A second plane crashes on the island!

Lost - Season Two Forum

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bilyboy.jpgBILL O'REILLY- Next up on the factor will be special correspondent Geraldo. He is on board the plane after having just left the summit to end world poverty in Sydney.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO- Bill can you hear me?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bilyboy.jpgBILL- Yes Geraldo but remember this is a no spin zone..

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO- ha ha ha. Right you are Bill. Well I am here on the plane after attending a fabulous summit to end world poverty. So many of Hollywoods greatest stars turned out to participate. Jennifer Anniston is in first class but sadly I am further back in the plane. Fox didn't spring for a first class seat for me, so what is a reporter to do? ha ha ha .


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bilyboy.jpgBILL- Geraldo the factor moves quickly, so can you please tell our viewers what you have discovered?.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO- Oh Bill guess who sat down next to me? Paula Abdul, judge of American Idol. Paula how did you think the summit went?.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPAULA- Can you take your hand off my leg? .

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO- ha ha ha.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPAULA- it was so beautiful and moving. Everyone looked just amazing..

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bilyboy.jpgBILL- That doesn't tell me what happend at the summit. Trust me Geraldo, you don't want a lawsuit for harrassment. .

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO- We heard a most moving speech from Brad Pitt about the plight of the famine victims in Africa....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPAULA- still on my leg. .

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO- totally an accident Paula. I thought you would want me to move it "straight up". a ha ha ha. Well as I was saying. whoops. We are having a bit of a rough flight..

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPAULA- stewardess can I get a burbon? Geraldo, that is my thigh, remove it please. Stewardess, make it a double..

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO- ha ha ha well Bill it was just a moving night and


wait .....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bilyboy.jpgBILL- Geraldo are you there?.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO- *whispers just chug it Paula. YES BILL, I'M STILL HERE .

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPAULA- serimously get your hand off my leg *hic and off my burbon *hic You're worse than Simon during amoditshones.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO-The fastent seatbelts sign has lit up. It appears that we are ..... turbulence.....

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bilyboy.jpgBILL- can we have the techs try to boost the signal? I can't make out what he is saying..

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO- Oh my God it appears we have lost control of the plane. We are going down. The oxygen masks are out and remember you heard it on Fox news and the .

(huge metal ripping sound)
ahhhhhhhhhgggggggggggggggggg......

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bilyboy.jpgBILL- Geraldo? Geraldo? Folks it appears that a tragedy has befallen the passengers of this flight. This is a no spin zone, so I am not going to lie to you. I think that an inquiry needs to be done about airline safety. Please stay tuned to Fox news for exclusive details of the emergency.

The plane crashed on the other side of the LOST island. These clueless celebrities have no idea where they are or that anyone else is on the island.

You may- pick celebrities to play

You must- Start each line of Dialog with the name in caps like this:

PAULA- where is my drink

GERALDO- I've got your drink baby!



have fun

Smoldering wrechage fills the beach of this unknown island. People slowly start to emmerge from the wreck.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO Oh thank God my cameraman survived. Bob get up and get this on tape. a hem o.k. and shoot

This is Geraldo Rivera. Behind me is the undenable tragedy of giagantic proportions. Most of Hollywoods most beautiful people were on that plane. I've seen gore and tragedy in Iraq and Afghanistan, and I am numb from the sene behind me.

*walks around and spots a leg sticking out from underneath a row of seats.

I know that leg!

*heaves off the seats.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have just singlehandedly rescued Paula Abdul.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPAULA oooooo

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO Paula baby speak to me?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPAULA what happened? where are we?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO we crashed.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPAULA but I wasn't even driving?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO Oh my God, she has a brain injury!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/Cameraman.jpgBob the carmea dude dude she's just drunk

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO Are you sure?

*camera bobs up and down

Cut tape Bob.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/tomyyboy.jpgTOM CRUISE oh my head hurts. I'm bleeding. Wait! I can heal! I'm not hurt. I feel no pain. Surviving the plane crash is a miracle. I must have reached a new level of Scientology.

