Gaboman's Obviously Contrived Poems

Writing Forum

To INReview

INreview,
The place that
Puts the
IN in
REVIEWING.
Yes, you say
Hot Topics
Intellectual Discussion and
Even stimulating
Intelligent Conversation,
However your
Forums say
Otherwise.

-Gaboman 07/09/2005

Fuscilly
Fuscia is apparently
Another spelling for
fuchsia, the
Colour.
However, as we
Understand it
Not the natural
Color of your
Hair.
You did dye it
That way
Once,
According to
Legend, that
Is. We are
Yet to
See such an
Anomaly.
Wouldn't it
Be weird if
Someone was really
Born with fuchsia coloured
Hair? That
person would be
Quite unpopular,
Especially with the men
Since it is a purple colour
And purple
Is the colour
Of Sexual
Frustration.
Though according to
Another completely
Separate legend
Neither Fuscia or Mr Fuscia
Have that Problem.
Bully for them.

-Gaboman 07/09/2005

The girl with a hundred different names

Good old KJ.
Nobody remembers who
That is, of course
As you all know her
Now as Kris Rucker.
At least
I think that's
What her latest nick
Name is.
It was simply Kris, for
A while - Or some
Variation of her name -
But after a few months
She didn't like to be called
Simply Kris.
I think we may be
Espected to address
Her as
Miss or Ms.
Rucker,
I can understand the
Switch from KJ
Since they really
Weren't her
Initials. Or maybe
They are, but just
Not the complete set.
Perhaps we'll never
Know the truth.

-Gaboman 07/09/2005

Grant... I'm gonna have to whip your butt, little brother!!!

Celebrity Obituaries

A lot of famous people
Have been dying
Lately. Dying is
Never a good thing,
Though sometimes
It is.
I just read
Gilligan died
Which is sad.
I guess he's stuck
On that big
Island in the sky now.
Let's pray the
Skipper isn't with
Him.
Also this
Year, we had
Arthur Miller die.
That was sad.
Though if you
Look at his
Life: money,
Cars,
Doing Marilyn;
He had it good.
There was also
The Riddler, Luther,
Miss Robinson, Scotty,
And Ray Charles.
Though Ray Charles died
Last year
It really doesn't matter
Because either
Way, like the
Rest of them,
He'll never come
Back no more
No more, no
More, no more.
He'll never come back
No more.

-Gaboman 07/09/2005

I am thinking that Gaboman might end up edited into the obit list huh Kris. OR we add him to the list of people who drink and post. GRANT DON"T PICK ON YOUR SISTERS!

*mumbles Dave is my new favorite brother

Yeah, I know what you're saying... we will have to add HIM to the obits, and say a ton about him.... about all his "conquests"



*whispers* Daves my favorite brother now too!

Fuscia's To Do List

1. Plot revenge
2. Plot revenge against Grant
3. Think about Chris Noth
4. Cold Shower
5. Resume plotting
6. Laugh over plan with Kris
7. String Grant out waiting for the revenge to happen
8. get even

Whidden

He voted for Bush
But I don't hold
It against
Him. Mainly because
That whole
Debacle does
Not affect
Me at all.
Except it does,
But I wont get
Into that.
The point is,
The man is funny.
Really really funny.
Bush, I mean,
Not Dave.
However if I had
A choice
I would have
a Beer
Or two
With Dave
Rather than the
"Honourable"
President Bush.
He is just that
Cool.

-Gaboman 07/09/2005

LMAO!!!!!!!

Poor Dave. D-bro, I think you are way funnier than W.

Oh no... Dave got slammed in comparison to GW? NO WAY!!! That's just wrong!!!



Kris' to do list:

1. Make sure that everyone knows the 'story' about the name changes that I've gone through.
2. Plan Grants demise
3. Make sure that Dave knows that HE is our favorite brother
4. Have a talk with my Love
5. Write out plans for Grants demise
6. Talk to Sherry about these plans
7. Bring in our FAVORITE brother, Dave, to help with the plans
8. Enjoy it all... live, laugh, love!!!

