Women and Women's Magazines

Flamers' Ward Forum

i like armpit hair

I hardly ever read women's magazines. I find them really boring and filled with a lot of stupid articles.

Gaboman, if there was a way I could possibly agree with you more I would... but I can't. You have driven the nail of truth through the 4x4 of life.

Oprah. That beast. Her cult-life following has failed to realize that if she was any more of a commercial whore she would be getting filled out like an application by Tony The Tiger on top of a Jeff Gordon's #24 DuPont Chevrolet while doing a infomercial for a Bedazzler. All those 'prizes' she gives away in lieu of her mind numbing celebrity gabfests or self-serving book club nods are simply mini-commercials in her already bloated show. The woman is associated with more crap than flies are. And all those soccer mom's and young professionals who lose their freakin' mind on her show when they get a foot massager need a dose of reality and a Stedman sized boot to the jaw.

As for the Skirt Mags, where to begin. Those quiz's are nothing more than man-hating trite that make women think that no matter what in life there's always something to b*tch about. There's always something wrong. There's always something better that you don't have. You don't know what it is, but you want it.

You want to know why there hasn't been a female president? Because men don't get life lessons from a f'n magazine at the checkout isle. We read Playboy, tell the jokes and are done with it. You want to be fat, skinny, whatever, do it and be happy. Seeking empowering validation from Cosmo or Vogue only lasts until the next issue. If you didn't buy it... they wouldn't print it.

-HECK!

I don't read women's magazines. I find them to be really silly. How many ways can there be to give a man an "o". Honestly, Cosmo does a cover with it almost every month - yes I read the covers of all the mags while waiting at the check out stand.

Some of the stuff women get from these mags is hilarious.

Like "hey, I've got this piece of ice. The mag said if I put it in my mouth and..."

"Stop right there... I'm telling you, if you put that piece of ice anywhere near me I'm not responsible for the consequences."

Why can't these magazines just teach women a few universal truths:

1.) Don't talk to us during the game. You may bring us a beer or snack, but you have to be quiet. Go out with your friends, see a movie, fly a kite if you have to.

2.) We never, ever want to cuddle. Don't expect it.

3.) Even if we thought you looked fat in that shirt/dress/anything, do you really think we would tell you?

4.) We hate plays, opera and chick flicks. Period.

5.) When you complain, whine or nag you sound like our mother. Don't do that.

And there are more to come...

-HECK!

Gotta disagree with number four. I know lots and lots of guys who love the theater and a couple who enjoy chick flicks.

gay. yup.

Hey, my cheeser post was thought provoking! Yeah me!




In my VAST experience, "in general", women are more self doubting, and need verbal or written back up. More emotional, they require someone else to write or explain this gobblygook that men take for granted.


Yeah, yeah, it's general terms and there are always exceptions, lot of strong women out there. And being emotional is not a bad thing anyway, emotions are good. If chicks acted like dudes, life would be pretty crappy.

These magazines talk a lot of trash, but the women folk eat it up. If they didn't like it, it wouldn't sell. Mags sell what people want to read.

Sure, the truth might be like was said up top here in the thread, that to keep a man, you need to quit griping at him for his every move,

but that aint sexy, and women don't want to hear it. They would rather hear how if they dress in a slinky dress and know the erogenous zones, they can keep Dey Man. So, in a way, the mags are telling the chicks what they want to hear.

Case in point, women will complain about how the mags have all these supermodels in them, and no real fat ugly chicks like they are, and they whine and complain, but when the mags or shows come out with fat ugly plain women, no one buys that stuff. Women do want to see skinny good looking women in the mags, they just don't admit it.

You ever read a womans mag? I have read some of Sandy Junes, they are full of half nekkid supermodels in the ads. You would think they were a mens mag. Funny how men and women both want to look at women.

If you tried to make a womans' mag with the truth in it, that men hate griping whiney women, that some men are *******'s but some men are capable of love and settling down with a woman, and show them pics of frumpy real life house wives, that sucker would tank like the Exxon Valdeez.