*runs around and jumps up and down on the sand.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paris_hilton093.jpg
Paris: Like wow. Ok. Alright. I think the plane crashed.





http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/ananichole.jpg
Ana: eaheaheaheehaaaawwwwwaawwwwwwwaaaa......






http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint: Lets build a fire, do something constructive, search for water, build a fort, I think I see some things in the crash remains that could help us.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paris_hilton093.jpg
Paris: I hope we get rescued soon, I have a shoe show in Madrid and like this sun is already sooooo hot, it's really hard on my skin.





http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/ananichole.jpg
Ana: eaheaheaheehaaaawwwwwaawwwwwwwaaaa......oh wow, eaheaheaheehaaaawwwwwaawwwwwwwaaaa......






http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint: I will use this wheel bearing and this blown rod and hammer us a side peg for a lean too base, until we can get something more solid up. You there with the dog, get some small long sticks, not to thick, and about 4 feet longs, tree branches will do nicely, we will get some old luggage bags on top of that and get a fast shelter up, and then....



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paris_hilton093.jpg
Paris: Like wow, I thought I saw a fish jump out there. It was shiny on it's fins when the water sparkled off of it. So pretty.





http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/ananichole.jpg
Ana: eaheaheaheehaaaawwwwwaawwwwwwwaaaa......eaheaheaheehaaaawwwwwaawwwwwwwaaaa......It's been seven years since I've had sex. (lears at Clint)







http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint: You girls alright? You hit your heads in the crash? You all are acting a little goofy. Maybe you should sit down on that log, get a load off, get some air, calm down.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paris_hilton093.jpg
Paris: I'v seen you on T.V., you are that old cowboy guy with the guns and the old wrinkle look and stuff. Thats HOT.





http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/ananichole.jpg
Ana: It's very expensive to be me. It's terrible the things I have to do to be me. eaheaheaheehaaaawwwwwaawwwwwwwaaaa......the log is dirrrrrrrrty. ewwwwwwwwwwww. the log is so dirrrrrrrrrrrrty. I can't sit on that. I don't drink as much as I use to could.






http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint: I'm going to go see if there was a doctor in the crash, you girls are messed up. You two stay right here and I will see if I can get you some help. Just sit on that log, and think happy thoughts.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bradpitt.jpgBrad Pitt: What in the hell happened to the plane? I wonder if there are any orphaned children from the crash. I better go and check, and see what I can do to take care of them. Angie will love a few more children, especially if they are needy.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/jennifer20aniston20lonely.jpgJennifer Aniston: He hasn't even been away from that twit, Angelina, for more than 24 hours, and he's already trying to round up more children for their stupid family. I've got better things to do.

*sees Geraldo, and his camera man off in the distance*

Oh Geraldo... Geraldo... I'll give you and exclusive.

*sees Geraldo with a passed out Paula Abdul*

What are you doing, Geraldo? I want to give you a personal exclusive.... the truth about why Brad and I split.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO oh wow, it's Jennifer Anniston! Roll Tape Bob!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/Cameraman.jpgBOB *nodds head

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgJenn you look fabulous! I was so thirsty and Paula had a flask with her. I was just resting here in the sun.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPaula he felt me up . Made me miss Simon

*steps over Paula

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO Jenn do tell our audience why Brad left you? How could he leave such a beautiful woman?

*puts hand on her knee

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/tomyyboy.jpgTOM *stands on top of the smoking remains of the plane.

I survived! I AM A GOD! *giggles like a maniac

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGeraldo Pay no attention to Tom Cruise. He jumped the shark long before we crashed on this island. Talk to me Jenn.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/jennifer20aniston20lonely.jpgJennifer Oh stuff it, Paula. You're nothing but a dried out, has-been, singer (if you can call what you did, twenty years ago, singing). Don't you have another bottle to drown yourself in?

