Custody Clash

Same Sex Marriage Forum

Former Same-Sex Couple Work Through Confusing Custody Battle Over Twin Girls
ABCNews.com
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/GMA/...y_040324-1.html
March 24 — Against the backdrop of the nation's cultural wars over same-sex marriages, one former same-sex couple is caught up in a fierce legal tug-of-war over rights to their twin girls.
Kim, who does not want her last name used, says she and her partner split up five years after they had twin girls together.

A fertility clinic provided Kim and her former partner with sperm and Kim provided the eggs. Her former partner provided the womb, and that's why a judge ruled she is entitled to sole custody.

Meanwhile, Kim, the twins' genetic mother, says she and her former partner never intended to raise the girls separately.

"We both wanted to have children very much," Kim said on ABCNEWS' Good Morning America. "And we really, truly believed that we found the one partner in each other," she said.

Unclear Territory

Kim said that she and her former partner exchanged rings and raised the girls together for five years after they were born. She says they considered themselves married, although they could not legally be married in the state of California.

When they split, the designated birth mother moved to Massachusetts with the girls. Kim went to court to obtain shared custody, but her attempt was unsuccessful

Judge Randolph E. Heubach of Marin County Superior Court said he deeply regretted that the evidence presented to him did not allow him to rule any other way.

In his ruling, the judge wrote, "The court recognizes the harsh consequences this decision will visit upon the innocent children born of the parties' unusual arrangement."

Kim's attorney, Jill Hersh, says the judge's decision was largely based on a medical form that was signed by Kim just before her eggs were harvested.

Meanwhile, Kim said she didn't know that she was waiving her rights to adopt the babies by signing the form.

"This was a form that… didn't even pertain to us, because embedded in this form it spoke to never attempting to discover the recipient [of the eggs]," Kim said.
Unspoken Agreements

Hersh says the form was meant for couples who receive eggs from an anonymous donor and that it didn't apply to Kim and her former partner's procedure, since they were going through the process together, without a unknown donor.

Kim, whose uterus could not support a pregnancy, says she never attempted to legally adopt the twins before she and her former partner split because she never assumed it would become an issue, considering the girls came from her own eggs.

Kim's former partner has said, through her attorney, that she and Kim decided together that the twins would be raised by her. The woman's attorney has said that Kim served the same functions as a step-parent in their home.

Hersh, a family law attorney who argued the case before a state appellate court in San Francisco last month, says that Kim would have never agreed with an arrangement that would have left her former partner with sole custody.

A decision is the case is expected in the next week.

That's just so sad... hopefully there will be a decision made by the courts that will allow both women to have shared custody over their children.

But if they have DNA testing it will be proven that she is the biological mother and don't biological parents have higher rights than birth parents? Just because the other woman gave birth to the girls does not make them hers. Legally, they belong to the egg doner and the sperm doner don't they?

But still it would be nice if they could come to an agreemnt between themselves to share the children, I feel so sorry for the kids in situations like this.

no man. I think carrying a baby for nine months is puts you a little bit closer to the baby than donations.

I mean, what if the sperm doner got in on this? It would be ridiculous.

I think what Schmig may have meant was that when a couple uses a serogate mother, (a woman to carry the embryo to term from a donated egg and sperm) the serogate, while carrying the baby to term, bonding with it's body and going through the pain of delivery and labor, the child is still the legal custody of the parents who donated the egg and sperm. Serogate mothers have no legal rights to the child due to arrangments with the law, although most parents allow the serogate mother to visit occasionally. I think this case is sad and I hope for the sake of the twins, that the mothers work out some kind os fair arrangment.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a sad case. Not the last of it's sort I am sure.

I agree with Schmiggens, the biological mother does have higher rights than those of the surrogate mother, which Kim's ex, happens to be in this case. What pisses me off the most is that it seems as if Kim's ex is being a vengenful biatch by refusing to sort this out outside of court. Kim raised the babies with her for 5 years....... and now she says that this woman should have NO RIGHTS to her children.............. excuse me but F you!!!!

I feel for the kids in any situation like this one

Hopefully these girls will have a good sense of humor.

I come from a somewhat dysfunctional home, and in a way I am greatful because it taught me to look at the most important aspects of life. It doesn't matter how ordinary your life is, or how well you "fit in" to society. As long as you are loved growing up, you could be raised by elephants (ok maybe not) and still be a level headed and happy individual some day.