Shiavo's final moments with husband

Euthanasia/Right to Die Forum

PINELLAS PARK, Fla. -- In the end, Terri Schiavo was with her husband, his lawyers and her beloved stuffed animals -- but not her own flesh and blood.

Schiavo's parents and siblings had fought bitterly for years against her husband's efforts to have her feeding tube removed and to end her life. A final flare-up in that acrimonious struggle prompted Michael Schiavo to eject his wife's brother and sister from her hospice room just minutes before she breathed her last breath.

Early Wednesday, with her breathing becoming rapid to labored, and her limbs mottled with red splotches, it became clear that she was entering the last stages of her life. Michael Schiavo's attorney, George Felos, arrived at the hospice around 10:30 a.m. that day and, uncharacteristically, didn't leave.

At some point Wednesday evening, Mrs. Schiavo's breathing became very labored and "we thought the end might be near," said Felos, himself a hospice volunteer. A hospice worker repositioned Schiavo, and that eased her breathing, Felos said.

Michael Schiavo spent the night in a small room down the hall from his wife's, as he had every night for the past two weeks. When his wife's family wanted to visit her, he would leave the room.

This detente worked reasonably well until 8:45 a.m. Thursday, when hospice officials asked Bobby Schindler and his sister, Suzanne Vitadamo, to leave the room while they did an assessment. At that point, a clearly distraught Schindler got into an argument with one of the officers guarding the room, Felos said.

"We want to be in the room when she dies," the Rev. Frank Pavone, a family supporter, quoted Bobby Schindler as saying.

Michael Schiavo's attorney, George Felos, said the husband's "overriding concern here was to provide for Terri a peaceful death with dignity."

Around this same time, hospice workers went to Michael Schiavo and told him if he wanted to see his wife before she died, "You'd better come right now."

Michael Schiavo cradled his wife as she clutched a stuffed tabby cat under one of her horribly contracted arms. Looking on were Felos, another attorney, Michael Schiavo's brother, Brian, and several of the hospice workers who had cared for her during her five-year stay there.

A bouquet of white lilies and roses perfumed the room.

Around 9 a.m., Terri Schiavo was dead. Her parents, Bob and Mary Schindler, were not on the hospice grounds.

After some time, Michael Schiavo left and allowed the Schindler family to visit with her body. He told them they could take any item from the room that they wanted.

When the Schindlers left, hospice workers bathed Terri Schiavo's body. Michael went to see her one last time before turning her over to the medical examiner for an autopsy.

As she lay on a medical examiner's gurney, about 40 hospice workers formed a circle around her and held their own remembrance.

Around 11 a.m., as protesters outside the hospice gathered around to hear word of her death, two vans slipped out of the hospice grounds, each in a different direction. The person they had fought so hard for had gone.

I think it's obvious why Terri's family wasn't present in the room now when she passed. So many people are quick to label Shiavo as "Heartless", but when at any time did the Shindler family extend the olive branch or attempt to be civil during the time of Terri's death? Certainly getting into a heated confrontation with the officer outside Terri's room is the reason the family was ejected from the room.

Thanks chelktty for helping to clear this up. The first story that was put out about Terri’s death was how Mike wouldn’t let them in to see their daughter. After hearing Mike’s lawyer speak earlier today about it, once again Mike was painted as this horrible guy by the Schindlers.

Do you not see a pattern here Heavens? Why is it that so much character assassination is being launched from one side of the camp and not the other? Now I know the Schindlers are feeling grief but in my opinion it speaks to the character of that family. Not one of them has been able to call the others into check with their unending nonsense.

Mike’s lawyer said it was a split second decision. That Mike was down the hall laying down and the hospice nurse told him he need to get down to the room because Terri was entering her last stages.

It was the nurse that asked her brother to leave the room so they can assess the situation. He became irate and she had to have officers hold him back. She then called Mike and told him of the situation and he then decided not to let them in because he said he wanted Terri’s last moments to be free from that nonsense.

Now again I ask. With all the character assassinations going around it seems that Mike once again was thinking of Terri. Given the animosity between these two families, there’s simply no way they could have been in that room at the same time.

It’s more than about both sides putting their differences aside. It only takes one, one person to mess everything up for everyone else.

You may have dissenting opinion about Mike’s private decision about Terri but it is he who has shown the most integrity throughout this entire ordeal.

VERY WELL PUT, oneofpeace... Mike showed a lot of integrity throughout it all. He wasn't "mud slinging" and saying that her family did this, or said that.... He just tried to carry out his wife's wishes. Nothing more... nothing less.

