Without pornography, what would sex with our partners be like in the 21st century?
Sex provides each of us with pleasure. It has been a phenomenon that has occurred since the beginning of time. Sex is so pleasurable, even animals engage in it for pleasure and not always for reproductive reasons. Sex always has been and always will be the way humans fulfill that inherent need and desire in ourselves and with each other.
Before pornography, how did humans identify, communicate, express and act on those desires/needs with each other? What was their guiding force and how did they manage to keep sex a fulfilling act before modern technology and 20/21st century morals evolved into the state it is in today?
The more hardcore pornography becomes, and the faster the media sells sex, there are more expectations placed on us by our partners. These are expectations of our sex lives that should never have crossed over into the non-pornography world: Our un-scripted, un-acted, and in the non-entertainment dimension that is the Reality of our lives.
When we live in a world that can't separate the difference between the actions of porn stars and expect those same actions from people who do not engage in the making of pornographic material, when do we say enough is enough and reclaim the decency of intimacy?
In your opinion, what are the pros and cons, if any, of pornography, and should it be banned?
Porn can get addictive, or so I have heard. And yet so can writing in forums, that can get addictive too.
In my opinion, roadside billboards can do the same thing as porn....
at times, I have turned on the TV and it happened to be on a station that
shows, in my opinion, the same as porn.
I don't like to get broadsided by porn on such ocassions because well, it has an effect that I have to attend to, and one I wasn't asking for either.
From what I have heard from those who are addicted to porn, it can pretty much turn you into a person who objectifies people. They really have to work hard at relating to people as human beings....even if they are not involved with them.
And porn can do a number on relationships...way too many of my friends have complained that their husbands spend too much time in the computer room looking at porn instead of interracting with their families. And then they don't want to be intimate with their partners.
As far as banning it....I don't think it should be banned for the simple reason that when things are available, they can get addictive, yet if it were banned, it would just go to the black market...and for some people would make it even more enticing...and then it wouldn't be regulated, and you know what would happen then. Ick.
If I go to a gas station that sells porn I make a big deal and say, you know, I didn't know you sell porn here. And for that very reason, I will buy my gas across the street. Nothing like getting slimed in public.
sowhatsthetruth said this in post #2 :
From what I have heard from those who are addicted to porn, it can pretty much turn you into a person who objectifies people. They really have to work hard at relating to people as human beings....even if they are not involved with them.
Very well said and very accurate!
And porn can do a number on relationships...way too many of my friends have complained that their husbands spend too much time in the computer room looking at porn instead of interracting with their families. And then they don't want to be intimate with their partners.
Yes, a friend of mine who has been married for a little over a year has given up intimate time with his wife for intimate time with his computer. His wife is struggling to hold his attention, but it's not working for her because, well, she simply won't engage in the hardcore sex that seems to be the only thing that gets my friend off lately. He forgot her birthday, so she sat in a chair alone for the entire evening while my friend did enough celebrating for both of them on his computer.
You've brought up some other very important things that I would like to comment on. I will do that later this evening when I have more time.
Porn is bad for one reason especially in a relationship, because there is something about it that arouses immediately and can be immediately quelled...
No need for romantic dinners, foreplay etc. It's a lazy man's way of getting off, in my humble opinion.
Another thing...
sex is an intimate act, it should bring 2 people closer together....
So, with what exactly are you being intimate using porn?
Yourself, perhaps?
Personally, that can be done without porn thank you very much.
So, not only is it lazy, it is cowardly because you forego human contact, in my humble opinion. Don't mean to be harsh here, I think I am only pointing out the obvious.
sowhatsthetruth said this in post #5 : Another thing...
sex is an intimate act, it should bring 2 people closer together....
So, with what exactly are you being intimate using porn?
Yourself, perhaps?
Personally, that can be done without porn thank you very much.
I think an increasing problem for some people is that porn has been pushed into people's minds as being the "tool", "foreplay/prelude" and "only" way for self "intimacy"
Media is a sick game of cat and mouse. It is subliminal advertising and brainwashing. People just keep eating it up and allowing it to destroy and shake the foundation of people's lives. Porn has built a great big preventative barrier to healthy human intimacy. One by one, every day, a new one falls victim to the sick game.
