Screw you McRib! - Flamers' Ward

Screw you McRib!

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Posted by: HECK!

Has anyone ever seen this processed, barbecue sauced slathered nightmare of consumption?

Behold exhibit A:

http://www.inreview.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=682713

Yes, that is bone shaped meat! There are no bones, obviously, so to make this alleged food they put the processed pork-like flavored meat in little McRib vats that are shaped to look like that. Absolutely nasty.

I worked at a McDonalds when I was in high school, briefly, and after closing I took some extra food home. Somehow a McRib found its way into the bag. No way I was eating it. So I put it on the floor for my dog to eat. He wouldn't eat it. My dog sniffed it and gave me a look like I just slapped his face. Then he went around the corner and licked his ass to get the McRib smell off of his nose.

I've eaten some wicked crap in my day but how someone actually pays money for this abomination then purposely and willfully puts it in their mouth and lets it slide down there throat has to be mentally deranged.

I bet if you had one of those trays they use to shape the McRibs in the McDonalds factory and took a dump into it after eating a few of them you could just slide it in the oven and have a brand new McRib.

Of course when getting the McRib meal you can get some french fries and that diet coke for the health nut in you.

-HECK!

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Posted by: illuminate

I'm telling my mom. She likes the McRib. You're in trouble.

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Posted by: HECK!

http://www.boomspeed.com/heck/creep.gif

-HECK!

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Posted by: illuminate

I've never actually tried it. We're not huge on McD's anymore since we lived across the street from it when I was little and we went there ALL THE F'N TIME! Why was mcd's a huge part of my generation's childhood? WHY DANGIT! And what ever happened to GOOD happy meal toys?...... but i digress.....

if i want some ribs, i'll go to Tony Romas. McRibs ain't got NUTTIN' on baby back ribs.

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Posted by: HECK!

Of course not. Real ribs versus fake processed toilet rib like meat?

Tony Romas is the shiznet. I need a big baby bib for that stuff.

-HECK!

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Posted by: illuminate

Even Chilis Ribs are McNasty. I'm all Tony Romas or bust.

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Posted by: HECK!

And after Tony Romas you will bust...

-HECK!

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Posted by: lodgebo

There are only 2 things in McDonalds I won't eat one of them is that rib thing and the other is the fish, man it just looks nasty.

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Posted by: Dekka00

I tried one of those McRibs and couldn't finish.

godawful. And they keep bringing it back too. Why???

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Posted by: illuminate

The filet-o-fish is damn good. YOU'RE MISSIN OUT!

Remember that simpsons episode where homer joins that group that follows their burger all over the place? everytime they bring the mcrib back it reminds me of that episode.

maybe i should try this MCRIB...

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Posted by: Dekka00

see, that's what I thought of when I was standing in McDonalds a year or two ago. I thought of that episode and thought "hmm maybe this thing is good"

I was terribly, terribly mistaken.

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Posted by: HECK!

Square, fried fish pieces douched with tartar sauce that comes from a caulking gun is not good. It's barely food.

-HECK!

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Posted by: Lawless

Man... I think that I need to get my crippled ass to Tony Romas, now. It's been years... but, I'm in need of their ribs!!!!













I like the McRib, and have since I was a kid!

















http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v422/lawlessone23/grfx/INReview/leia3.gif "Years ago, you served my family the greatest ribs on the planet. But, somewhere along the way, we were lost by the thought of having our food served faster, and cheaper. Now, I am lost. Help me, Tony Romas... you're my only hope!"

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Posted by: Whidden

I'v never had a McRib. Ever.

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Posted by: HECK!

You are the McRib of InReview.

-HECK!

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Posted by: Dekka00

OOHHHHH BURN!!

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Posted by: Whidden

I just got handed my ***. I have no response. I will go cry now.

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Posted by: HECK!

Sorry, didn't mean to McRib you in front of everyone. That's cold blooded.

You're more the McBLT of INR.

-HECK!

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Posted by: illuminate

UH OH... THEMS MAY BE FIGHTIN WORDS

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Posted by: HECK!

You're the extra salty fries on INR.