String Theory

Did you ever see
On Quantum Leap
They had an
Explanation
Of how Time
Travel is supposed
To work?
It made no sense.
You take a string
(The string is your
Lifetime, apparently),
Make it into
A loop
Then scrunch the loop
To make all the days
Of your
Life touch.
Then you can leap.
This makes absolutely
No sense,
Unless they had a
Two billion mile
Tall giant who
Could loop the
Universe and scrunch
It in his
Palm.

-Gaboman 07/09/2005

Fuscia Walking The Plank

There really
Aren't enough poems
About Pirates.
Sad really, when you
Consider that movies
About pirates
Are more popular
Than movies about
Flowers. And there
Are a lot more poems about
Flowers than there are
About Pirates.
Perhaps its the
Crooked, yellowing
Teeth that turns
A poet off
Writing about
Them. However,
They can't really talk.
I mean, look at Shake-
Speare. He was a pretty
Ugly fellow.
Though Shakespeare
Did use pirates
From time-to-
Time, as plot
Devices. So
He doesn't count,
Though he's still ugly.
Our story begins
On a boat,
Becauase that
is where Pirates
Tend to spend
Their time.
These pirates
Have the poor
Helpless Fuscia.
Fuscia is apparently
A wench, but I
always assumed wenches
Were long, metalic
And able to grip
Bolts, allowing
Them to be turned
Easier. I was wrong.
These are not ugly
Pirates, like described earlier,
They are ficticiously
Handsome pirates
That are pleasing
To Fuscia, because
She won't like me if
They're not pleasing pirates.
As pleasing as our
Pirates are, however,
You still wouldn't
Want to invite them
Over for Sunday dinner
As their table manners
Are attrocious. But
Fuscia likes that
Kind of thing.
In the captains quarters
Of this Pirate Ship
(Though I didn't
Say anything
About it being
A Pirate Ship, I
Automatically assumed
You must know this)
Fuscia is being
Seduced by the
Head-pirate, appropriately
Named Fabio.
Though Fabio looks the
Part, he unfortunately
Misunderstands the best
Way to win over
A woman and
Gets his band of pirates
- Named Kool and the
Gang, after the lead
Guitarist whose name
Is Kool Beard -
To play a romantic song,
Which, unfortunately
For Fabio, Turned
Out to be
The Muppet Theme.
As Fabio attempted his
Dance of Seduction, by
Flailing his arms
And legs around like
A madman,
Fuscia loses interest and
Falls asleep.
She wakes to
Find her hands
Tied behind
Her back and the
Plank underneath
Her foot. She wasn't
Entirely sure, but she
Guessed she may be
In a spot of trouble.
Thankfully for her,
Her strikingly handsome
Writer couldn't think
Of a creative ending
To his poem.
We can only
Assume she lived through
That ordeal.

-Gaboman 07/09/2005

She is going to kill you for not naming the head pirate 'Chris Noth'.

M.

No, she would've been quite unhappy if I'd written about a sexually inadequate Noth-Pirate.

Katrina

The most
Devestating natural
Disaster to
Hit America so
Far this
Century was named
After a woman.
I can only
Imagine how
Much of a *****
She must have
Been. People
Are dying, though,
So that's sad.
Many are already
Dead, which is
Also pretty sad.
Almost everybody is
Homeless and has lost
Everything they hold
Dear. However if you
Listen to the
President's mother,
They really are quite
Lucky. I sincerely
Hope I never
Get as lucky
As these poor
buggers.

-Gaboman 08/09/2005

I loved them all. I can't wait till you do a poem on Mahesh.



