Punched In The Face!

Flamers' Ward Forum

We are starting a list of people who should be punched in the face. Not names, per se. Just types of people who do certain things that anger us.

-HECK!

#1- People who abbreviate March or April.

It's two words you turd! You're writing a period (Mar., Apr.) like the 'ch' or 'il' will tie up so much of your precious time?

-HECK!

#2 people who get their kids to steal for them. Dang people stealing our fruit.

#3 People who give you their fricken colds, and you end up sick for like 2 weeks!

#5 people who use abbreviations or acronyms for everything...

i.e.: "The sales report is M.I.A. someone get the 411 A.S.A.P"
I feel like P.U.K.I.N.G.

We'll make illuminate's #5...

#6- People who use air quotes, they can "eat s***"

-HECK!

#7 People who shove their beliefs (whatever they are) in others faces, and say that their way is the ONLY way.

I'd like to echo Lawless' to the highest possible degree.

#8- Mothers who don't take their children out of a movie theater when they cry.

-HECK!

I totally agree with #8.

#9 people who let their kids bully other kids and be general little jerks because they are too lazy to discipline them.

#10- people at gas stations who, after getting gas and pumping it, come back in for whatever reason and totally bypass the line and stand off to the side immediately grabbing the clerks attention then continuing on with their transaction that ended 5 minutes ago. Get in line, *******.

-HECK!

#11 People who drive while talking on the phone, and pay no fricken attention to anyone around them.

#12 Low lifes who have not had a bath in ages, and who buy lottery tickets and stand at the counter and rub off the lottery stuff with a coin, to see if they won, while I and about 20 other people wait in line behind them, trying to pay for our gas.














http://www.inreview.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=634564

#13 People who audition for American Idol and say, "Oh yeah, I can sing... and everyone says so" and then sound like they are running their lips over a cheese grater.

#14. People that artificially inflate their egos in a very public fashion so that people will see them; they hope someone will say, "Wow, you're so cool and successful." In reality, they are not that smart, not that successful, and they are quite mediocre. A good slapping back into reality is what they need.

#15. People who are rude to others because they perceive themselves to be a higher class. For instance, being rude to a fast food worker, store clerk, janitor, etc. They only do this because they have a "right" to treat them like crap. They deserve a double punch for laughing at them for having a lower salary.

#16: People on the cell phones who try to have two conversations at once. Like what you did with your hair or what you are doing later tonight cannot wait 30 f ing seconds while you order your damn food.

#17 People who are in a room, and talking on their cell phones, and everyone around them has to be a part of it!!!

STFU... we don't care what your Aunt Betty did last night, and we never will.

#18- People who go on and on about their car.

After I comment, "cool car", they seem to think it's an open invite to give me the complete history of their ride. Hey, Henry Ford, I didn't ask how you tricked out your Honda Civic and don't give a flying flap. I really didn't think it was a nice car in the first place.

-HECK!

#19 Co-workers who constantly slap THEIR work on you, and expect YOU to do it for them. Oh, hell no... it's going right back on your desk, b!tch *slap*

#20- People who have a nervous laugh that end 75% of all their statements.

-HECK!

#21- People who fake laugh and think you're too stupid to realize it.

#22- people who laugh AT THEIR OWN jokes - and look around, waiting for everyone else to join in...

#23 People who ask "questions" in class, that in fact are not questions, but long winded tirades that end with a question, meant to inform everyone how smart they are.


This fools no one. Everyone knows what you are doing. If you got a real question, ask it. If not, shut up and let the teacher teach the darn class.

#24 Women at work who pee on the toilet seat even though there is that little sanitary sheet, or toilet paper to shield their delicate asses from germs.
So, when I am in a hurry and don't look before I leap, I get to sit in their urine.

And that's just not very ladylike women...leaving urine for my buttocks.

#25. Since we can't name names, people like Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity. Self-righteous lying blowhards that play off the inner bigots of their listeners. You canadd the Oxycontin Savage-like racists too. Much of the people on conservative radio.

#26. To piggyback Whidden, people who raise their hand in class and ask the professor leading questions. This is not because they're inquisitive, but because they think they somehow, with two weeks of economics class, have discovered some theory that no economist has thought of, or that they are suddenly an expert that can dismantle a theory the professor has taught and studied for well over a decade.

#27 Those arrogent jerks with big trucks who drive under, or exactly the speed limit, until someone in a hurry tries to get by, at which time they show off how loud their engine is, invite you to the smell of their fuel, and then speed off as if to say "I'm number one and don't forget it."