-HECK!

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Posted by: illuminate

you're going down

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Posted by: HECK!

With a side of Hot Mustard.

I love that Hot Mustrad, I can drink it strait up.

-HECK!

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Posted by: Whidden

I think Malcolm XX might be the Big Mac/no onions. And why did a black man serve me?!?!?!?!


Dammit!!!


5000 years of opression by the United States government and you got a black man behind the counter?!?!!?

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Posted by: HECK!

What does McDonalds do with the rib bones from the McRib and why are they trying to hide them?

-HECK!

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Posted by: HECK!

Man, look at its stats:

490 calories, 220 calories from fat, 25 g fat, 8 g saturated fat, 75 mg cholesterol, 1040 mb sodium, 44 g carbohydrates, 2 g fiber, 24 g protein, 11 g sugars.

-HECK!

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Posted by: Whidden

I really have never had one, as I eat Kosher. What gets me is they are always doing away with it, then bringing it back. The commercials suck.

If people like it, then why do away with it all the time?

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Posted by: HECK!

It's a stupid marketing ploy. When it was first on the menu full time it tanked, to they brought it back in spurts and make it a big deal. They have to make more money in its limited release than they would if it was on the menu all the time.

-HECK!

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Posted by: Whidden

Seems like they would tank it, and come up with a sandwich that everyone liked.

Those office types confuse my Midwestern value system. Must be cause dey is educated in some fancy college.

***Whidden seethes with class envy***

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Posted by: HECK!

When I worked there they had this new sandwich called the Arch Deluxe. It was the best thing ever. I would smash a few of those each day. Probably why I gained 15 pounds in a year working there. Ugh. But it was worth it. Plus shedding fast food weight is easy when you stop eating the crap.

http://www.inreview.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=683016

-HECK!

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Posted by: Whidden

I worked at Church's Fried Chicken. So I was slamming fried chicken for 2 years. Man that sucked. Pretty much the worst job I ever had.

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Posted by: illuminate

quote:
HECK! said this in post #29 :
When I worked there they had this new sandwich called the Arch Deluxe. It was the best thing ever. I would smash a few of those each day. Probably why I gained 15 pounds in a year working there. Ugh. But it was worth it. Plus shedding fast food weight is easy when you stop eating the crap.

[img]http://www.inreview.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=683016[/img]

-HECK!


That looks like it has thousand island dressing? I thought you were anti-T.I.D? I SMELL A CONSPIRACY!

And... i'm afraid to ask what the nutritional facts are for mr. mac. Mr. BIG mac, that is. Now THAT'S a delicious sammich.

Does anyone remember those commercials back in the days with the guy with the freakishly large moon head and shades? that guy freaked me out. I still have nightmares....

Or when McDs had that promotion where you buy one of those little records (yeah, it's THAT old) where people are singing the big mac song and if YOUR record is the one where they sing it CORRECTLY ALL THE WAY THROUGH, you win money or something? Apparently, I lived in McDs when I was little.
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Posted by: HECK!

It wasn't thousand island dressing, it was something else.

Mac Tonight was the bomb. I remember that record promotion. Never played it because I didn't know how to play a record. To this day I never have. Screw records like the McRib.

-HECK!

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Posted by: illuminate

what?

we still have records. i love records. You know, i had a friend in college who was a dj and when he found out that I had the original Thriller on vinyl, he flipped. He offered me money for it. Sadly, it's my pop's so no go, but WHAT? WHY? I'M SURE IT'S EVERYWHERE! lame.

We have some oldies but goodies on vinyl. they rock!

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Posted by: Whidden

I had all kinds of records, but I don't have any of them anymore. Left them all in Florida and my stepmom threw them away.

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Posted by: HECK!

Records are for the hippies. Just like McRib's. It's all cyclical. Like a record. And like the toilet flushing the turd from a McRib.

Oh my science, it is all connected!

-HECK!

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Posted by: Whidden

My mind never went there. A turd produced by a McRib. A disgusting concept indeed.