Sorry, wrong forum...

I was responding to Terry just passed away forum. When I logged in I clicked the wrong link and responded.

Great post oneofpeace! Kris you're right on target too. While one side of this sad situation has done nothing more than preserve the dignity of a person's right to choose their own passing, the other has made this private matter into a 3 ring circus.

It is good that Terri can finally be at peace. Hopefully her family can find peace as well with one another because that is the only way Terri will truly find any. It was wise of Michael not to allow the rest of her family in the room at the time of her death. What a terrible end to this situation that would have been to have so much tension around her as she was passing on.

God bless you, Terri, and rest in peace!

Agreed niwrad. Problem is Heavens, the Schindlers created this circus now you want to protest because it’s out of hand?

Why you would reduce it to “not allowing to see your child” is beyond me, especially when you know that room would have lit up like fireworks. How you can even question why Mike didn’t want Terri’s last moments to end like that shows pure lack of understanding.

Mary and Bob Shindler were never denied access to Terri during her passing. They weren't even at the hospice. Bobby Shindler, Terri's brother, got into a confrontation with one of the hospice administrators when they asked to clear the room to assess Terri's condition and then the officer outside of Terri's room. Had Bobby not flown off the handle and created a heated and stressful situation, whose to say that Michael Shiavo would have denied him access to his sister in her final moments?

During this incredibly difficult time for both sides, even with the Shindlers labeling Michael everything from an abusive spouse, to a murderer who caused her condition, to a Nazi, to an evil entity that will burn in hell....despite their treatment of him, he's gone out of his way to allow them access to Terri during her final days. He hasn't lashed out or made any of the kinds of accusations that the Schindlers have made against him. Knowing the animosity and strain in the relationship he would leave the room to allow Terri's family time to visit with her. He's bent over backwards to accomadate them while trying to adhere to Terri's wishes and he's done it all while they attempted to turn the world against him. He's faced constant scrutiny from total strangers and death threats against himself and his family.

Yet through all of that and the fact that Terri's brother created a heated confrontation while Terri was slipping away and people still expect him to roll over and accomadate the family more?? He could have ceased their contact with them alltogether. He could have denied them access to her this morning before her death. He could have, but he didn't. Yes a compromise should have been reached, but when have the Schindlers EVER made an effort or attempt at doing so??

Perhaps if Bobby hadn't acted out, he would have been present when Terri drew her last breath. But I guess now we'll never know.

chelktty
This behavior clearly shows who a person would have wanted to be their legal guardian, IMO.

Michael was smart to have a cop there.

With all the allegations the Schindlers have been making, who knows what they could have dreamed up to accuse him of more "wrongdoing" without the authorities as a witness.

I agree with you both. You don't want to start arguing in front of a woman in her final moments, regardlesss of her condition.

-HECK!

They could have sat silently with Terri: Michael on one side of the bed, Terri's mother and father on the other side, they didn't have to speak to eachother or even acknowledge each other if they didn't want to.

I honestly can't believe that things got that bad that they couldn't even stand to be in the same room to say a final good bye to a woman who they all loved. It is such a shame.

I truly truly hope that Terri had no idea of the situation and what was going on and who was or wasn't there. It is just heartbreaking.

Emma, Terri's parents were not at the hospice at the time of her passing. There is no way to know if they would have been allowed in. Bobby was causing a disturbance. Most hospitals will not let someone in if they are out of control. The priest has spewed nothing but hatred at Michael. He was wise to exclude him from the room as well. Terri passed from this life in the arms of the man she married and loved. Now isn't that better than passing with a room full of acrimony and hate?

Well said Sherry!

Chelkitty and fuscia, I do not understand why people cannot see the points you two have solidly made here.

Schmigg, with respect to your posting I agree with what you’ve said. However I must say that the reason for the situation degenerating to that state appears to rest on the Schindlers. As Chel had pointed out earlier, he bent over backwards to accommodate them, including allowing them to visit Terri whenever they wanted despite him being accused of barring them from the room on several occasions.

Given any normal circumstance, I could understand allowing them in during the last moments but this situation was everything but normal. Right up until the last moments, Mike was called cold blooded and heartless by the Schindlers and now after Terri’s passing, they are still generating acrimony.

I just don’t understand how anyone could expect Mike to do anything different under the circumstances. And anyone who believes he would rather endure all of this than simply let her go because of dubious reasons, well I don’t know what else you all would need to satisfy the appetites for his head.