*looks at Geraldo and smiles*

Now, where was I? Oh yes... the truth about me and Brad. Well, I know what everyone is thinking... Brad left me, because I didn't want children. Well, that's NOT true. The truth of it is that he has never even TRIED to have children. Him and that Tom Cruise-a-long friend of his... they are both bumper buddies, if you know what I mean... and have moved on, to other women, to make it LOOK like they are straight. But, they aren't. Do you THINK that it's a coinsidence that they were both on this plane, together? No, I don't think so.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGeraldo *brushes down his moustache with his hand.

Oh Jenn, I always knew I was the only real man on the plane. You are too good for him. You are a goddess, let me worship at your feet. You do have very attractive feet you know.

*looks up

Damn it Bob cut tape!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/Cameraman.jpgBob *mumbles his viagra supply will run out in a few days, thank goodness

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/jennifer20aniston20lonely.jpgJennifer Geraldo, are you flirting with me? You know, I've needed a realy man *walks over to him, and runs a finger down his chest* for years. Can you point me to one?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGeraldo oh I can point my dear.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/tomyyboy.jpgTom Jenn! What are you doing over here? Are you hurt? I can heal you know.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPaula Tom you just look beautiful. Keep being you. I love you just as you are.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/georgecarlin.jpgGeorge Carlin what the hell are you ladies doing with Skippy the Couch freak and Mr. Capotes Failure? You two guys grow a pair and go get some wood for a fire. Freakin' pansy boys.

Paula you haul your sweet buns over here and give me some of what you are drinking. Jenn, you just stay there and look pretty.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bradpitt.jpgBrad: Tom, I have something that needs healing... and you're just the man I've had in mind for that 'repair' job.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/jennifer20aniston20lonely.jpgJenn: SEE? I told you! They can't even stop after we've crashed on some island, who knows where. How in the hell will I get my latte now? Someone better get that espresso machine, up and running, or there will be hell to pay.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bradpitt.jpgBrad: Knock the crap off, Jenn. Espresso machine, on a deserted island? I knew that you had no brains, but I just throught that was because your face was always planted in some pie. What's your excuse now?


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/jennifer20aniston20lonely.jpgJenn: Bradley, you're walking a fine line, mister... and it's not a straight one. Why don't you go play doctor with that scientologist freak. After all, that's what you said you were doing when I came home early from my filming, and found you two in the bedroom. OUR bedroom!


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/rosie.jpgRosie O'Donnell: Oh my god.... Tommy and Brad?! My sweet Tommy, and that delicious Brad, are knocking the boots? I knew it... that's why I couldn't get Tommy to stay the night with me after he was on my show.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/jennifer20aniston20lonely.jpgJenn: Rosie, here's a donut... go eat it, and shut up.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPAULA help!!!!!!!! Anna Nicole is stealing my booze! Those are my bottles! I took them out of the plane. So help me I will deflate your silicones if you touch that mini-bar!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGeraldo oooo me likes it when the ladies fight.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/tomyyboy.jpgTOM Brad let's go look for some wood for the fire.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/georgecarlin.jpgGeorge Rosie I'll give you my donut if they come back with anything other than two stupid smiles on their faces

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bradpitt.jpgBrad: Oh Tom, I think that there is a lot of wood out there to be found. Let's go... this could take awile.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/rosie.jpgRosie: Thanks for the offer *finishes stuffing the donut from Jenn in her mouth* but I think that we know that there will be no fire tonight if we leave it up to those boys.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/jennifer20aniston20lonely.jpgJenn: I told you... and now *she looks around in the 360* Oh my... who's that handsome man over there... he almost looks like a pirate. *drool*

*seeing Paula and Anna Nicole fight over a bottle of vodka

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/cesardog.jpgCaesar the Dog Whsiperer Tssst! *hits paula and ana with a pressure point kick.

Paula you can not let her get away with taking your stuff. You must assert your dominance. Show her who is in control. Don't make eye contact with her. You must be in control.

