waste your time. I can't remember the words, and so I thank you for giving me this opportunity." Then, kindly walk out the door, and leave. No one wants to sit there, watching you try to remember the words, and just mumble. It's a real time waster.
The Shakira look alike... OMG, I swear that Simon's eyes bugged out when she walked into the audition room. It was clear what his thoughts were. She did that Blondie song, and I liked her voice, but I'm really glad that they asked her to sing something of Shakira's. She's good. But, Randy was making comments to her that made me think that he was dreaming of a three way between him, Simon, and her. PERVERT! Glad that she went through... but, I don't see her making the top 10.
Cowboy is next. What is up with the strings on his hat? That made him look like a CHILD. He said that he's got something that Carrie Underwood doesn't have. And then, he opened his mouth, sang, and proved it. NO talent. And, he was very dull.
Now for Jerrod, the man in the military. He's on the USS Reagan, stationed here in San Diego. YAY! I like him... and his personality. And I like that his superior seems to be behind him coming onto AI. I like his voice, even if I don't think that it's the best there is. Maybe he will be like season two's, Josh Gracin, and after the show... after the military... he will go to Nashville, and put out a country album, and have something there. I don't see him making it all the way... but, I'm glad that he's going to Hollywood. Jewel and Randy were right though.... he needs to work on that pitchiness.
Wow... that only takes us through the first HALF of tonight's show. We've still got another hour of this. And this is only the first city. HOW do these judges honestly sit through thousands of people, who don't have a drop of talent? They have a lot more patience than I do. I would be laughing in people's faces, and telling them some harsh truths. LOL I still don't like the length of time that is being spent on showing each audition.
Okay... this girl that's roaring like the lion from the Wizard of Oz is scaring me. I'm serious... I need my momma. WTF does she think that she's doing... impersonating for an audition? You're supposed to SING! And besides... it was a horrible impersonation.
Next up... Stephen Horst, the vocal coach. Singing, "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" from Aerosmith. Ummmmmmmmmm, he needs to pull that pitch instrument back out from his pocket. His falsetto scared me. OMG... stop arguing with the judges. I can't believe that he's a vocal teacher. Randy is right... he shouldn't be taking money from people, to teach them, if he thinks that HE is good. What's he teaching his students? REFUND!
Michelle Steingas - she's a cute blond, who sort of reminds me of last seasons Kellie Pickler (so I guess that Heck will be drooling all over her, right?). She has a nice voice, and it's soft. Another country singer. Yeppers... just like Kellie. She's through.
Oh, how sweet. This next girl was flow out, from California, by her boss, and his wife. They believe in her, and so they paid for this trip. She must be a really decent singer if they did something like that, right? WRONG! And I think that there is a little something, something going on there between her and her boss. When he came in, and she looked at him, and sang... I was like... "There are some sparks flying here." Well, I hope that they aren't too upset to have spent money on four airline tickets, hotel, and everything else... only to have her not make it. Though, WHY did they fly out there? They could have auditioned in California, or even Seattle. Hmmmmmmmmmmm....
Matt Sato, age 16. His parents aren't there with him, for support. Shannon and I were talking at that point, so I missed his explanation about that. He said something about already a lot of money has been invested in music, for him. Oh well... not important, right? I actually like his voice. And, being that young, he's so much easier to work with, and shape, in my opinion. I'm glad that they said yes. I liked his call home, to his mom, to tell her that he's going to Hollywood. I guess that one of his parents will have to be supportive now, since he's under 18, and has to have a parent/guardian with him, at all times while in Hollywood.
Rachel Jenkins - Army Reservist, with a husband who is currently serving in Baghdad. She sings, "His Eyes on the Sparrow" and I have to say that I am completely unfamiliar with this song. But, I liked her voice enough to say that I would like to see her go through to Hollywood. And, they do put her through. Even though her voice seemed to hit a few bumps, I think that they would make a huge mistake had they said "no" to her.
And now, 21 year old Sarah Krueger. Singing, "Somewhere Over The Rainbow." BEAUTIFUL! From the first note... that voice totally had me captured. OMG! As of right now, she is my pick. I don't know who else will catch my eye/ear... but, she's it unless someone better comes along. She has the looks... nice body, long beautiful, curly hair, very pretty... and a voice like an angel. She's got a very strong voice.
Brenna.... "OMG, I've watched every single American Idol, Pop Idol, and Canadian Idol." SHUT UP! Like we care. Just because you're a fan, doesn't mean that you can actually sing, does it? If that were the case, there would be millions of people auditioning, and getting put through.
But first, this Jason boy is brought in for an audition. Twirling the sticks, and breaking windows with that voice. He's the one that they've shown previews of, blowing up, and cussing, etc... after his audition. Guess that we have to have one, each season, right? And he's like 16 years old... cussing them out, and his momma holds him. "Don't worry... you will be famous!" Yeah, that's it... lie to your kid, and tell him that he is good at something that he's not good at. That is a great thing to teach our children... so that they can be built up with false hopes, and get shot down, and they not believe it. Boo hoo, little baby. Take your tears home... and let your momma dry your water works up... we're not interested in your teen angst.
