| Posted by: Whidden | | Hey, I'v wanted to start a thread for awhile now, to put the awesome quotes members make around Inreview .
Stuff that makes me laugh, or is simply profound.
Only two rules:
1. include the name of the member who said the quote, if possible. If you can't remember, that's ok, we will give them credit later.
2. if someone complains their quote is out of context, or don't like being quoted, I or another mod will remove the quote from this thread, we don't want to anger people. | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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Preston Likely said this in post #364 :
Nice try, buster. But when you're as clever as me there's no such thing as a reverse gear. But I don't want to burst the bubble of your illusion.
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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tweety028 said this in post #3 :
screw u heffa i mean u the last marauder |
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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HECK said this in post #8389 :
Batman is a weenie. He can only beat up people dressed up as a clown, cat, penguin, scarecrow, etc. Not to mention him battling physically deformed people with half their face burned off or trapped in a suit because they can only live in the cold. He beats up loonies and the handicapped with boomerangs and kung-fu. And he let's a boy and a old man live with him in a huge house. Wait... are we sure Bruce Wayne is Batman... Michael Jackson anyone?
-HECK! |
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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Larke2000 said this in post #248 :
my wife insists on 'blessing me' after i sneeze. and like you i feel compelled to give the obligatory reciprocal courtesy. why can't we just sneeze in peace? how does she know i'm not readying a second volley? i know she knows how much i hate an interrupted sneeze. then i have to spend hours throwing pepper up my nose just to try and complete it. |
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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fuscia said this in post #4 :
Sorry, but if the good Lord had intended for me to pee standing up, he would have given me a dinger.  |
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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tenko said this to Whidden in post #13 :
It is obvious that you have never taken mushrooms. It is also obvious that you are ignorant of the nature of the mushroom.
So don't speak. You might infect others. |
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| Posted by: mystic | |
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HECK said this in post #4
I can see it at Taco Bell now- the oddly large burrito! Get it with an inappropriately sized Pepsi and a piss-poor side of nachos. |
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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Leosa said this in post #92 :
Does adding Cool Beans to my signature cost any money? |
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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gaboman said this in post #22 :
Whatcha on about? Bach'll walk up and down 50's wack-self with his dope trax! |
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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Larke2000 said this in post #11 :
would it be too over-the-top to have my car painted with matrix code? i don't think my wife would go for it, though. seriously, if i had the cash (and wasn't afraid of my wife), i'd be driving around in a matri-stang. 
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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mystic said this in post #6 :
I guarantee even after reading what you just wrote, she still doesnt understand...
I mean you are trying to convey something to someone who needs a dictionary to read a Dick and Jane book.
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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Spaliznad said this in post #295 :
Spaliznad's life is full of dangerous, hilarious missions that make for very satisfying days and stories.
I know, I was there. |
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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Sandy June said this in post #53 :
I had a really good "I hate Lauren" picture to post and Lawdog woudn't let me post it.  Law don't go around here Lawdog. |
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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adityamahesh said this in post #9 :
Pewter figurines are just representative of some men's desires to play with toys but who are too embarassed to do so. They are afraid that their wives might mock them, and therefore they buy pewter figurines and try to act like grown men. 
Whidden, I breathe defiance to thine ears.
M, |
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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soulbounce said this in post #2 :
Say word son,knock yoself a pro slick the grey matta-o-fact,Ley it down and smack'em yack'em. |
this one was an instant classic, it spread around Inreview like a lightning bolt.
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| Posted by: mystic | | This thread can NOT go on without at least a couple pei mei quotes:
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Whidden said in this post #105
Pai Mei find marriage idea bad one.
Getting married very much like going to restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. |
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Whidden said in this post #21
Many ways to get rid of unwanted house guest.
Put strong laxitive in relatives fish heads and rice, make entire stay bathroom trip. Never show up again.
If do not work, put raw chicken leg in trunk of auto, should smell up car nicely.
