Date rape - facts and myths - are you a rapist or a victim?

Kobe Bryant Forum

I feel this is such an important topic that I'm making a thread for it to get visibility here in this forum.

Bottom line is basically: Don't drop your pants if you can't control what's in them.


Children and teenagers are most often the victims of sexual assault or abuse. One in four girls and one in six boys will be the victim of sexual abuse by the age of 18 (National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect).


http://www.aaets.org/arts/art13.htm

The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress (AAETS)
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Perspectives on Acquaintance Rape
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IV. Research Findings

The research of Koss and her colleagues has served as the foundation of many of the investigations on the prevalence, circumstances, and aftermath of acquaintance rape within the past dozen or so years. The results of this research have served to create an identity and awareness of the problem. Equally as important has been the usefulness of this information in creating prevention models. Koss acknowledges that there are some limitations to the research. The most significant drawback is that her subjects were drawn exclusively from college campuses; thus, they were not representative of the population at large. The average age of the subjects was 21.4 years. By no means does this negate the usefulness of the findings, especially since the late teens and early twenties are the peak ages for the prevalence of acquaintance rape. The demographic profile of the 3,187 female and 2,972 male students in the study was similar to the makeup of the overall enrollment in higher education within the United States. Here are some of the most important statistics:

Prevalence

One in four women surveyed was victim of rape or attempted rape.
An additional one in four women surveyed was touched sexually against her will or was victim of sexual coercion.
84 percent of those raped knew their attacker.
57 percent of those rapes happened while on dates.
One in twelve male students surveyed had committed acts that met the legal definitions of rape or attempted rape.
84 percent of those men who committed rape said that what they did was definitely not rape.
Sixteen percent of the male students who committed rape and ten percent of those who attempted a rape took part in episodes involving more than one attacker

Responses of the Victim

Only 27 percent of those women whose sexual assault met the legal definition of rape thought of themselves as rape victims.
42 percent of the rape victims did not tell anyone about their assaults.
Only five percent of the rape victims reported the crime to the police.
Only five percent of the rape victims sought help at rape-crisis centers.
Whether they had acknowledged their experience as a rape or not, thirty percent of the women identified as rape victims contemplated suicide after the incident.
82 percent of the victims said that the experience had permanently changed them.

Myths About Acquaintance Rape

Myth 1: Once a man reaches a certain point of arousal, sex is inevitable and they can't help forcing themselves upon a woman.

Reality: Men are capable of exercising restraint in acting upon sexual urges.

Myth 2: Intimate kissing or certain kinds of touching mean that intercourse is inevitable.

Reality: Everyone's right to say "no" should be honored, regardless of the activity which preceded it.


Also previous sexual activity does not imply consent in some later situation.

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http://198.187.128.12/colorado/lpex...fs-main.htm&2.0

Colorado Criminal Code

18-3-402. Sexual assault.
Statute text
(1) Any actor who knowingly inflicts sexual intrusion or sexual penetration on a victim commits sexual assault if:

(a) The actor causes submission of the victim by means of sufficient consequence reasonably calculated to cause submission against the victim's will; or

(b) The actor knows that the victim is incapable of appraising the nature of the victim's conduct; or

(c) The actor knows that the victim submits erroneously, believing the actor to be the victim's spouse; or

(d) At the time of the commission of the act, the victim is less than fifteen years of age and the actor is at least four years older than the victim and is not the spouse of the victim; or

(e) At the time of the commission of the act, the victim is at least fifteen years of age but less than seventeen years of age and the actor is at least ten years older than the victim and is not the spouse of the victim; or

(f) The victim is in custody of law or detained in a hospital or other institution and the actor has supervisory or disciplinary authority over the victim and uses this position of authority to coerce the victim to submit, unless the act is incident to a lawful search; or

(g) The actor, while purporting to offer a medical service, engages in treatment or examination of a victim for other than a bona fide medical purpose or in a manner substantially inconsistent with reasonable medical practices; or

(h) The victim is physically helpless and the actor knows the victim is physically helpless and the victim has not consented.


(2) Sexual assault is a class 4 felony, except as provided in subsections (3), (3.5), (4), and (5) of this section.

(3) Sexual assault is a class 1 misdemeanor if committed under the circumstances of paragraph (e) of subsection (1) of this section.

(3.5) Sexual assault is a class 3 felony if committed under the circumstances described in paragraph (h) of subsection (1) of this section.