Oh yeah, to explain my voting record. This is how I come up with who I vote for. My personal equation:

First I think about a militaristic republican that cant talk so good:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/cwbys24.jpg


Then I add a politically correct over-sized-rear mannequin to my thoughts: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/bigbootyjudy.jpg


Then I read some heroin inspired Stephen King Books: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/veskagan.jpg

Then I pop in a VCR tape of Sling-blade:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/Whidden/slingblade.jpg







Then I forget all that and vote for who Rush Limbaugh tells me to.


My formula is tried and true, and works every-time.

M

If there were a choice between
Taking a red pill or a blue pill
I almost guarantee, you'll take
The red pill. Though this is
For no other reason than you
Think red is a good colour.
Perhaps you are not so fond of
Red, I can totally get that,
It's not exactly my favorite colour
Either. I'd personally mix the red
And blue pills together, to make a
Fushcia colour, like Sherry. It's much
Nicer. But enough about this
Jabberwocky, we all know why
Someone would write such a
Sophisticated poem about M.
He's just a sophisticated bloke.
Possibly even more sophisticated
Than this poem. That's a very
thin "possibly" however, since
This poem is rather well developed
And has all kinds of poetic technique
Like lovely alliteration,
and a lot of rhyming and repetition,
Repetition. Assonance is a good one
too. Who could live without it?
Yes, yes, Assonance. Very mature.
Of course I'm using all these poetic
Techniques as a metaphor for M's
Sophis... sophistic.... sophistica...
Smartness. May he never change.
And never forget us when he's filthy,
Filthy, rich.

-Gaboman 8/9/2005

The Ashes

Apparently some
Pommy blokes got
Their butts kicked in
Cricket over a
Century ago, and
Decided to have a
Fit. They burnt the
Stumps, and thus
The birth of
The Ashes - A
Urn full of black
Crap that we
Apparently both
Want very
Much. The
English haven't
Really improved in
Cricket much since,
But there's no
Limits to
How far they
Would go to
Win. Yes, they
Even went as far
To bring a
Foreign-born
Cricketer into
Their team. Of
Course, as an
Australian, I'm outraged.
Burn them all,
I say. Then,
Perhaps we'll have
A new set of
Ashes to
Compete over.

-Gaboman 14/9/2005

Sore loser.

M.

Darn tootin'........ I mean... no, not at all.

KJ
I will always know her as KJ
cuz that's what her nick was
on this forum
when I first signed up
it's like this guy I knew
in elementary school
named Azuka
in middle school
he wanted to be known as AC
which is understandable
cuz Azuka is kind of a weird name
but I kept lapsing back and
calling him Azuka
I remember
in 5th grade
he had a little girly-friend
her name was Crystal
so we called them
Azuka Bazooka and Crystal Pistol
it was great

M^2

We will always
Remember him.
May he rest in
Peace, in about
60 years when
He actually
Passes away. But for
Now, we can rest
Comfortably knowing
He's perfectly safe,
However probably
Suicidal from
University. Thankfully
I read a study
That stated only
.001% of suicidal
University students
Actually go through
With it. I
Like those odds.

-Gaboman 20/9/2005

Wow... I've got TWO poems written about me!!!! Errrrrr, should I take it as a compliment? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

In all fairness, Dekka's one about you is mostly about someone named Azuka.

KJ
we are both
madly in love with you
but know that
we can never have you
cuz you live so far away
plus
we are not your type

also
you are old as hell
i heard that
you are almost as old
as fuscia

wow that's old

Whidden
Speaking of old...
I mean, absolutely
Nobody gets
Their jollies over
Cowboys anymore.
Pirates, maybe,
But not Cowboys.
There was once a
Famous Cowboy
But he didn't
Really have a name.
At least his name
Was the man
With no name...
Or perhaps he
Had a name, we
Just didn't know it.
Of course
Whidden knows
Of whom I speak -
That dude from the
Good, the
Bad and
The ugly.
Now, everybody,
All together now.

Ba-de-de-de-de
Wah-wah-wah

Grant... it didn't matter!