* Tssst! smacks Ana
Like this now you try


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGeraldo yeah Paula show her who is dominant!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/cesardog.jpgCaesar the Dog Whisperer Don't let her rip your blouse Paula! Be dominant.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGeraldo shut up Caesar!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/johnedwards.jpgJohn Edwards (famous man who sees and talks to the deceased)

Look at all these dead people.. they are everywhere. There's Martha Stewart, Ellen Degeneres, Simon Cowell, Star Jones, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise..... OMG, they are doing... errrrrrrrrrrrrr, each other... and there's Jennifer Aniston, and who is that man with the pirate get up? My god... when did all these people die?




http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/rosie.jpgRosie: John, were you on that plane too?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/johnedwards.jpgJohn: Plane? What plane? I was just sleeping, and dreaming about polar bears on a tropical island, and then, I saw all of these famous people, all over the island. Wait a minute.... this is my dream. What in the world are you talking to me?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/georgecarlin.jpgGeorge Carlin Oh great, Mr. I talk to the dead guy is here. Well buddy you can talk to this! *grabs old parts

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/cesardog.jpgCaesar the Dog Whisperer See Paula, now that is a sign of dominance that George jus did.

*points

Look over there in the woods too. You can see that Brad is showing his dominance over Tom.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/jennifer20aniston20lonely.jpgJennifer: Why it's Johnny Depp. What a handsome, and rugged, pirate you are!!! Take me, into the deep parts of this island, and show me how a real man survives the hidden terrors of the unknown.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bradpitt.jpgBrad : Now Tom... take it like the biotch you are!! Kneel pretty boy, and do what you do best..... and I don't want to see any of the color bleeding off of the nail, onto my toes.


(you sickos... you thought that I was going to do something really bad, didn't you?)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGeraldo *mumbles
stupid pirate boy taking all my action. I am a great lover!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/Cameraman.jpgBob the camera man *rolls eyes


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGeraldo Paris Hilton! My you look fabulous. Say I have a camera man, how would you like to help me make a documentary?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/Cameraman.jpgBob *thinking
they don't pay me enough to see him naked

*shudders

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bilyboy.jpgBill OReilly and we are back with our special guest tonight the Rev. Pat Roberston. Pat, you made some disparaging remarks about the tragic loss of the plane. What do you have to say? Remember this is a no spin zone.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/patrob.jpgPAT Well Bill, I meant what I said. They are all a bunch of heathens, sinners, adulterers and it was the wrath of God that simply took them out of the equation.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bilyboy.jpgBill You honestly believe that?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/patrob.jpgPat I do, but I will deny saying it in a few days.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint:
I'm back. Nothing but a bunch of sex perverts among the rest of the survivors. I couldn't find a doctor, but I did find a suitcase full of knives, and managed to kill a wild Boar Hog. I will gut it and clean, drain the blood and tan the hide for clothing. You with the dog, get a fire started so we can cook the meat. Get to it Blondie.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paris_hilton093.jpg
Paris:
Wow. Like, I don't eat meat.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/ananichole.jpg
Ana: ewwwwwwwwwwaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhaahaaa......the pig is so dirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty and nassssssssssssssssssty, it's so muddy on it's skin and there is blood on it and TRIMSPA BABY!!!




http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint: Damn.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paris_hilton093.jpg
Paris: Wow. I like to work, I work hard. People think I don't work, but I do, I model and do movies and it's HARD. Wow. No one realizes the hard work I do, or the hours I put in, or...

I ate meat one time, but it was at Sonic. It was sooooooooo gross.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/ananichole.jpg
Ana: ewwwwwwwwwwwaaaahhhhhhhhhhhewwwahhhh.....trim......load...spa....


Do you like my body?




http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paris_hilton093.jpg
Paris: Wow. Like, Tom Cruise is so Hot. He's Hot. That's Hot.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPaula *pushes up sleeves and stands on top of a tree stump.