(4) Sexual assault is a class 3 felony if it is attended by any one or more of the following circumstances:

(a) The actor causes submission of the victim through the actual application of physical force or physical violence; or

(b) The actor causes submission of the victim by threat of imminent death, serious bodily injury, extreme pain, or kidnapping, to be inflicted on anyone, and the victim believes that the actor has the present ability to execute these threats; or

(c) The actor causes submission of the victim by threatening to retaliate in the future against the victim, or any other person, and the victim reasonably believes that the actor will execute this threat. As used in this paragraph (c), "to retaliate" includes threats of kidnapping, death, serious bodily injury, or extreme pain; or

(d) The actor has substantially impaired the victim's power to appraise or control the victim's conduct by employing, without the victim's consent, any drug, intoxicant, or other means for the purpose of causing submission.

(e) (Deleted by amendment, L. 2002, p. 1578, § 2, effective July 1, 2002.)

(5) (a) Sexual assault is a class 2 felony if any one or more of the following circumstances exist:

(I) In the commission of the sexual assault, the actor is physically aided or abetted by one or more other persons; or

(II) The victim suffers serious bodily injury; or

(III) The actor is armed with a deadly weapon or an article used or fashioned in a manner to cause a person to reasonably believe that the article is a deadly weapon or represents verbally or otherwise that the actor is armed with a deadly weapon and uses the deadly weapon, article, or representation to cause submission of the victim.

(b) (I) If a defendant is convicted of sexual assault pursuant to this subsection (5), the court shall sentence the defendant in accordance with section 18-1.3-401 (8) (e). A person convicted solely of sexual assault pursuant to this subsection (5) shall not be sentenced under the crime of violence provisions of section 18-1.3-406 (2). Any sentence for a conviction under this subsection (5) shall be consecutive to any sentence for a conviction for a crime of violence under section 18-1.3-406.

(II) The provisions of this paragraph (b) shall apply to offenses committed prior to November 1, 1998.

I was date raped in 1968 and did not know what had happened in the legal sense until 1983.

I did talk about it with my girl friends and found out we knew of 6 other girls who had the same experience with the same young man who was about 22-24 years old. All the girls were 18-20. It must have been his idea of a one night stand.

I think that there are many of us women that fall in this category. And it's a real hard place to find ourselves. When you have no control over what the person is doing... and especially if you never started "anything" in the first place. All I can say is, THANK GOD for my parents and closest friends who got me through that. It was traumatic... but it's something that we can overcome. Never forget... but move on.

If something like this happens to you... no matter if you're a boy or a girl... PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE call someone immediately and have it taken care of. Go to a hospital and have them use the rape kit to get all the possible evidence they can, and don't allow yourself to be scared of the person who has done this to you. GET HELP!!!

what's up with 2 sloppy drunk ppl having sex and the guy catching rape charges? i've seen this happen, how is this legal?

What's up with you saying that we were drunk? That is, I'm assuming what you're saying. If not, make it clear. I was stone cold sober.

Neither was I....just made the mistake to get into his car

no, i'm saying that i know of a guy who was drunk at a party with a girl that was drunk, they had drunken sex, and he is currently serving time in correctional custody (the airforce version of jail) because she said he used alcohol to coerce her. is that what you mean by some men didn't know they commintted rape? and don't think that what they did was rape? because that's not rape... it's the justice system being unfair. what do you think?

I think that if two people are drunk, and they have sex... the woman REALLY needs to look at what she did (talking about the drinking here) before pressing charges. Did he intentionally get her drunk? Did she have any say in the drinks? Were they "spiked" with something? If she went out, got herself drunk and had sex... that's really her own fault.

this is the gray are in the law...and I'm sure there are cases where the guy should not be in jail.

In Colorado a rape occurs if: The actor (rapist) knows that the victim is incapable of appraising the nature of the victim's conduct;


So if a guy and a girl go to a bar and the girl gets pretty drunk and they leave, do some heavy petting in the car and the girl may attempt to say no but is not fighting back, and they have sex...the guy could be found guilty of rape, in colorado, I don't know about other states. The idea is that the woman was not capable of giving consent due to her being drunk.

So it's best not to have sex with a drunk woman...what sense is there in doing that any?

Kobe picked the wrong state to have an affair, that's for sure.

The whole issue of rape is slanted far in favor of the woman as victim. The way things are now, a woman can suddenly change her mind from thinking what had already happened was consensual to non-consensual, even if it happened in the past, and have the right to press charges. This only makes a victim out of the man, where she in fact was not a victim.