Oh, I'm all for #27, Sayzak.

#28 Waiters/waitresses who never come back to your table, refill your drinks, see if there's anything that you need. But, when they bring the bill, they get all "nice like" and expect a tip. Oh, I got a tip for you... give better service, and maybe next time, I won't walk out leaving you only a penny for your crappy service. If you hate your job that much.. quit, and go do something where you are happy. I'm paying for f'n service, and I expect to get it.

29#

People who when you fork out $7 for a movie IN CASH with a $20...count out your money, knowing full well that the $5 they gave you was really a $1....
then you go to Red Robin for dinner, and have to use your credit card because you find out that the bimbo at the theatre shorted you $4.
So, you go back to the theatre...ask the man to her left..."are you the manager?"
Yes, he is...then glare of death at the woman who you know purposefully is taking money off the top.

The manager says he will count her drawer "Right away."
He comes back saying her drawer in $2 short.
Duh! She's skimming from you too buddy!

Deep stare into this man's eyes: "She took my money. I want retribution." Spoken calmly and forcefully until he runs his ass over to the big manager and brings me my $4.

Thieves. Don't be thieving from me!

#30

People who come back 2 hours after they've been in the store (or at, say, the pictures) and demand change they believe they were shorted. Check it when you're at the counter man!


sorry, I had to. I got to admit those US notes look too similar for my tastes.

#31 People who complain over things that someone has said to them... that THEY instigated, and want to have someone else do something about it for them.

Don't give my your "He said, She said" crap.... work out your own issues, and grow up. Otherwise, STFU *crack*

#32 People who give you advice on something they don't know how to do themselves

#33

people who share a class with you but never go to class, and then expect full use of your notes the night before a midterm.

#34

people who enter your room without knocking.

#35

people who speak in punchlines and think they are funny. if this is you, you're usually not. no need to create a whole new language out of jokes. (grrr... this one really gets on my nerves. specially because said person also enters my room without knocking and is too lazy to recycle)

#36

people who don't recycle

#37

people who don't return a smile when you smile at them when you pass them walking on the sidewalk.

#38. People who look over your shoulder while you're reading or working at the computer. I don't know how many times I've switched to another window because some people are too damn nosy. It's now a reflex, but no I don't have anything to hide, if you wanted to know what I was doing, I would tell you.

#39. People who feign ignorance after you've just drilled them in a debate. They get taken to task, walloped and their only strategy is to pretend they didn't see/hear what you wrote/said.

#40. People saying you're using a strawman as a counterargument when you point out their strawman argument. It's as if someone says, "You're stupid," and they say, "Oh yeah, well you're stupid."

#41. People who misspell words and have the wrong word usage constantly. Little errors like "irregardless" for "regardless" and "loose" for "lose" really bother me. I just spent the day reading a guy write "oppinion." Several smacks with a dictionary should fix that.

#43:

People who expect people to take crap and verbal abuse from people and call such people "whiners and complainers."

GFY

#44- What's the deal with airplane peanuts? Man, have you seen these? Who are these people that make them? They are so hard to open! Whoever made these things is a nut!

-HECK!

#45- What's the deal with the twist tie on the end of a loaf of bread! Who are these people that make them? And why are the so hard to get back on? I mean, come on with the hardness and the loaf of bread.

-HECK!

#46 People who THINK that the finger is being pointed at them, when it's a GENERAL statement, and then call you a hypocrite!!!

47#

People who post in a thread, say stupid crap and expect you to believe they weren't commenting about the issue in that thread!

Otherwise it's

PUNCHED in the FACE!!

#48 Christians who act unlike what they "preach"

And the world wonders WHY people don't want to believe in a religion when they see things around them that make them go WTF?

#49- What's the deal with mints on a pillow at a hotel? Who are these people with all these extra mints they need to put them on pillows in the room? What, is their a mint fairy? What a country!

-HECK!

# 48 Oh, brother, here we go. The "Christian 'card. ' Like I haven't heard that one before!!!

Just because someone calls other people on their hypocrisy and stupidity!!!

Yeah, I suppose some people think the Beatitudes include blessed are the weak, instead of blessed are the meek..

So, people who expect Christians to be doormats for everyone with abusive personalities.

49#
People who claim to be Christians and.....

50# Mods on forums who are not held to the same standard of board rules and regulations....
Talk about hypocrisy...
They feel like they can abuse behind the banner of their 'high posts.'

And the enablers who support them in these actions.