Besides, see what Dekka did!

And Dekka I'm NOT old. Sherry is!

O globeman
when you first appeared
I read your name as 'gaboman'
and wondered why
you talked the way you did
where were you yesterday
on talk like a pirate day?
you were a tru pirate
the gangsta-thug woady pump
of the seven seas

word up
ahoy matey

Cowboys, and why they are relevant to modern day society.
By David Whidden.

George Dubya Bush
is a cowboy
according to Europe
and according to me
but I think we
see things differently
and interpret the word
in different ways.

Europe calls us cowboys
and to them
this is the biggest
insult
they can muster
but to me
and others right wingers
like me
it's a compliment.

I wish that all insults
could be like this
and then there would
be world peace
and if not world peace
then world war
but with more polite
language.

I wish that
I could call Gaboman
A Stupid Foreigner
and that to me it
would be the darkest insult
but to him
it would be the kindest
compliment
and that he would be
happy that I called him that.

But I digress.


I think
that Sharon Stone
was not a very
good cowboy
not because she was
a girl
and weak and stuff
but because she is
a girl
and would be called
a Cowgirl instead of
a Cowboy.

Also
I do not think
that she could have
taken
Gene Hackman
because he was too fast
though old
and crazy fast with a gun
but because she was a girl.

And I think that
maybe if Russel Crowe
would have fought
Leonardo DiCaprio instead of
Leo fighting his dad,

I think that Leo would have won
and understand that
I am the farthest thing
from Gay
but that Leonardo
is one good looking
man.

But I digress.


Sometimes I wonder
how long a poem
can go
and who will read it
and if people will skip
it
and then later
say they read it.

I think peeps
like Lawless
will do that kind of
thing.
That she will see the poem
and see how long it is
and think
this is more than I wanted
to read
and
Whidden is fun to read sometimes
but sometimes he is boring
and this poem
on cowboys looks
to long
to read.

I bet peeps like
Lawless
skip the poem
and pretend they read it
and then later
when the smoke had
cleared
they will tell
others that they enjoyed
the poem
even though they just
cursored down to see
how long it was
and kind of skimmed
the poem
to see if their name
was in it.

But I digress.


I think that if
I was a cowboy
I would be like the man with no name
but I would have a name
and it would be
Whidden the overseer King of the universe
and that I would rule
all of creation
with an iron fist.

But the fist itself would not
be iron
rather I would wear a
glove
very much like the infinity
gauntlet
and it would be full of jewels
that control all space and time.

Many things I would do
to the earth
to make it a better place
I would rule all with
little empathy or compassion
but rather
a hardcore 1984 style
government
with very little
mercy for dissenters.

To me
telling Don King
to shave that stupid
looking afro
which looks like
the heat miser's hair
from Rudolf the Red-nose
Reindeer
the animated special
I would make him
get a crew cut
and make Donald Trump
join in as well
and then there would
be nothing but
good hair in my
future totalitarian
cowboy led
society
which I will rule with an
Iron fist and
the infinity Gauntlet.

Though I will not call it
the infinity gauntlet
cause few know what
a gauntlet is
they think it's like
a line of fire
and guns
and a bus
like in a Clint Eastwood
movie
but don't know that
it's really a glove
so I will call it
the Cowboy Glove of Despair
because all will see it
and Despair
because I will be in charge
and make everyone do
what I want.


But I digress.


I think that Sierradaddy
Heck! and Larke2000
would make fine cowboys
they have the right attitude
to be one
except maybe for Heck!
and Sierradaddy
but Larke2000 would be a fine
cowboy
even though he has red
hair
and it's a known fact
that red haired fellows
look silly
in cowboy hats.


I do know
that Mahesh
would make an exceedingly
poor cowboy
one that brought shame
and disgrace to the genre
like John Travolta did
because who in their
right noggin would find
John Travolta a good cowboy
I ask
not because he is a scientologist
but I ask
rather because
he is a poor actor
and plus
he does not have the walk
for it.