So, not only is it lazy, it is cowardly because you forego human contact, in my humble opinion. Don't mean to be harsh here, I think I am only pointing out the obvious.
You're not being harsh at all. When was the last time you heard reports of people being addicted to putting time and effort into keeping their relationships healthy and satisfying?
I think an increasing problem for some people is that porn has been pushed into people's minds as being the "tool", "foreplay/prelude" and "only" way for self "intimacy"
IMO, porn doesn't make anything more satisfying, it just allows for faster arousal...( I was going to add more, but I hope you get the gyst)
quote:
Media is a sick game of cat and mouse. It is subliminal advertising and brainwashing. People just keep eating it up and allowing it to destroy and shake the foundation of people's lives. Porn has built a great big preventative barrier to healthy human intimacy. One by one, every day, a new one falls victim to the sick game.
Maybe so, but after awhile people wake up to the fact that they've been slimed, and that being with a live human, like your husband or wife, is really ultimately more satisfying. If they don't then I question if they have a heart made of stone, or what?
quote:
When was the last time you heard reports of people being addicted to putting time and effort into keeping their relationships healthy and satisfying?
Excellent point.
Now, perhaps I won't get any more porn headers and naked women when exploring this site. Lucky me.
Delta said this in post #9 : Its the sick society we live in. Boys 13 have access to porn and form their judgments about women from then on.
That about sums it up.
A person can't be an attractive, decent woman with good morals in this world without more expectations being placed on her.
Just when someone thinks they are already VERY liberal in many areas, even sexually, there is always someone out there who will prove them wrong.
Are people that sick that they can't separate entertainment from real life situations? If so, it is probably best that they form "relationships" with their nearest adult video stores.
Do women have to start wearing signs that say "I am NOT a porn star"?
I have never watched a porn movie the whole way through, I saw bits and pieces of one or two back in high school that a friend found under his mum's bed and a big group of us watched them for a few seconds, but it was too wierd and gross and just plain blah.
I think pornography has been around in some form since forever. Before it became such a vsiual medium, it was the written word taht got everyone fired up and they've had brothels since before time began, so sex has always been somewhat in your face.
I don't think porn has led to the downfall of society or anything dramatic like that, people liek to blame it for the delays in women's right and the objectification of women, but again that stuff has been going on forever as well. It's a scapegoat.
The bible wouldn't tell us not to have sex with animals if people weren't doing it back then. If people were having were having sex with animals before porn, they'll still be doing it when porn is dead and gone.
Myth #1: Pornography is a victimless act:
Fact:victims include
*spouse or future spouse
*kids or future kids
*yourself--the way we see ourselves
*porn actors and actresses
Myth #2: Porn is just an issue for men.
Fact: 1/2 of women struggling with issue are women
Myth #3: Porn is not an issue within the church.
Fact: Promise Keepers reports 1/3 of their men struggle. Pastors also struggle.
Myth #4 Porn is just entertainment
Fact: Comes out of pain, lonliness, fear of relationship.
*Creates unrealistic expectations of how sexual intimacy is supposed to be.
*Less interested in having sex with spouse.
*Loss of interest in pursuing marital relationship.
Myth #5 Porn is harmless way to explore sexuality.
Fact: Stages of use...
*early exposure
*addiction
*escalation
*desensitization
*acting out sexually...100% of sex offenders used porn regularly
Myth #6 Porn not specifically mentioned in Bible so it is ok
*Book of Leviticus
*Matthew 5:28
*Romans 13: 13-14
Am I addicted?
look at...
*frequency
*intensity
*failed attempts to stop
How to address addiction...repent. Turn away.
*reject thru separation
*remove opportunity
*remove concealment
*remove ambiguity
*resources, counselors, support
*stay accountable when things are going well
08-17-2005 05:26 PM
And yet so can writing in forums, that can get addictive too. 