YOU! TRIM SPA FREAK! You had better give me back my bottles of booze or so help me I will go all Laker girl all over your lipo'd ass and take them by force!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/cesardog.jpgCaesar the Dog Whisperer dat's it Paula you assert your role as pack leader.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/tomyyboy.jpgTom Paris you have money, why don't you come over here and let me tell you about Scientology.

Loved it...

You are welcome to pick a celeb and join in the fun.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paris_hilton093.jpg Paris: I think Scientology is HOT. I like the space orbitor and stuff, and that robot thing on Mars, and the telescope that can see the meteors and the comets and the sparkle stuff on the rings of the big giant sky thing with the colors and the gas.


And I would like a replicator, I would make shoes with it, and banana daiquiri's. But the man with the beard is too fat.

The old bald guy that sits in the chair is hot. And I like his deep voice.


I'm a real fan of Scientology.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/ananichole.jpgAna: eeeeeeeeeeeeahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaehaha.........I saw something in the wwwwwwwwwwoooooooooods. Like Balcakk Smoke and past images of booze and sexxzz and Gary Coleman and Trimspa. I think it make noises like a raptor from jjurrazzzic parks.

I can see my hand. I neever really looked at iiiitttttt beffore. I alzo heard some whispers and after that I saw a polar bear cub, oh he was ssoooooo cute and flufffys!!!!!!!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bilyboy.jpgBill and we are back to the Factor. Rember to purchase the Factor gear for mother's day. *smarmy smile

Now back to the plane of celebrities that is lost. I am here to tell you that something about this is not right. I think it was a plot by CNN to attempt to cash in on my ratings, but they failed. Yes, they can not keep up with my genius. I tell it like it is.

but I will miss the phone calls from Paula Abdul



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/larrythecableguy.jpgLarry the Cable Guy Boy I'll tell you, I'll take Ana out into dem dare woods and get er done. She's more hopped up than a Mormon on Mountain Dew

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGeraldo
Geraldo- back off cable boy. You can not compete with my latin smoothness. I have dibs on the blonde. I can add her name to my list of many many conquests.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/larrythecableguy.jpgDibs? Well we will let her decide, but if you is all inter women in all, how come yer were touchin' mah leg when Paula went to the bathroom?



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGeraldo
my isn't Paris Hilton stunning. *changing subject


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/larrythecableguy.jpg
*points to Paris Hilton

Look at them there Paris Hilton claimin' that she don't like meat. I paid $19.99 fer that video, and she sure seemed like she liked meat on it.

*crack of thunder in the sky. Larry falls to knees

Lord, I'm sorry for making a joke about Paris being a video slut. Meat for the starving pygmies in New Ginea

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/cesardog.jpgCaesar the Dog Whisperer *takes meat from Clint.
Thank you Mr. Eastwood. You are a very capable leader.

*begins to eat.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/tomyyboy.jpgTom give me some of that.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/cesardog.jpgCaesar the Dog Whisperer NO Tom. *smacks him under the chin
TSST!

Don look at him Mr. Eastwood. Assert your dominance. He must learn that he is not in control.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/tomyyboy.jpgTom I AM A STAR! I AM A HIGH MEMBER OF SCIENTOLOGY! FEED ME!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPaula *runs over and smacks Tom
TSST!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/cesardog.jpgCaesar the Dog Whisperer Good girl Paula.
Clint see how she has asserted her dominance. Now look she is lying down and showing her belly. She has signaled that she recognizes me as pack leader. Now we reward her.

*throws mini bottle of Vodka to Paula

Whidden got the pics. He edited them in for us.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPaula *sees Clint.

Oh Mr. Eastwood I just love you. You are so wonderful in your movies. America just loves you.

*starts to cry.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/larrythecableguy.jpgLarry the cable guy ain't that just like a woman to start blubberin' over nothin. Next thing you know she'll be a blamin' it on that PMS or ESP what ever that dang gum lady thing is.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGeraldo *whisper's to Larry, shut up and go smoke some weed with Carlin in the jungle. This is my chance.