Which reminds me of another point. Whenever fellows write into these chick magazines, they always get blasted. There was one the other day "my girlfriend got mad because I look at porn sometimes, what should I do?" The person responding was like "do everything your girlfriend says, no matter what." No suggestion that you should talk about this issue. Some dudes like porn, so perhaps they can share it or whatever. Or else just talk about the issue, and tell your ditzy girlfriend that his porn fixation has nothing to do with her stomach rolls or triple chin, or the fact that those chicks in the dirty movies do things that she doesn't.... it's just the way it is.

I was seeing this chick, and she didn't like the fact that I looked at porn.

I was like, hey, I'm bored, I'm gonna look at some porn.




Then, one day, I was looking at some internet porn, and I saw her and my dad.
Not cool.

I gouged my eyes out, and took an oath of celibacy.

So, what man, you got some kind of brail computer keyboard? That's cool, I think you are cooler now that I know you are handicapped.


Ye poor blind *******.

Blind people are another group I take issue with, but I'll leave their Toast for a later date.

Here's another one that pisses me off, and it's gonna get me into a lot of trouble because people'll no doubt misunderstand who I'm trying to fry here. What's with the women who always go on about such and such being so brave for having breast cancer? What's the deal with that? If I remember, bravery is more like doing something you don't need to do, but going at it anyway. Particularly if you do it to save someone else's life, for, like, unselfish reasons... that's what it should be. Not getting a disease and just living day by day. That's just something you gotta put up with.

I say this at great risk to my reputation, of course, because a lot of women look upon me as their role model (hahahaha... ah...), so I have to say I don't mean to belittle cancer sufferer's pain; that's not at all my intent. I'm talking about those women who raise these poor people into hero status for having cancer. It's like "she survived breast cancer, how brave!" But you wonder if they run around to women who have died of breast cancer and taunt them in their graves...

And if all that doesn't bring you around to my way of thinking, ask yourself: when the last time you heard someone call a dude who battled prostate cancer "brave"?

Women complain about having to do the childbirth thing, then afterward say how happy and lucky they are to have such a special experience. Whatever ladies, go ahead and have fun with that. The only reason you say it's so special afterward is because it sucked so bad and us fella's don't have to do it. It's all you, rock n' roll with that.

-HECK!

You woman.

I had to pretend I liked The Notebook.

At least Rachel McHotAdams was in it. I would sure Rachel her McAdams

-HECK!

Yeah, me too. And I'd have sex with her while I'm at it.

Can you smell the testosterone flowing through the thread?

HECK! I know you will never get the childbirth thing. Hell I had two c-sections and had my kids the way it was intended- numb from the chest down. Still, there is something really cool about talking to your unborn child and having them recognize your voice when they get here. It's a parent thing.

I've found every woman's ideal Cosmo companion magazine for men.

http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/6010/showlettertb0.jpg

Oh, women, if only you could be so lucky.

"Coping with the loss of your friends..."

Let me take a moment to introduce one of my favorite lines... "that'll be the day."

-HECK!

And with that said, you might want to read "10 new ways to sleep on the couch."

My next favorite quote... "don't threaten me with a good time."

-HECK!

oh man, that dude is doing dishes. No way!

I think he is actually hanging his head in shame in that picture.

I love "Be your own boss when she's not around"

haha i'm looking at a cosmo right now. I'll admit it i read cosmo but let me tell you why.....I'm still waiting for them to tell me something I don't know. The crap is either the same crap they dished the m onth before or something that is totally common sence or something that is completly retarded. I should totally write a magizine.

But aparently I'm a completly abnormal female. I don't nag, I watch more porn than my bf does and if I don't get some atleast 4 times a week i get cranky. If it was up to me it'd be everyday but you cant always have it your way right.

anyway now in the back of the cosmos they have a section called cosmo men.
heres a comment from "what he worries about when your both naked."

"If I forget to remove my watch or necklace, I feel ridiclous because these items draw attention to how naked the rest of me is."


WTF? My big thing is the socks. It kills me in the porn when you gots the people bucked naked except some dude goin at it with nothing on but his socks pulled up to his knees.

how about nothing but a wool hat with the fuzzy ball on top ahhahahha