If still unwanted relative persist in vistit, releash the move of the resplendent shadow tiger neck-snap. Relative visit you in wheel chair after that.
Remember: Once bitten by a snake, he/she is scared all his/her life at the mere sight of a rope.
Pai Mei has spoken, use power of Pai Mei's word for good.
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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chodder said this in post #18 :
I hate people who hate hamster pictures! |
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| Posted by: mystic | | Regarding Michael Jackson's outfit one day at trial:
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Oneofpeace said in this post #54
Well if he had on red he would be very patriotic. Red, bleached white, and blue. |
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| Posted by: mystic | | One of many HECK quotes...
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HECK said in this post #3
"You know, he hasn't eaten in three years..."
"Yeah, and is that his skeleton I see?"
"I think so."
"Sure does stink in there."
"Yeah."
"Wanna call the cops?"
"Nah. Let's wait and see."
-HECK! |
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| Posted by: mystic | | I have to add this because I just got done laughing when I read it...
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Fuscia said in this post #8
I think the prosecution was onto something when they said if you sleep with someone for 365 nights, it is a relationship. |
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| Posted by: Dekka00 | | Preston Likely is a complete ass.
But still, his posts make laugh so freakin hard sometimes
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Preston Likely said this in post #183 :
As a Liberal I won't allow you to make lazy, half-baked statements. I'll pin you down and expose you as being a hopeless fraud. I'll have you drinking from my beautiful armpits by the end of the month.
Preston |
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| Posted by: mystic | | I love this thread...I wish this would have been around a long time ago because now I have to remember all the posts that had me laughing...
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Whidden said in this post #29
I wish Mystic would get back from Cali, and let us know how her trip went.
(from last year) |
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| Posted by: mystic | | Regarding Kendra from the Apprentice:
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HECK said in this post #45
Is it just me or does this chick move her mouth too much when she talks. I feel like I'm watching Mr. Ed when she goes into a diatribe. |
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| Posted by: fuscia | |
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Larke2000 said in post #1
as always, if you have any questions, comments, problems, useless trivia, or pictures of hamsters in provocative poses, my office... uh... pm inbox is always below quota.
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And that is how the hamster stuff began.
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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gaboman said this in post #57 :
Discuss it like crazy, and make up nut-ball theories about Anakin not really being Luke and Leia's father... since Padmé was getting with Obi Wan at the same time.
On a similar note, Old Ben came to me in a dream last night and told me to the 'Force Was With Me'... what do you think he meant by that? |
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| Posted by: Dekka00 | |
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KJ said this in post #1
Okay guys.... remember her posting her pictures in here of her with her daughter and then one of her husband and son? And her cat too?
OH PLEASE!!! I went and met her yesterday. This woman is MENTAL!!!!
She's some trailer trash, almost 400lb psycho, living alone.
Her children, you ask? Well, it was a pet rat and a cockatoo.
Her husband, you ask? He's been dead for over 3 years. How did I find this out? SHE TOLD ME! And guess what? He didn't just "die," he was killed. By who? How? She wouldn't reveal that.
Heidi and I walked in to her TRAILER and it was nasty. She's a chain smoking freak... so, it was like walking into a bar or casino. I could barely see, or breathe. She had trash ALL OVER the place. There were news clippings of different people who had been victims of various crimes cut out and pinned up all over her walls. It was disgusting.
I don't think that she will be back on here. Who knows. But, we will have to see. Man, I shouldn't have gone over to her house... because she was fun to talk to on here. She was even really nice on the phone too. I wondered why I would never hear kids playing in the back ground, or I never heard Mr. F (Ron) speaking or anything.
I'm just letting you know all of this so that you will be aware about this information. Don't let her fool you... please. |
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| Posted by: kiana*b2kangel* | | ooh i love this quote: "Life is like a sexually transmitted disease" | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: Pippin | |
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Wolf_eyes said this in post #53 :
Actually, my mom sent me to jedi school when I was five because, "that's not a lightsaber son, but if you're going to keep messing with it, you'd might as well learn how to use one."