This I know
that Delta and Mystic
would make good cowgirls
but I don't like to talk
about cowgirls
because most of them
would be better off
in the saloon as
a working girl
or at home
cooking supper
and I do not say these things
because I am sexist
but I say them
because I lost all track
of the iambic pentameter
awhile back and I got confused
as to what
I was saying.


I know that
if there is any
qualification to become
a true cowboy
that besides for the
cowboy hat
which is required
the other main thing
you need
is a love and appreciation
for beans
because on the trail
late at night
under the stars
when the coyotes are howling
and the milky way is spread
across the sky
like a billion glintly diamonds
the next bext thing
to home cooked vittles
and warm kissing
is a pot of
stirred sweetened baked beans
that have just the right amount of spices
and a pinch of
salt
and no one in the
world that
I know of
would make a finer cowboy
if the cowboy was based on
a knowledge of
beanery
than Becker
but I also fear that
no other cowboy would
be as shunned
and told to leave town on
a regular basis
than Becker and his
stinky gas filled Bean fart
jeans
and also they would
be afraid
very afraid of his
massive
six shooter.


But I digress.


To me
the thing that
is so cool about
cowboys
is their ability to solve
problems with nothing
but a gun
which is a trait
that my right wing
sensibility's
finds a neato trick
and sometimes in life
it would be cool to
pack heat
and walk the streets like
some whacked out Gunslinger
only I dont really want to
shoot anyone
but I wouldn't mind
too much if someone thought
I might shoot them
if they tried to make me dig
for Yankee gold
and told me I wasnt'
digging.


I think my favorite
rock band is Van Halen
but The CARs come in
a close second
and sometimes I wonder
if Rick Ocasic
of the cars
was a cowboy
would it help the way
he looks
because he is one ugly dude
and I fail to see how he
got that super model wife
with his ugly face
and huge adams apple
and if he had
a cowboy hat
to hide his features
it might make him look kind
of cool
but I doubt it.



But I digress.


This poem is
about cowboys
and how they still are
part of modern society
and not just the old
visions
of an aging population
and younger peeps
who are out of touch
with the current trends.

I think that I have
supported this
with my poem
so I will stop now
and go into
the living room
and put in my dvd
of The Good
The Bad and
The Ugly
and watch the part
where the Man with No
Name
shoots Tuco down
off the hangman's noose
and makes Tuco fall into the
ground and hit his head
on the sack of Gold
For some reason
this scene makes me think
of Dekka00
which would make a fine cowboy
as long as you do
not
mind a dope smoking cowboy
who work on Woady pumps
that are atomic powered
in your epic westerns.

I think that
if Fuscia was in
a Western
that she would be a
saucy tart
that hung out in the saloon
and also
helped strangers in peril
and that she would carry
a six shooter on each hip
and would be called
Calamity Sherry
and would hang out with
Spaliznad
and solve crimes
and mystery's
going town to town
helping others
and shooting bad people
who got in their way
and that were oppressing
others.

But I digress.

I do declare
that I actually read
that entire poem
and think that
I would make
quite the cowboy

But I doubt I'd shoot anybody
cuz I'm a
peace-loving
pot-smoking
hawaiian shirt-wearing
beatnik
but more importantly;
i have poor eyesight
and bad aim
but if I saw that the Good Guy was in trouble
I would sneak up on the Bad Guy
and give him a wedgie
and shout
"BOOYAH!"
and would be known
throughout the West
as Booyah B.

I seem to recall
a scene in The Good The Bad and The Ugly
where Blondie and Tuco
are passing a blunt
Blondie refers to it as a cigar
cuz blunt is more modern, urban slang
but I knows a blunt when I sees one

I think I ruined my eyesight reading the preceding two Epiphany peripatetic short lines of didactic logarithmic dogmas.

