Chuck Norris Facts

Flamers' Ward Forum

Has anyone read these or been to the website? They're funny.

Top ten:

1. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
5. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
6. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
7. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
8. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
9. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
10. Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

see more at this funny website:
http://chucknorrisfacts.com/

Yeah, it's in the older polls section, little while back

http://www.inreview.com/topic-35891.html

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DANGIT, I SEARCHED FOR IT TOO...

I heard it on the radio this morning and almost died. There's like 8 pages of them, it's hilarious.

Oh yea, it's nuts. Norris actually responded on his website. What an odd thing to get so popular. Good find though

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Yeah I got this at work a few weeks back there is one about Mr. T as well.

yeah this has been an internet fad for a few months now.

Here's some more:

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Its a shame he's never cried.
Chuck Norris' beard regrows by the time he's done shaving.
Chuck Norris once wanted to know what he looked like without a beard, so he made a beardless clone of himself, and named it Vin Deisel.
Chuck Norris was dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris invented water.

I made some Taco Bell Chuck Norris facts, but they're not funny unless you work there.

The customer is not always right. Chuck Norris is always right.

Chuck Norris is a douche.

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I believe them's fightin' words!


I'm just kidding, I can't stand Walker, Texas Retard.

That was the worst show ever. Conan had some clips of it for a while and would pull this giant lever and one would come on at random. It's so lame.

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Three roundhouse kickers I can't stand:

Schmuck Norris
Jean Claude Van Lame
and Steven Segag-me (does he kick? who cares, he's lame)

I want to see a movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme, Stephen Segal, Vin Deisel, and DMX.

I actually liked Under Seige and Hard To Kill, so yes, I was once a Segal fan.

This all changed when I saw a newspaper ad of him playing guitar at a casino a few years ago.

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Segal isn't a good actor. He just has an intimdatingly calm confidance about him. But it's fake when it's exuberated from a fat old guy. Hence, the end of his career.

Did he ever really HAVE a career? I mean really. Did he?

Didn't he play a native american or something in a movie? I remember under seige and Hard to Kill. Look on IMDB, every movie cover of his is almost IDENTICAL. Him with a gun and a Mug Shot facial expression, or just his mug shot facial expression. it's hilarious.

Yeah, he was an a native American, in Alaska I think, something about drilling for oil. It was lame ass.

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why is chuck norris still famous? Just because of the informercial he does with Christie Brinkly? He went from Kick boxing to Tool Boxing.

Well he did those crappy movies, then the Walker TV show, kind of a 'Surreal Life' -ish type celebrity.

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oh man, he should be on the next surreal life. Him and gary coleman. COME ON IT'D BE GREAT!

Totally, with Macho Man Randy Savage.

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the young brother from mr. belvedere

?

The kid from Small Wonder.

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And the dog from Frasier.

I saw Chuck Norris Monday at 4:45am on TV...jumping out of an airplane, his chute didn't open and neither did his buddies. Then Chuck swoops down, catches his buddy, somehow gets his chute open at the last minute and survives while saving his friends life. It doesn't get any better than this.