There I was trained not by yoda, but by yoda's seldom-seen aunt Jean, who, among other things, taught me rare force powers like: force knitting, force ear-pulling, force tea making, and the deadly force complaining. Jean is a true master of the force, but, as happens with the best teacher-student relationships, I eventually surpassed her and created my own force powers, including: force drinking, force passing out, and force hangover cure.
My 'grunt work' included several trips to the intergalatic water-cooler for refreshments, brewing space coffee extra strong, and filing jedi TPS reports. Eventually though, despite a few concerns over innapropriate jedi robe apparel (I often favored the 'open-front padawan robe'), I was granted the rank of master, in order to better serve the balance of the force. I was granted the title "weapons master", due to my uh...weapon handling.
I never force choke anyone, as I consider it a route to the dark side, but I once force-heimlich-manuevered a senator when his Rodian sweet and sour chicken caught in his throat. Opening beer with a lightsaber is overkill, and can cause dreade spillage to the unksilled, and so I mastered force drink-mixing instead. Unsupsecting politicians aside, I also enjoy mind-bending important public figures into clucking into microphones, and making girls dresses do that marilyn monroe thing. Yes, it is indeed a good life, and despite the occasional loss of limb due to hordes of paparazzi, uh, I mean sith, I enjoy protecting the universe and maintaining balance in the force.
On a side note, I have recently taken on a padawan, and am instructing him in the ways of the Jedi, including spelling your name in the snow with pee.
May the force be with you.
Wolf eyes, Jedi weapons master |
And is followed by
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Wolf_eyes said this in post #54 :
This is Wolf eyes' attorney, and I hereby apologize for his actions and words. Wolf has been under a lot of stress lately due to 'personal and galactic concerns', and retracts any offensive material previously published. He is sincerely sorry to any he may have offended with the aforementioned statement, and has checked in to jedi rehab to reuinte himself with the force. thank you
Ford Prefect, attorney at law, space traveler, towel holder |
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| Posted by: Mr. F | | KJ said:
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 Mr Fuscia... nice to meet you!!! This is me... I'm a dancing banana!!! No really, I am.... see, I live in Hillcrest here in San Diego... and I'm a fruit!!!!!
Just wanted to say Hi and it's nice to see ya posting on here, along with Sherry.
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I already knew she was a fruit, this is when I figured out she was also a nut. (suddenly Im hungry for breakfast cereal) | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: fuscia | | Dekka, you will be voted INR member most likely to dig up funny posts.
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| agent mike said in post # 24 <Mike sniffs curiously> Yep, that's the smell of indecency slowly settling on us all. |
Dang I miss that guy. He was so much fun.  | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: Dekka00 | | Whidden making fun of raven200!!! (and his excessive use of exclamation points!!!)
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Whidden said this in post #21]
I must say your use of explanation points is quite impressive.
Here!!
Let me try it!!!
It's so much fun!!
I will go read those threads and see if you have anything intelligent to say in there.
My hopes are up!!
I'm about!!
To read something with fact in it!!!
***Idiot Whidden goes away to research other threads*** |
good stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: mystic | | This is truly classic! ROTFLMAO
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HECK said in this post #9
Yeah, they need to tone down 'Cookie Monster'. Let's get passed the fact it's a silly looking puppet and focus on his Sesame Street cohorts:
The Count- a vampire with an obvious obsessive compulsive fixation on numbers. But it's okay to have a soulless, blood-sucking creature of the night teaching your kids.
Oscar The Grouch- a homeless, green freak who lives in a trash can and talks crap to everyone. He's about a ham sandwich away from stabbing someone with a rusty fork.
Bert & Ernie- a ambiguously gay duo living together for over 30 years telling us over and over again that they're just 'best friends.'
Need I go on?
-HECK! |
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| Posted by: mystic | | Regarding Robert Blake and who might have killed Bonnie:
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Fuscia said in this post #10
The cockatoo is suspiciously absent. I say he did it and is off on an island with some cheap locals.  |
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| Posted by: Flutterbywingz | | This one did it for me.