PAULA darling. You are right. CLint is a beautiful man.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paula.jpgPaula *still crying

that ... is.... my... boob Gerlado

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint: Why, thank you Paula. Thank you very much. What a nice thing to say.


And I'm glad you all liked the pig meat. While hunting that boar, I had an experience, it seemed surreal, I'm not sure if I should even go into what I saw.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/ananichole.jpg
Ana: I had an experience once, but the judge said to okay it waZzzzz allll good. then i waz a reggistyered sex offender while i was on porbattion, but it only lasted for 6 months.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paris_hilton093.jpg
Paris: I made a tape and it got out.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint: Not that kind of experience. No, nothing like that at all. I went into the woods, to hunt for some boar, and Boone was with me.

Boone is my trusty sidekick. He sat by me on the plane, and he likes to help out and stuff.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/keanu.jpgKeanu: Woah. My name is not Boone. It's Keanu, but I told Mr. Eastwood he could call me Boone, if he wanted. ***looks at ground, shuffles feet***


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint: Me and Boone found ourselves in a thicket, and we heard loud noises, like maybe a dinosaur or a tornado, then I saw this cloud of moving smoke, black as coal, it moved toward me. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Until it showed my past and in it was Sandra Locke. Could have done without that part of it. But the rest of it was beyond words. It then moved to Boone, and showed him his past.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/keanu.jpgKeanu: Woah. I saw some pot, Bodhi from Point Break, Gary Busey, Hugo Weaving, some bullet time being filmed, a green screen, and parts of Bill and Teds Bogus journey.

Somehow, it let me live. I can't believe it.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint: Joan Rivers was not so lucky. She wandered into the glade at that time, and the black smoke monster flew to her, read her past, ripped her to bloody shreds and left her hanging in a tree.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/keanu.jpgKeanu: Woah, like we were going to bury her, but we had the hog hunting to do, and the tree was like, really tall, so we just left her hanging there.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint: Don't worry son, she was mostly plastic and resin anyway, the birds won't touch her. We can go back and burn the tree later, with all the flammables on whats left of her, it should burn rather nicely.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/ananichole.jpg
Ana: weeweewweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
aahahahah......trimspa, i have some trimspa, it burns good, we can burn with that, oh taht hog is so ghrossssss, but i'm hungry too, I want to eat some littlle piggy too.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/keanu.jpg
Keanu: Woah. Mr. Eastwood, I fell asleep, took a nap, and had a horrific dream.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint: Well, tell us about it Boone.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/paris_hilton093.jpg
Paris: I dream about butterflies and purses with sparkles on them, that’s HOT.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/ananichole.jpg
Ana: I dream about my body baby! But it was a dream, nots a nightmares. No no.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/keanu.jpg
Keanu: Well, like, I was in the dream world right, and the ghost of Joan Rivers came to me and said some stuff.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/clint_eastwood.jpg
Clint: What did she say Boone?



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/keanu.jpgKeanu: This is how it went down.


THE DREAM:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/georgecarlin.jpgGeorge Carlin*sees larry the cable guy walking up to him.

What do you want hick boy?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/larrythecableguy.jpgLarry the Cable Guy well old man, I come out here to smoke me some of that wacky tobaccy with you. I can't stand sitting on the beach and listening to that Geraldo feller. That Geraldo is hornier than a hound dog in a room full of legs.

*GEORGE PASSES JOINT and they sit smoking for a while


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/Cameraman.jpgBob*comes running into the jungle

I can't take it anymore!. I will kill him so help me I will kill him!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/larrythecableguy.jpgLarry the Cable Guy Woah now partner, setting down an have a smoke. Now you you gonna kill?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/Cameraman.jpgBob*
Geraldo. He will not stop hitting on women and making me film it. No way am I shooting a porn video with him and Paris. I'll jump off a cliff first.