#51- What's the deal with the little alarm on my VCR, who are these people who make them? I mean, you have to be a nuclear scientist to set it! With all the numbers and the flashing 12:00 and all the business trying to set it. Who are these people?

-HECK!

#52- The people who think they are above you b/c you aren't worshiping the new LAME technologies. Hey, if I still wanna have a VCR, suck it. If i still wanna run with my 1998 discman, suck it. If I want a normal sized cell phone that doesn't slip through the threads of my pants pocket b/c it's nano-sized. SUCK IT. I'm not making you use them. Don't tell me I'm lame for not being like everyone else. s.u.c.k.i.t.

You know, after reading my past few posts in this thread, maybe hackey sitcom jokes aren't the best idea... still, good advice from my #1 fan.



-HECK!

hey, beta's had a better picture quality didn't they?

A lot of regional TV stations stations still use beta for their production.

-HECK!

#53
stupid record labels that charge too much on CDs and then guilt trip consumers into "supporting their artists."

give me a break. artists don't really receive that much from cds - support artists by going to concerts!

#54. People who turn a "punch in the face" thread into a flaming match. Then again, this is the Flamers' Ward.

#55 People who stir the pot, causing a staff member to leave a site, when they are such an intricate part of the place.

#56 Guys at work, who touch a woman, inappropriately....

Touch my woman again, and we will go toe-to-toe!!! Good thing that you were fired... because I would have ripped your balls off, and fed them to you!

Sexual harrassment doesn't fly with me!!!

#57. Men who live in the stone ages. Any man that sees women as conquests and wishes to treat them like trash needs to have his testicles removed. Then after that, he deserves a punch in the face. Misogyny pisses me off.

#58 Women.

#59 Men who put thier hands on other women

#60 those who play the sexist, racist card when they don't get thier own way

#61 people who cannot take a little criticism, constructive or otherwise.

#62

People who butt their heads into a conflict who are not even involved in the first place and only cause more trouble...or people who even comment on said conflicts who were not even involved.

Not only PUNCHED in the FACE!!! But they should endure the punishment for such nuisance as in the play, Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett...that is if they know how to read any better than they know how to butt into others' issues without provocation or request.

#63 People who try to take down sites they don't like.

#64 people who DRAG THINGS OUT FOR TOO LONG. JESUS, GET OVER IT.


There are more important things to worry about than a little headbutting and name calling.

#65 People who tell you that you're going to hell because you read Harry Potter.

#65.5 - People who tell you you're going to hell b/c you don't believe in the same thing they believe.

#66 People who make assumptions, and cause a situation, in any way, to blow up into something that it never had to.

#67- Strangers who ask to use my cell phone.

-HECK!

#69 People who move and leave their pets behind to fend for themselves.

#70 people that phone at 1am for a chat.

I am NOT feeling the love here people!

Either I am way too self conscious, or people are still hanging on to grudges!!!

In any way...

Kudos and pat on the f'n back!

#72 people who don't pick up after their dogs while taking them on walks.

#73. People that ask you about the brand name of clothes you're wearing, when you explicitly chime in again and again that you don't like name brands, you just buy clothes based on price and quality.

(My friend does it all the time and I can't figure why he doesn't get it when, "I say don't care what the brand is," shoot, he overthinks everything else about me, but can't get that subtle jab when it comes to clothes.)

#74 People who try to talk to you while you are otherwise engaged, especially on the phone

#75 People who try to push their political agenda on you!!!

(I love #65, Kris. Good one)

#76 able bodied people who park in disabled parking bays.

#77- Bald people with a comb over. Who are you fooling?

-HECK!

Like an over-sized hair swirl will make people think they have a full head of hair. I say if you're bald, rock and roll. There is too much placed on superficial crap people have to be happy however they are. Now I'm off to get a manicure.

-HECK!

You need to get a 2 all over it's the comb over of the 21st century

#78 - people with stank morning breath. What's so hard about brushing your teeth in the morning? I mean who DOESN'T do it? It should be a law. And these are the same people that seem to think it's okay to speak close to your face. Sometimes I feel like passing out. I'd rather have garlic breath in my face than morning stank breath.... BRUSH YOUR DAMN TEETH! SICKOS!

#79

People who don't like music of any kind. I don't trust you and
PITF!

#80 Women who seduce you into having sex with them, have fun with you for a few weeks, and then stop calling/hanging out because she thinks you're a player. (or pulls out the player card cuz she can get away with it... either she's stupid, or she's stupid)

#81 People who were raised with a near perfect life, and think they have all the answers to fix the life of someone who has survived things they couldn't imagine.