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gaboman said this in post #1 :
I need you all to help me and give some advice on what could be a life altering decision.
I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been having an affair. The usual signs... Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started "going out with the girls" a lot recently, although when I ask which girls, I get "just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive, although I can hear a car setting off, as if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with her. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was whilst crouched behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch.
Should I take it into a body repair shop or buy some stuff from the local auto shop and try to repair it myself? Please help, I'm desperate. |
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| Posted by: fuscia | |
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Chodder said in Flamers Ward :~ yOu KnOw WhAt WaSss DuMbb...
ThHee guYys WaAlkEd aRoUnD hOldInG A giAnt stIck wItH A fLaG. I mEAn hOw dUumb doO yoU haVE To bEE! IT IS lIkE a taRGet SCreAMinG ShOoot Me!!! AnD tHeY dOn'T eVeN HaVe A WeAponn On THeM... wHat thEy shoUlD havE doOne waAs StraP A Flaaag oN tHe eNd of Thierrr Gun. NOW ThAt iS ShmaRt!!! ~
scuS Me iF I’mmm a litTle tipsy ~
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| Posted by: Youdontlikeme | |
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Larke2000 said this in post #49 :
would anyone else agree that chihuahua snot tastes remarkably like asparagus? or is it just me?  |
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| Posted by: fuscia | |
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Dekka said in the Espanglish thread:
this is what yo pienso sobre su gato:
su gato es un boligrafo y una sacapuntas!
so take that!!!
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Yep. INR's first flame in spanglish, and it was for my cat. 
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| Posted by: HECK! | | Whidden, I can't believe you haven't posted that infamous box cutter quote...
-HECK! | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: Pippin | |
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chodder said this in post #473 :
I LOVE how this thread is still alive. Wo0t! I hate fat people. They anger me. Getting all up in my way and taking all my air. I just wanna roll em down a hill |
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| Posted by: Sierradaddy | | My quotes suck. I'll NEVER get posted in here unless I do it myself... | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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HECK said this in post #45 :
Whidden, I can't believe you haven't posted that infamous box cutter quote...
-HECK! |
Which one, I'm drawing a blank. I can't remember two years worth of quotes!!! 
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| Posted by: fuscia | |
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SierraDaddy said in post # 72: I think Chewie would make a great pirate...
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| Posted by: Dekka00 | | I remember, I found it
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fizz_fantasy said this in post #96 :
I carry a razor blade and box cutter EVERYWHERE I go. I even take it to church in case a ho wanna get buck |
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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Preston Likely said this in post #396 :
Nice try, pal about the "change of subject" nonsense.
Yes, I understand that statement about the 900 Iraqis, 113%. It couldn't be more diaphanous if it hit me right between my fat eyes balls.
Now, could you stop circumventing my previous well-endowed post before I consider you a thought coward.
Yours impatiently
Preston |
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| Posted by: HECK! | |
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Dekka00 said this in post #52 :
I remember, I found it
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That's it, freakin' comedy.
Come on now, Whidden... we were cracking up about that through PM for days.
-HECK!
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| Posted by: flying panda | | drink some more, get to your notmal state, and you might remember
I have a theory, when your sober (also known as not drunk to those of you who dont know) you remember stuff from when you were sober ... and when your drunk, you remember stuff from when you were drunk ... and that includes spelling for most ya'all guys ... (and me) ... and theres no inbotween, just a cloudy hazz | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: Sierradaddy | |
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fuscia said this in post #50 :
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Thenkyooo fuscia. I feel whole now...
Well, maybe not quite yet, but that's something I'm working out in therapy.