If in retrospect a woman views the intimacy unfavourably, as Kobe's accuser did, she could press for rape. Notice it took her until she cleaned herself up in his bathroom for 5 minutes, went downstairs and finished her shift, before reporting it to the bellboy. This implies she made a decision it was "rape" in retrospect. Was she weighing her possible profits from such an accusation?

The law needs to be changed so that the right to accuse sexual assault is more restrictive and balances the right of the accused.

Furthermore, don't pay too much attention to the stats posted by the first poster. These stats are based on studies and evidence collected on a flawed justice system that views the accusation of sexual assault under the presumption of truth, and gives too much leeway and vagueness for an act to be a sexual assault. So of course the statistics are shocking... 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted. Use your common sense... there is no way that is true. If that were the case, society would cease to function.

If 42% of the victims didn't tell ANYONE about their assault, how can they be figured into the statistics? How can anyone know they exist? I get a little tired of these statistcs that have a substantial number of fictitious victims.

1 out of 4 women are raped? If you remove the fictitious victims, then it's about 1 out of 7. Even that I find hard to believe, based on the women I know.

Hey Helen your ONLY mistake (according to your own post) was getting in his car) yet you use the terms " date rape" & "legal sense" (excuse me but if you were raped you would definitely know it in the "physical & emotional sense")

Redefining the parameters of what constitutes rape in a way that is patently unfair to men and encourages women to push the envelope while creatively redefining rape is sexist, bigoted, and a financial, moral, and mental raping of men as a group.

So were you on a date with him? or hitchhiking and he picked you up?

why not stress that 11 out of 12 men in the statistics did NOT commit rape?

Myth #1 > How did the guy get aroused? by viewing invisible prOn while on a date with the "victim"? (no the woman helped him if he got all worked up like that.

So a woman can be so drunk she is legally not in her right mind to say no? but if a man tried to use the "I was too drunk to know what I was doing when I had sex with her against her will" defence that would be different right?

Let's start profiling men too (like they tried to do with terrorists & drug dealers) If you are a college age man especially 21 years old, know a lot of females at your school, drink moderately, date, and are capable of being aroused you should be arrested and questioned.

I could continue to rebut EVERY twisted and inflated "statistic" you have quoted but what would be the point? You should seek professional help. You are harboring a lot of latent hatred. You obviously hate men.

Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemy to die.

Final example of twisting of stats>

1) 4 out 5 of heroin addicts smoked pot before moving on to harder drugs therefore pot is a gateway and common factor among heroin addicts. (I.E. smoking pot can lead to heroin addiction)

1A) 95% of all heroin addicts drank milk as children therefore milk is a gateway and common factor among heroin addicts (I.E. drinking milk as a child can lead to heroin addiction)

Your insensitivity amazes me

i think some of what snoopy said makes plenty of sense. Two drunk people having sex isn't rape. Just because a woman regrets what happened doesn't mean the man is a criminal. A guy who ACTUALLY rapes a woman is trash, but there shouldn't be a "legal sense" so bizarre that it has to be defined seperately. As for the invisible porn statement that can go either way, I personally know women who enjoy getting men worked up and leaving them that way, if they were to get raped the man would STILL be a criminal, but i can't say that i'd feel bad for them or offer any consolation.

The original post was pure feminist propaganda. It's so ridiculous it's laughable.

I find it funny you need to be told you were raped. Were you told to be angry too?

I've gotten drunk and had sex with a drunk woman and regretted afterwards. Was I raped?

originally posted by gerbil>

Your insensitivity amazes me

So you admit you're amazed? LOL

pierceme, you were indeed raped, you should press charges immediatly.

Rape is a sensitive issue. I think that true victims of rape must be protected. However, in the zeal to protect the victims often innocent men are tried and sent to jail. Laws are written in such a way that if a woman changes her mind during the course of sex and says now, if the man doesn't stop the next second, it is considered rape. Colorado has some of the strictest laws on the books.

As for the Kobe case, I don't believe that young woman was raped with what I know. Prosecutors will stop at nothing now a days to inflate their conviction statistics. Unfortunately more times that we realize, someone innocent has to pay the price for it. The victims often aren't the victims at all but vice versa.

Surely women must be protected, but let every case stand on its merit. If it doesn't add up, then prosecutors should not prosecute. But that will never happen.

http://www.ctnow.com/media/photo/2003-07/8649995.jpg
The American media is waking up and posing lots of questions: Has a small-town prosecutor made a big-time error in pressing rape charges against one of the nation's most famous basketball stars? Many legal experts now are speaking up after Pamela Mackey representing Kobe Bryant, charged this week that Kate who accused Kobe has reportedly a history of mental illness and suicide attempts. < --- Just Click Here