I will not forget this for a very long time........

http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/k0/smashfreak.gif

You read the whole poem Becker?

Shoot, even I didn't read the whole thing, it was too long, and it didn't even ryhme.



But now I feel guilty that it was "Becker" free, so I will go put in a line or two on Becker, so i won't feel bad anymore.

I read that poem
in it's entirity
Though I think
that I
am now blind
from reading so much
all at once.

I would make
a great cowgirl
For I am damn
good with guns
And I have been since
I was a young
girl
But don't ever say that
I'm a girly girl
For I am not
And will draw and
quarter you
if you do such an offense

Though
I must ask
Why in the world
would you put me in here
under 'Tobler'
since I'm not longer
married to a 'Tobler'
That isn't me
And so I must
stick out my tongue
And then threaten you
with my 6 shooter.

My Joint Won't Stay Lit

help!
my joint won't stay lit
I rolled it in haste
and did a sub-par job

it just keeps going out
and i am too lazy to roll another one

maybe i'll just eat some chips
and take a nap
and call it a night

Beck

He'd make a kick ass
Cowboy.
Yes, you heard me
Correctly - kick ass.
Why? It's really quite
Simple. All Cowboy
Movies have a dude
Who enjoys a
Drink every now
And then. He's always
Over the hill, but
Was a sharp shooter
In his day.
Everybody thinks
He's not worth
Jack anymore
But by the end
He pops up and
Empties his
Pistol into
The villain's
Eyeball. Saves the
Day. Yes, Becker -
That is you.
However, I would
probably never
Give you a gun, man,
For a few reasons,
Which I won't go
Into right now.

-Gaboman 21/9/2005

At last someone has recognized my true calling and excellent characerristics.

And I never miss.

Me either. I've
Had lots of
Practice with
Those urinals they
Have in clubs
That always move.
I'm not sure why
They'd make a
Toilet sway from
Side to side
When you're trying
To take a leak,
But at least
It helps
Me improve my
Aim.

-Gaboman 21/9/2005

I would make
a bad cowgirl.
There are too many
snakes in the region
and I would shoot them all
wasting all my bullets
or spend all my time
running and screaming

but I digress

Grant now has the
record for the
longest poem
EVER!

That would be
Whidden you are
Thinking of. But
You obviously haven't
Read Endymion
That is one
Fricken long
Poem.

That wasn't Grant with the longest poem... it was Dave, sis!!!

Oh man. I have been outed as the one who skims posts!

You know who
I think would
Make an
Awesome Cowboy?
Lee Marvin. I mean
Come on, could
You imagine it?
Oh! And if he could
Be a singing
Cowboy, then,
Oh man,
That would be
Sweet. The man
Has a great
Singing voice,
I'm sure.
Sigh,
If only it
Were possible
To see something
Like that. I'd pay
My nickle for
Admission...

-Gaboman 21/9/1968

I lay awake last night going over and over in my mind all the wondrous and inventive non-poetic rambling that spewed volcano like---- frozen lava----- from the bottomless depths of three of best of the best members in IR.

I won't mention their nomenclature for it might get me a "Pink" rating.

But if I don't sleep tonight..my gun will act tomorow in retribution...and I know it wil be termed "Justifiable Homicide." by one and all.