#82 Shallow people who only go after challenges, caring more for their own ego than the heart they crush.

#83 People who are afraid to think with an open mind, and accuse you of "over-thinking". (Excuse me for not "under-thinking", like most people.)

#84 People who are afraid of eye contact.

#85 People who fire you because you filed a sexual harrassment charge, and threaten you in other ways.

(Oh yeah, the crap is hitting the fan on this one, and my partner and I are going to have a field day with this.)

#86 Employers who don't expect people to file lawsuits after they fire an employee for filing a sexual harrasment charge or these employers retaliate in any other way.
Employers who for some reason ignore or are too stupid to know that retaliation against employees for even going to HR or filing sexual harrassment charges is illegal and they WILL lose in a court of law.

#87 Disgruntled housewives who happen to be executives at your job who continually sexually harass you. Who think because you are a woman too and their salaries have way too many zeros behind them, you will just let it slide. These women are so unhappy with the fact that their husbands hang out in the basement "working" on their computer network all night, they feel obligated to lock you in their offices and try to have their way with you. And to the manager who feels it's good for business for you to enjoy such things...

PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!!

ahhh man. Today is the first day of spring break, it's a BEAUTIFUL day, I just finished a test and a long day of classes, and now I've got a beer in my hand.

I have today and tomorrow off from work, and tomorrow's payday.

I don't feel like punching anyone in the face right now.

I am sick and have to work. Double face punch coming.

-HECK!

#88 People who try and force you back into something you gave up a long time ago.

# 89 My boss!Because it would feel sooooooooo good.

Hey, Lickety is back. Thats cool.

#90. People that pretend they're something that they're not. For instance, people that pretends they grew up on the streets living a hard life, when in fact they were fed, clothed, and had a roof over their head.

This is something definitely seen in some kids with a "ghetto mentality" where they move to the suburbs and then want to be hard. They lived in a nice area of the city to begin with, not even the ghetto, but they boast their ghetto credentials once they move. That's a punch in the face for lying and another one for wetting their pants when they truly are put in the lifestyle they glamorize.

#91. People that saying things on the internet just because it is the internet and they believe that the anonyminity is a free pass to be an a$$hole. Don't say anything on the internet that you wouldn't say to someone's face. That's just being an idiot, and definitely don't write insulting statements with a smiley thinking it's cute.

I stand by firmly on my ground. If I'm an ass online, that's how I am in real life.

#92 People who sneeze without even making an attempt to cover their mouth

I do the spit thing

#95 People who insist on saying "bless you" after I sneeze.

#96 People who gather for an Oscar party, and talk, through the entire thing, that you can't hear what's being said... and they ONLY get quiet during the parts that no one wants to hear anyway!!!! THANKS FOR RUINING IT FOR A HANDFUL OF US! (I knew that I should have stayed home, curled up on the couch, in pjs)

#97 On the bathroom tip, people who take a massive dump and don't flush the toilet. You might as well crap on the ground. Take the extra few seconds and send that turdly abomination back to the nether realm in which it came.

-HECK!

#98 People who bring their sick kids to the playground area at McDonalds. Like we want your green snotty kid running around smearing their crap all over the equipment.

#99 Spanish taxi drivers

#100 People who leave an empty ice tray in the freezer- or anyone in general without proper ice tray etiquette.

If you use half the ice in the tray and then fill it, you're basically holding the rest of the tray hostage until the whole thing freezes. It's useless! Might as well use the whole tray if you're going to do that. Best thing to do is have a little plastic dish in the freezer and each time you go to the tray, dump the whole thing into the dish and fill up the tray. Eventually the amount of ice in the dish will far exceed normal day-to-day ice needs and using the tray will become less frequent. Come on people!

-HECK!

#101 People who still use Ice Trays... ever heard of an ice maker?

Just kidding hahaha I STILL USE 'EM and they're never full.... TAKE THAT HECK!

#102

Fake Christians who use Christ's sacrafice as an excuse to sin on a regular basis and then turn around and mock people such as myself for being agnostic, even though I reflect the ethics in the bible much more accurately.

#103. People insisting that you've written something you didn't on a messageboard. If I've written something, all my posts are clear as day, you should be able to point it out. There is no sense in you trying to escalate some stupid anonymous messageboard debate by accusing someone of something you can't prove.