*enjoys a smoke

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/georgecarlin.jpgGeorge Carlin*lays back and stares at the clouds.

You know who pisses me off? That pansy ass Tom Cruise, Mr. Scientology. Hey has to believe he is a healer because his @#$% is so small.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/larrythecableguy.jpgLarry the Cable Guy *giggles

he he he, hey George, what say we go grab old Tommy boy, get him high and freak him out?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/georgecarlin.jpgGeorge Carlin Sounds pretty sweet to me.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/Cameraman.jpgBob
he he he

I'll film it all too


*three go off to get tom

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/tomyyboy.jpgTom

*sitting on a log looking at his reflection in a mirror.

Yes Tom you are a tough man, a big man, a learned man.

*stands up

WHo's there?

*THUNG

*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
H



*wakes up

where am I? Dude where are the lights? What is that smell? Oh it is smoky in here. I feel, I feel.... *giggles GOOD

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/georgecarlin.jpgGeorge Carlin*whispers to Bob the camera man, keep that light right in his face.

((TOM SEES ONLY A BRIGHT LIGHT))

*uses deep voice.

TOM, I AM THE GHOST OF L. RON HUBBARD!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/larrythecableguy.jpgLarry the Cable Guy*giggling madly

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/tomyyboy.jpgTom
Dude! What do you want?


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/georgecarlin.jpgGeorge Carlin
I AM HERE TOM, HERE ON THE ISLAND

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/larrythecableguy.jpgLarry the Cable Guy Oh crap I just peed m'self

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/georgecarlin.jpgGeorge Carlin
YOU MUST FIND ME TOM. I AM HERE SOMEWHERE IN THE FILTH AND CRAP OF THE ISLAND. YOU MUST FIND ME AND ALL WILL BE KNOWN TO YOU! YOU WILL BECOME AS ME! IF YOU SHOULD FAIL, YOUR WEENIE WILL FALL OFF AND YOU WILL SPEND FOREVER WITH ROSIE O'DONNEL!


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/tomyyboy.jpgTomNO! NOT ROSIE!
I will find you master! I will find you!

*voice from the dark


Will Tom ever find LRon Hubbard?

Will Geraldo ever get lucky?

Will Rosie O'Donnel help her Tommy?

Will Paula ever become Dominant?


*new voice

Will George Carlin ever shut the heck up and get me some dern food?

*says "Larry shut the hell up you are ruining my voice over!"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/bilyboy.jpg[COLOR=red]This is Bill O'Reilley. Welcome to the Factor. Today we begin with our talking points. We are entering the second day since the plane full of celebrities has gone missing somewhere off the coast of Australia. This reporter wants to know why they were all together and not on separate chartered jets like most celebrities love to use. Why did the plane go down? Were the paparazzi involved? Demand action from your representatives. I will keep on this story until the truth is uncovered

Back on the Island things go from bad to worse. These pampered celebrities are not used to fending for themselves.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/geraldo.jpgGERALDO- we need food. I am hungry, and we have to find a way to survive on this island. I've been in combat zones, so I should be in charge.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/georgecarlin.jpgGeorge Carlin Combat this buddy. You couldn't even find Capone so I doubt you could find food or even fire wood!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/cesardog.jpgCaesar the Dog Whsiperer Tssst! *hit's Geraldo on the leg.

DOWN! Now Mr. Carlin that is how you assert your dominance.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/georgecarlin.jpgGeorge Carlin Dominance? hey buddy ...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/cesardog.jpgCaesar*TSST!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/georgecarlin.jpgGeorge CarlinOUCH!


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/Whidden%202/cesardog.jpgCaesar- Now this is what we are going to do. Mr. Eastwood will lead a hunting party. Geraldo you will go with him. Mr. Smarty Pants Carlin, you will collect they fire wood. Paula will provide the water either from a waterfall or her own tears.

All of you split into groups now!

I SAID NOW TSSST!