As for records: Don't let the propaganda artists fool you. They sucked. They sounded awful. The audio purists claim it was better, but they was scratchy and inconvenient. Had to change out those damn needles all the time. Bogus invention.

What I do miss is the Album covers, the art of it, the size of it. I posted in the cars forum, my old zz top album. Having those full sized album covers was awesome with a capital A. I wish I still had mine.

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Posted by: HECK!

I can't imagine a world where you had to navigate a needle to a different part of the album to here a song in the middle. I needs me the skip button.

I get the nostalgia about records. The covers do look cool. There is a picture of me as a kid somewhere holding Michael Jackson's Thriller.

-HECK!

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Posted by: Whidden

I, er, actually owned that album myself.

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Posted by: HECK!

Hey, it was a cool album, no denying that. At the time you had to own it.

-HECK!

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Posted by: HECK!

So like, fast food pork is just nasty to begin with. I can deal with the hamburgers, chicken, even fish... but pork has no business in a fast food joint.

It should be banned from the universe forever.

But notice the clever name: McRib. It's not 'McRibS'. Since it's all processed pork meat put together to look like a small set of babybacks it is technically one rib.

As a matter of fact, there's nothing even saying the meat actually came from the rib. It could be pig wang for all we know. It just says pork.

Man, I think I just blew this case wide open.

-HECK!

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Posted by: Whidden

Your investigation skills are legendary. McDonald's corporate will be knocking on your door soon my friend, with some hush money.


My advice is to take the money, then still blow the case wide open. Sock it too them twice. The greedy bastards.

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Posted by: Lawless

PIG WANG?




I'm not ever eating another McRib again.

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Posted by: fuscia

The McRib isn't even real meat! It is some crazy formed rib. Freakin' McDonalds

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Posted by: Invisible

McRib Ingredients McRib Patty: Boneless pork (Pork, water, salt, dextrose, citric acid, BHA, TBHQ). McRib Bun: Flour (wheat flour bleached and enriched with thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, iron, folic acid, malted barley flour), water, high fructose corn syrup, yeast, vegetable oil (partially hydrogenated soybean oil, cottonseed oil). Contains 2 percent or less of dextrose, fumaric acid, calcium sulphate, salt, acetic acid, soy flour, monocalcium phosphate, ammonium sulphate, cornstarch, fungal protease, natural culture, ammonium chloride, ascorbic acid, azodicarbomide, mono- and diglycerides, propionic acid, phosphoric acid, corn flour, calcium peroxide, calcium propionate, dicetyl tartaric acid esters of mono- and diglycerides, ethoxylated mono- and diglycerides. McRib Sauce: Water, high fructose corn syrup, tomato paste, distilled vinegar, molasses, natural smoke flavor, modified food starch, salt, sugar, soybean oil, spices, onion*, mustard flour, garlic *, xanthan gum, caramel color, sodium benzoate (preservative), natural flavor (vegetable source), corn oil. *Dehydrated Pickle Slices Cucumbers, water, vinegar, salt, calcium chloride, alum, natural flavorings (vegetable source), polysorbate 80, turmeric (color). Slivered Onions Allergens: Wheat, Soybean Food Sensitivities: Gluten

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Posted by: HECK!

Yeah, just boneless pork. Could come from anywhere on the pig. As a matter of fact it could just be one whole pig grounded up in a giant grinder then it is put in a vat like a pig milk shake and boiled. Then the piggy silly putty is taken out and put in the rib bone shaped tray and slathered with the sauce as beasty McDonalds factory workers run their gloveless finger over it and taste it.

Screw you McRib!

-HECK!

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Posted by: Ollie23

I only eat Wendy's, its the best fast food there is. You can eat relatively healthy and super cheap. I always order chili and a frosty from their super value menu. There is no comparison. Wendy's is awesome!

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Posted by: illuminate

i'm all in n out.
Carl's Jr. is second.
del taco is third
Then maybe jack in the box
perhaps wendys
then burger kind
never mcdonalds or arbys
did i miss any?

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Posted by: Whidden

arbys?

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Posted by: HECK!

Dude, you don't have Arby's where you live? For shame.