And now, back to Brenna. And DUH... I mean, she's totally BFF (Best Friends Forever) with American Idol... and her favorite is Ace, who she met, TWICE since last season, and he drew her a heart. WHOOPIE!! I totally think that she's going to such horribly. Singing "Under Pressure" by Queen, she's got to have some brass balls or something, because Freddie Mercury isn't easy to sing. And, as I predicted... she is HORRIBLE! If there are ANY animals left in the mid-west, after that.... instead of all running for cliffs and committing mass animal suicide, I will be shocked. "Why? I don't understand. I've got 10 years of training!" YOU SUCK! That's why they didn't put you through. I mean, really.... who cares if you've got a degree in vocal performance. You were cheated, honey, and you should tell them that they gave you a false degree. Seek a lawyer who might get you a decent settlement against that college, because they ripped you off.
How there is even a single person left in the building after that audition, I don't know. Brenna hit that damn high pitch, and I swear that I heard panes of glass, all over San Diego, breaking, from her voice traveling through our televisions. The judges probably now are all suffering from punctured ear drums. Hopefully they can get those patched up though.
Now they are giving a "tribute" to Prince... by showing a bunch of auditions, each worse then the previous, of different Prince songs. OMG, I feel sick to my stomach right now, and my headache is getting worse. Randy is right... Prince will never come back onto American Idol after that. BLECK!!! Just horrid.
Okay.... now we've got a shower singer. Uhhhhhh, isn't that what we ALL are? I mean, even I sound like Celine Dion in my shower. Wait a minute. OH HELL NO, HE DIDN'T JUST BRING UP MY CHRIS DAUGHTRY!!!!!!!!! You suck, and you need to leave. Chris didn't open up the door for you. He opened up the door for himself, and proved that he had true talent. You have a raspy voice that is going to leave you with a blow out throat before you're 21 years old. You're pushing yourself, vocally, waaaaaaaaaaay too hard. And you don't change. Even Chris changed it up, depending on what he was singing... even if it was still in a rock style. So, you get 15 minutes, to learn an ABBA song, and return. You sounded the same, and that is why you aren't going through to Hollywood. Jewel is 100% right. Stick with writing the songs, for your band, and others. But, you aren't meant to be a singer. Instead of arguing with her... an accomplished singer, take her advice, and save your vocal cords, you teenage know-it-all. And, once again, STOP bringing up Chris Daughtry, and that he's opened doors for you. Because I think that he just slammed it, in your face, and threw the deadbolt too.
YAY... they re FINALLY all done with this city. After spending however many hours that they did there... only 17 people, out of however many actually auditioned, made it through to the Hollywood round. Do I think that we've already found the season six winner, and our next American Idol? Well, Sarah Krueger is a HUGE possibility. She's going to definitely, in my opinion, be in the top 10, and possibly top 4. I will have more to say about her after we get to Hollywood, and know who else is competing. But, she was, by far, one of the best auditions, in all of the previous seasons of American Idol.
Tomorrow night were off to Seattle, Washington. Rumor is that this is going to be some of the worst auditions, ever. We shall see. I just hope that we don't have to sit through weeks and weeks of the auditions. I'm ready, like I already said, to get to Hollywood, and hear the people who are truly working toward a singing career, compete for one of the final spots in the live round of season six.
:::>^..^<::: ~*~The Journey is more important than the end or the start~*~ :::>^..^<:::
When that 16 year old, who was using those juggling sticks, walked out, and was cussing, and being "bleeped" left and right... I was laughing. Then, he totally broke down, in his mommys arms, and was sobbing. I started cracking up. I wanted to smack him, and then shake him. GET YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN!
:::>^..^<::: ~*~The Journey is more important than the end or the start~*~ :::>^..^<:::
That was the only kid I didn't laugh at (too hard) because he looked like he had something mentally wrong. Beside being deluded into thinking he will be famous one day (like all the people are) this kid seemed seriously mentally ill. But hey, he knew what the deal was when he signed up.
The worst was that next chick after who was shocked she didn't make it. I wanted to smack her.
The Lion chick was hilarious. I hope she didn't actually think that was going to make it. If so- even more hilarious.
The Latina chick was nails. I mean, she looked like a 1950's Cuban flapper selling cig's at a Vegas Casino, but still. That accent is way to thick at times. She'll be gone soon. Hopefully end up in Maxim.
Overall, the kids that cry just crack me up. They put themselves in this position. They wait for hours and hours in line, sometimes braving the elements in a grueling process to nail a two-minute “audition.” (I put audition in quotes because if you think the producers behind the camera don’t have a say on who stays and who goes… I got news for you.)
I find it baffling that the really overly bad, not a chance in hell, laughably terrible talent-less side show freaks do not realize that the producers purposely put them there to be ridiculed and berated by the judges which in turn makes tens of millions of Americans laugh at them. It's brilliant from the producer standpoint because they get people like me to tune in who would otherwise never touch this show on a dare. Of course I tune out after the casting part is done but I'm sure they hook a few people that way.
What's more remarkable is the fact this is all painfully obvious yet people don't care and are so steadfast in their support of the show. Meanwhile Simon and company are laughing all the way to the bank for making a teenage dream killing snuff show. Moreover, the only reason these teens have such delusions of grandeur is because of the show in the first place. It's a self-perpetuating gold mind. Bloody brilliant.
the man with the american hat was funny. the one man that said he had a wider range than whitney houston stunk. jewel was a typical celeberty judge, she got cranky but was only saying what the other judges said. the crack whore baby sang good. I liked her voice.
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, diet coke in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies.
A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though you're slightly cracked.
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, diet coke in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies.
A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though you're slightly cracked.
01-15-2007 08:24 PM