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| Posted by: HECK! | |
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flying panda said this in post #57 :
drink some more, get to your notmal state, and you might remember
I have a theory, when your sober (also known as not drunk to those of you who dont know) you remember stuff from when you were sober ... and when your drunk, you remember stuff from when you were drunk ... and that includes spelling for most ya'all guys ... (and me) ... and theres no inbotween, just a cloudy hazz |
Oh yes, that theory is sound. I subscribe to a similar one myself. Basically, there is Sober HECK and Drunk HECK. Drunk HECK meets new people, talks crap, whatever, and Sober HECK has no idea. Only Dunk HECK remembers. And to be honest, it's probably better that way. Drunk HECK is a bit of a bastard.
-HECK!
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| Posted by: flying panda | | well let me tell you, Pandas dont fly very well drunk ... all those trees give me head achs | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: fuscia | |
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Dekka said in one of the surveys: 5. Socks, colored or just white? what kind of a RACIST QUESTION IS THIS? All people, colored or white, should be allowed to wear socks.
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Sorry, but that one is just a riot. I had no idea that was coming. I think I choked on my soda. 
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| Posted by: Sayzak | |
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InsJustin5900 said this in post #9 :
THE SQUEEGEES ARE COMING!!! ------- THE SQUEEGEES ARE COMING!!! |
This is a matrix quote for those of you who aren't already framilliar with it's originial thread. This quote (as well as about a dozen others in the same thread) had quite a few people in stiches!
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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Marc Flemming said this in post #8 :
you all can go to hell. (tee hee) *ahem* |
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| Posted by: Pippin | |
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HECK said this in post #21 :
Hey Whidden, is there a 'Posts Deleted out of spite' statistic for you?
-HECK! |
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| Posted by: Pippin | |
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adityamahesh said this in post #181 :
Remember, give a man a chicken and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to hunt, and you have screwed the whole forest. |
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| Posted by: Larke2000 | | a-class thread right here whidden. great idea. can't wait to go and dig up some gems.
and i thought that "chihuahua snot" comment was dead and buried. how in the world did you dig that up? | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: mystic | |
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Pippin said this in post #66 :
adityamahesh said this in post #181 :
Remember, give a man a chicken and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to hunt, and you have screwed the whole forest. |
That is funny! I remember that saying!!
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| Posted by: Sierradaddy | | I like this one:
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Pippin said this in post #8757 :
Three weeks ago I carved a Viking ship out of a potato. I'm afraid she's staring to curl |
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| Posted by: Dekka00 | | I don't know why I find this so funny.
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Advance said this in post #20 :
1- The UN has no place in Iraq.
2- Dekka, you are probally the most Anti-American on this forum.
3- If we let the Arabs deal with the Arabs, we get another 9/11.
And if you call the American Dream spoiled, yeah, we are spoiled. |
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| Posted by: brochu13 | | "If we let Arabs deal with Arabs we get another 9/11"
Is he saying that all arabs are supporters of left wing Radicals hell-bent on American destruction? I certainly hope not.
A little OT, but if you just listen to the Joe Namath and Suzy Kolber interview, it's a classic. "I don't care that the team is struuuggglling, I wanna kiss you..." | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: Pippin | | Don't know if we are supposed to post quotes by ourselves, but I like this one I said:
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Pippin said this in post #1795 :
One day in ecology we were singing when we were planting trees. We rocked out to the Beatles for a long time, then Pink Floyd, then the Spice Girls. Everyone was singing. I loved it, and I love the Spice Girls movie. Then I went home and listened to their tape and I realized something. They suck! |
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| Posted by: Pippin | |
| quote: |
Sierradaddy said this in post #10 :
When Jin was gone, Sun realized she was free to wear her bathing suit again. She decided that if she was gonna be stranded on a hot sweaty tropical island with a menacing howling creature, 40+ strangers, and no husband, she would at least get a nice, even tan. Sun also became friends with Shannon, the ditzy blonde user who sometimes remembers how to understand and read french, but cries like a sick baby everytime she does.
Sayid, usually steady, low-key and level-headed, finds Sun's friendship with Shannon intrusive, because Shannon doesn't spend enough time right at his side. Jealous and getting more and more "frustrated", Sayid ponders a sick and twisted scheme... "Long ago I made a promise to myself, that I would never again do what I'm about to do to Sun. Oh well...."