Wendy's is alright. The square meat freaks me out. Back in high school when me and the peeps would walk on air the Wendy's frosty was like heaven on Earth.

In & Out is the best, easily.
Jack In The Box
Del Taco
Carl's Jr
Arby's

-HECK!

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Posted by: Whidden

yeah, we got arby's. I didn't see it in her post on the bad list, I got confused etc.


I used to be into Arby's sampler baskets.

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Posted by: illuminate

I just puked in my mouth. WHY WOULD ANYONE EAT ARBYS?
I'd rather eat a chili dog from weinerschnitzl than arbys. ewww. eww. ewwww.

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Posted by: HECK!

You are insane. Those beef burger deals with the melted cheddar cheese. Man. I know people that I would gladly never talk to again if I could have just one of those sandwiches.

-HECK!

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Posted by: Whidden

Arby's has lots of good fried stuff, like cheese sticks, peppers, onion petals, chicken tenders.

and the Rueben aint bad. They are too expensive, but the food is ok. And they don't serve no el fako porko mcrib, so that's a positive.

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Posted by: Whidden

quote:
Ollie23 said this in post #46 :
I only eat Wendy's, its the best fast food there is. You can eat relatively healthy and super cheap. I always order chili and a frosty from their super value menu. There is no comparison. Wendy's is awesome!


I like Wendy's chili.
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Posted by: HECK!

quote:
Whidden said this in post #53 :
Arby's has lots of good fried stuff, like cheese sticks, peppers, onion petals, chicken tenders.

and the Rueben aint bad. They are too expensive, but the food is ok. And they don't serve no el fako porko mcrib, so that's a positive.


It is a little pricier than most fast food places. I can dig it though.

And there food is in natural shapes. Not ungodly faux meat shapes.

-HECK!
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Posted by: HECK!

quote:
Ollie23 said this in post #46 :
I only eat Wendy's, its the best fast food there is. You can eat relatively healthy and super cheap. I always order chili and a frosty from their super value menu. There is no comparison. Wendy's is awesome!


Wendy's is dope, but it's funny that you talk about the healthy choices then mention the chili and frosty... just sayin.

-HECK!
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Posted by: HECK!

If you google the phrase Screw You McRib this thread is the first thing that pops up. Also if you google Screw The McRib or Screw McRib.

I rule.

-HECK!

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Posted by: Whidden

Impressive, most impressive.

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Posted by: fuscia

so Heck is now famous for wanting to screw the McRib.

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Posted by: Lawless

Yeah... someone better inform illuminate about this. She might want to reconsider going out in public with him this weekend.

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Posted by: fuscia

Maybe that is why the McRib is only out for a short time. See dang McRib pervs like Heck ruin it for the rest of the country.

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Posted by: Lawless

He's ruined it for me.... that is a fact. I can't eat a McRib now, because of him, and this damn thread. I think that I should sue him, for doing this. Ruining the appetites of innocent, unsuspecting people.

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Posted by: fuscia

If I were Dave, I'd be stocking up on untainted Haguarter Punders with scheese before Heck finds out about them.

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Posted by: Lawless

I agree... because he will be all over those next, and ruining it for our salty beer bro.

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Posted by: fuscia

Yep he will be getting two big punders at a time, you know how Heck loves a big pair and then it is all debotchery from there.

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Posted by: illuminate

quote:
Lawless said this in post #60 :
Yeah... someone better inform illuminate about this. She might want to reconsider going out in public with him this weekend.


Uh THIS WEEKEND? try ANY weekend

Heck, you're a pervo.

Leave my BIG MACS alone.

......

that sounded funny when I read it back.
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Posted by: HECK!

Hey, it's my job to tell the cold hard facts about the nasty ball of porky goo better known as the McRib. I spread the paint of truth across this murky canvas in hopes that the McRib will not creep through the colon of another unsuspecting fast food fanatic.

-HECK!

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Posted by: Ollie23

quote:
HECK! said this in post #56 :


Wendy's is dope, but it's funny that you talk about the healthy choices then mention the chili and frosty... just sayin.

-HECK!


Hey its a healthy balance. One good and one bad
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