Another Poem to Keep Becker Up At Night

Does anyone
Watch 'Marshal
Law' or am
I the only one?
The show is
Ridiculously
Funny. There's this
Fat Chinese fellow
Who knows kung-fu
But can't seem
To manage the
Difficult act
Of... well, acting.
Or speaking English
For that matter.
But this isn't
What makes the
Show ridiculous.
The other day
There was this episode
Where Samo Law (The
Fat Chinese
Fellow) is chasing the
Enemy, who are
Fleeing in a Van. So
He jumps on the back
Of the van
And hangs on as
They weave in
And out
Of traffic, and
Around corners... until
He finally climbs his
Way onto the back
Of the truck,
And opens the
Back, where he
Takes out 3 or 4
Guys in there...
Then he climbs
On to the roof,
And the driver
Realizes he's there,
So swings the car
Bback and forth to
Get this crazy Chinese
Fellow off his van. He
Turns corners, and
Drives as fast
As possible, until
He finally breaks
And throws Samo
Law onto the
Foot path... so
The van's there,
Facing Samo... the
Driver tries to ram
Samo, but Samo
Jumps and runs
Along the entire
Length of the truck
And lands on the
Ground behind it...
The van takes off.
That's all very
Well and good, but
Then his "side-kick" (I
Forget his name) suddenly
Appears from behind
A tree and says "Oh,
They got away, did
They?" If I was Samo,
I would be wondering
Why this fellow
Didn't set up a
Trap for these
Criminals, since he
Obviously knew where
The chase would
End. What a jerk.

-Gabo 6/10/2005

A Lesson In Political Correctness

gaboman

first off:

I am disappointed
that
you have still not changed your handle
to
gaboperson


however
there are
far

far
more important things at stake here
such as
the fact
that

Err... Hung Ching-
-Pao is actually Chinese...
But you're right,
I should have
Refered to him
As simply Crazy-
-potentially-ethnic-dude.
How insensitive of me.
Though, honestly, if I
Were an Asian dude
Simply visiting
America for a short
Time and someone
Called me Asian-American
I would probably kick
Their ass. For no
Other reason than
I would definitely
Know Kung-Fu...
Being Asian and all.

-Gaboman 6/10/2005

Dear gaboperson

I know
that this
is
off-topic
bu-
t

congrats on 9000 posts
and
you finally
have
embraced the way of Political Correctness (part of the 8-fold path of Buddhism doncha know my Australian-American friend)

Crap, didn't even
Notice.

-Gaboman, 9000 posts later

Gaboman moves into Lymrics

There once was a man named Enis,
Who ate an entire dictionary.
His mother got kind of ticked,
'Cause they were supposed
to have the A's for dinner that night.

- Gaboman, 12/4/2006

As far as unrhyming lymerics go... that's, well, one.

Gabo Goes Goth

Blinding.
The light is
Burning my
Eye balls like
The firey passion
Of hatred
I feel for
The darkness
Of solitude undenying
The burning
Fire that burns
Through my soul
As a hundred Ravens
Peck slowly at my heart
While a hundred
Million swords of
Fire slowly burn cold
Through my skin
And make me
Grow boils all over
While I slit my wrists
And start wonder
Oh crap what the hell
Have I done, it hurts!
It hurts. Bloody hell
I hope someone gets
In here quick, or
Damn it, I might die.
I'm bleeding out,
And fast, and my
Jerk parents are
Too far away in
Their own worlds to
Even bother coming
Into the bathroom
To see if I'm okay.
Oh drat, why did I
Lock the door...
Better now. Woke up
In hospital. Three days
Later, home. Life
Is worse than ever, I
Wish I'd just died
In that bathroom like
I wanted to. But
For now, I'll live.
I'm alone, cold, and naked
A little hungry
And I have to go to the bathroom
But you won't let me
You won't... let me...

-Gaboman 28/4/2006

Lost
If it were
Possible for
Your television
To beat you
Up and take
Your lunch money,
Lost is the
Show that does
Just that.
It teases you
Week by week
With non-sense
About bears
And whispering
And Others
And boats
And pirates...
It's like that kid
Who tells you
Not to study for
Your test tomorrow
Because he'll
Give you the answers
On a piece of paper
But when you get
To school, he decided
To stay home
That day, but
You don't find out
About it until
10 minutes before
The test starts,
So you fail.
I hate you Daniel!
You ruined my chances
Of getting into Yale!!!
In conclusion, boycott
Lost

-Gaboman 26/5/2006