Police: Nude man hides awl in buttocks |
| Posted by: HECK! | | Police: Nude man hides awl in buttocks
EL CERRITO, Calif. - A naked man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after telling police he had a screwdriver in his buttocks. The man was lying on a tree stump masturbating beside a nature path near the El Cerrito Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.
John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked if he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.
"You can't get much more concealed than that," Horgan said.
Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene, but Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident.
Sheehan, who was paroled from state prison last week, was then booked into the county jail in Martinez on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon.
"When you're talking about an awl or an ice pick and you're dealing with somebody who's fresh out of prison, it's a weapon. That's a stabbing instrument," Horgan said.
He noted that the rear end is a common hiding place for weapons being smuggled into prison.
It was not immediately clear what Sheehan was on parole for.
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-HECK! | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: mystic | | My goodness...
How long was this guy in jail that he felt that in the real world he still had to hide things in his orifice? And especially a tool with a sharp point?
Yyyyouch! | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: gaboman | | wait, wait, wait....
Let me recap.
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| A naked man ... was lying on a tree stump masturbating beside a nature path ... (and) was ... arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. |
Su.... suspicion? | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: HECK! | | Yeah, so he doesn't sue or something. You have to say alleged. He could go to court and say he had a thong on then get a million bucks.
On a treestump rubbing one out with an awl up your pooper. You can't make that up.
-HECK! | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: gaboman | | But he was arrested for indecent exposure, therefore they should say he was allegedly sitting on the tree, blah blah blah, and then arrested... But saying what he was arrested for is cool.
You see my point? Ah this crap is dumb, no matter what. He was just trying to get his nut off in the privacy of a public nature park. What's wrong with that? | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: HECK! | | Dunno, maybe the stupid pigs were anti-spank around those parts.
They should have tasered his bung.
-HECK! | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: lickety_split | | HECK you have a talent for finding this stuff, don't ya? Damn....too funny.
Make an "Offbeat News" thread so I can find them easier. 
(seriously...) | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: gaboman | | I personally prefer this stuff to have separate threads. A forum for it may be an idea though. | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: lickety_split | |
| quote: |
gaboman said this in post #10 :
I personally prefer this stuff to have separate threads. A forum for it may be an idea though. |
Yes, that's what I meant.
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| Posted by: Nymphadora | |
| quote: |
HECK! said this in post #5 :
On a treestump rubbing one out with an awl up your pooper. You can't make that up.
-HECK! |
I was answering the phone when I read that. I'm sure the people onthe other end are convinced I'm a complete nut , not very professional.
Well, since the guy was caught masterbating I'm sure he could argue that the awl wasnt being used as a weapon you know what i'm sayin.
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| Posted by: lickety_split | |
| quote: |
Nymphadora said this in post #12 :
I was answering the phone when I read that. I'm sure the people onthe other end are convinced I'm a complete nut , not very professional.
Well, since the guy was caught masterbating I'm sure he could argue that the awl wasnt being used as a weapon you know what i'm sayin. |
The prosecution could argue it was a weapon. A weapon of a$$ destruction.
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| Posted by: HECK! | |
| quote: |
lickety_split said this in post #13 :
The prosecution could argue it was a weapon. A weapon of a$$ destruction. |
Okay, that is the best yet.
I am going to borrow that now 
-HECK!
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