104#

Those nuts who protest at funerals of US soldiers holding up pornographic and hateful signs and calling themselves "Baptists."
I heard you, nut, on the BBC news on Sirius today...You and your "We are the kindest people in the world standing on those sidewalks" ... And then soon digressing to "God hates fxxx! God hates fxx enablers! God hates the United States!" "And more crap about how the soldiers are dying in Iraq because this country is full of homersecktials! And he is getting back at our country and showing his judgement."

You know what woman? You are...
PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!!

Why don't you move to the Netherlands if you think you've got it bad!

PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!

Perhaps those protesters need to get splattered with feces, there's free speech for ya!

#105 people who want to build dry docks

#106. People who take these messageboards a bit too seriously. You write something in disagreement and then you start seeing: ZOMG U R an @$$ 1337!!!1

#107...

People who talk about others but fail to see that they talk about themselves as well within that same sentence.

Not to mention people who lack true self esteem and confidence therefore having to try to make others feel less so that they make themselves feel better but in reality, they lack just as much information as the next person.

Thats always a humerous thing to see.

#107 People who are stupid / braindead to engage in intelligent debate and instead just fire out insults thus runing for the adults to have an adult conversation.

#109 People who obsess about long types of things.

#110 Women who pick loser and/or abusive men as partners/boyfriends/spouses who continually whine and complain about such men…until black psychotic depression sets in and they are forced to move in with relatives in other states.
Then, 2 years later, they decide to move back into your home state. They ask you to find out information on apartments for them. You do. You call them with this information only to find that they have decided to move into the basement of their loser/abusive partners/boyfriends/spouses.
You remind them of how they became psychotically depressed and they give you attitude and call YOU abusive for mentioning such things. You slam down the phone.

Generally, women who choose loser/abusive partners/boyfriends/spouses, bend your ear about it…want advice and then when you give advice…they call you abusive.

Not punched in the face necessarily. That would be too abusive.

SLAM! Goes the phone!

#111

(first of all, there are three 11's hidden in this number, which is a really good omen.)

Ahem:

People who do and say everything for the sake of having power or pride over other people, and once they lose it, they claim to be the victim of such behavior, not even realizing they've done this. A punch inf the face wouldn't learn 'em at all either, sadly. So I'd have to squirt them in the face with water.

squirted in the face!!!!

#112

Mimes. I'd love to punch a mime.

do you think they'd mime pain or actually yell out?

What would happen if a mime started to choke? Would anyone help him? I wonder how many mime-related choking deaths there are in the world. Probably more than you think.



-HECK!

I wouldn't help one.

mime's creep me out. If you're trapped in your box, mime yourself a damn door and get out.

Did anyone ever see the mime in The Aristocrats? That was some funny stuff.

If I saw a mime choking I'd mock him by grabbing my own throat, then I'd say "sorry bub, can't hear you, what?"

Fallowed by, "Shouldn't have cried wolf for so long pal!"

Then I'd laugh and frolic away.

#113 People who let their toddlers/preschoolers near other kids when they are biters. A stupid three year old, with a binkie, bit my daughter at the eye doctor's office. The mom didn't' even make him say sorry.

#114 People who change settings on other people's computers!!!

#115 People who eat all the cookies (except if you have a secret stash, and then it doesn't count )

#115 People who say 'pacifically' instead of specifically.

-HECK!

#116 - People who say EXpecially or EXpresso.

#117 Racism mired in semantics.

Punched in the FAce

#118. People who have their kids on leashes. You definitely don't deserve parent of the year when you have to resort to treating your kid like a dog.

My parents had to put my brother on a leash when he was a toddler and he and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. We played with it until we became too big for it. Like we'd hook it up to one of us and tie the loop end to a sleigh and run really fast and pull the other one They really aren't so bad.

#119- Breast feeding in public! Take that milky bag and stuff if back in your shirt, go somewhere private and take care of business. I don't even want to see Pam Anderson do that. Well, maybe her. But that's it.

-HECK!

#120 Guys that scratch their junk right in front of you while they're talking to you. I don't need to see that. seriously.

#121 People who sell religion door to door.

-HECK!

#122 Companies who don't "pay" for your time to go do something for them!!!

#123 Politicians that complain when people go strike.

#123 The person who invented DAYLIGHT SAVINGS.

-HECK!

(Nothing wrong with daylight saving)

#124 the person who started politicians using spin

Daylight savings can go to the third ring and hang a left. Losing an hour of sleep is never good. Gaining one is cool, but it's not worth losing one

Then it doesn't get dark until 8pm and the sun doesn't rise until I am leaving for work, I don't know what time it is... it messes with my world.

-HECK!