I don't know why, but usually my stories contain some form of violence... This was supposed to be a little tale about how Sun gets uninhibited and chooses to wear her bikini all day and all night, and now Sayid's gonna go torture her... What's wrong with me?....... 
Well, at least Sun's wearing the bikini...  |
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| Posted by: flying panda | |
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Whidden said this in post #76 :
Inreview is a two and a half year gold mine of awesome quotes, specially from the old timers, that I never even knew, like Helen55 and Bitzwiz.
Them was some hardcore posters, lots of Bitzwiz nuggets out there.
Course he was banned!
Got to full of himself probably. |
i better be carfull then and learn from his eggsample ... hope im not as full of myself ... my gordious, loveable self ...
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| Posted by: Dekka00 | |
| quote: |
Sayzak said this in post #4 :
I can honestly say I see a lot of misdirected hostility in you. Perhaps a cat, or a lava lamp would do you some good. Or even better: A Nice long vacation. |
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| Posted by: Dekka00 | |
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chodder said this in post #290 :
dude, if i had one tooth i would wax it. i would take care of it more than i would my dog. my dog would be all muddy and smelly, but my tooth would be like a pearl  |
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| Posted by: adityamahesh | |
| quote: |
Preston Likely said this in post #30 :
Poor little Curley Joke, the withered nettle in the lush field of reason.
My hand rests heavily upon my heart hoping that Curleyshire soon acquires wisdom before he disappears up his own delicate root system.
Preston, the head gardener in the field of debate |
Preston is pretentious par excellence, but his jems always make me laugh.
M.
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| Posted by: Dekka00 | |
| quote: |
adityamahesh said this in post #128 :
Of course everything is my fault. I broke everyone's glasses, I kicked Shadow and Dekka in the groin, I shaved Whidden's head bald, I painted Fuscia's house a bright pink (why do you think she is painting it?), I emptied Heck's fridge of beer (he keeps a few wine coolers too), I blew Pippin's fake giant egg to smithreens, I infected Panda's computer with malicious viruses, I kidnapped Gabo's dogs and dropped them off all over the place in Taiwan, I shred Sierradaddy's book of Shakespearean insults to bits, I billed all my 900 calls to Spaliznad's home, etc. etc.
So don't tell me it is my fault. I already know it is.
M. |
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| Posted by: Dekka00 | | (7/20/2005)
HECK V III
Preston Likely IIII
Larke2000 IIII
adityamahesh IIII
Whidden IIII
chodder IIII
Dekka IIII
gaboman III
SierraDaddy III
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HECK, by far, has the some of the most memoriable quotes | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: Dekka00 | | there must be something wrong. Preston, InsJustin had some f'n gems. And chelktty is not on there at all. She had some gems | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: Sierradaddy | |
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HECK said this in post #88 :
I rule all.
-HECK! |
Well, yeah, if you're really COUNTING...
Actually, if we really are counting, then I should point out that I really have ONLY TWO (2) quotes here. That's 2 more than I expected, so take that.
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| Posted by: HECK! | | So technically, you're up 200% from your original mark. Sweet
-HECK! | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: Sierradaddy | | See what happens when you aim low?
[DISCLAIMER] The above quote is not representative of the Canadian government, and they do not in anyway share my viewpoint on this subject. Thank you. Carry on... | | Reply To this Message
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| Posted by: Whidden | |
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Preston Likely said this in post #636 :
Putting Bush in a cage would be like a home-coming to him, being of simian extraction.
Preston, the zoo keeper. |
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| Posted by: Pippin | |
| quote: |
Pippin said this in post #35 :
Some day I will figure out where all this bumping it up came from, and then I will be on the inside of this inside joke |
Maybe I'm the only one, but I think what I said here was really funny.
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Panda, some day I will track you down and paint for face like this so that you will finally draw as much attention to yourself as you are wanting right now