A little on topic humor

Same Sex Marriage Forum

This came to me in an email and it made me laugh.. ..it also brings up some interesting equal protection issues.

Happy Friday all!!



"Next."
"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."
"Names?"
"Tim and Jim Jones."
"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."
"Yes, we're brothers."
"Brothers? You can't get married."
"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest?" No, we are not gay."
"Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."
"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"
"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."


"Hi. We are here to get married."
"Names?"
"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."
"Who wants to marry whom?"
"We all want to marry each other."
"But there are four of you!"
"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can
express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."
"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."
"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"
"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."
"Since when are you standing on tradition?"
"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."
"Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"

"All right, all right. Next."
"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."
"In what names?"
"David Deets."
"And the other man?"
"That's all. I want to marry myself."
"Marry yourself? What do you mean?"
"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."
"That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!"

I'll give you an "A" for effort and "D" for content . This was clearly an email circulated to drum up the fear that allowing same sex marriage will lead to all kinds of other perversions of the sanctity of marriage. I'm surprised that a man didn't enter with his dog or sheep.

Ohhhh dear, a sheep indeed would be funny!!

I appreciate the content for it's humor as well as it's logical questions about what really is equal rights and equal protection. These are all questions that need to be looked carefully at under the current climate. I don't really like to reveal my oppinions on these types of things but I will say that I'm not camping on the right wing of the camp ground on this one.

It's not really funny. More like a joke that people smirk at and just kind of delete it without hesitation from their Inbox.

That's OK, you have your opinion about it and I have mine, that being it made me laugh. It will no doubt make countless others laugh, who no doubt will choose to not post a comment and thus unleash the inpending onslaught of descent.

Why do you have to think so negative? This place is full of great people and if someone reads that and thinks its funny, they will post and say they liked it. It just so happens that this place it pretty big and sometimes it takes a while for people to get around because there are so many posts to read and respond to.

I think it has value because it represents a satarical takeoff on the gay marriage debate that is currently raging around the world. It also may cause some to change their ingrained views on that subject. Our country was founded on freedom. Remember that.

Well I only said that, funny enough, satirically to make a point about what I've found to be a consistent hammering of anything I post that even remotely shows a point of view. As well as the whole 'opinion vs fact' arguement.

I love opinions, all types of opinions So long as people recognize them as such it doesn't really matter what they are, other than personal views. But when people say things like "It's not really funny....." It stirs the smart ass in me to call you on your choices of words to state an opinion, as your statement is written as if it were fact.

You know funny enough I am dead set against any constitutional amendment to give unequal rights, as Bush has suggested. I think this cleverly crafted bit of humor I posted if anything shows the fundamental problem with mixing government with personal lives. Domestic partners of any type whether they be husband wife, mother daughter, brothers, close friends or whatever I feel should be allowed equal access to tax benefits and the like. I don't think that marriage should come into play on such a thing. I feel strongly that when the government uses marriage as a tool to exclude or include people from rights it causes major problems. This is something I have personal experience in though in a completely different area of the law. It involves the INS and how they have essentially destroyed my relationship with my fiancee, who really shouldn't even be my fiancee at this point but who is, because the INS won't let us be together any other way. Either way it's a giant mess and a HUGE part of that mess is down to the State using marriage as a tool to deny equal rights.

If people were allowed to be domestic partners with out having to be married, 99% of this whole argument would simply go away. Then if Marriage was not mixed up with the law as it is and was more of a contract between 2 individuals and didn't involve the state then it wouldn't be such a traumatic thing politically if gay marriage occurred.

In closing.. ..I believe strongly in freedom and equal rights. I respect everyones opinions (though I can't say I agree with too many LOL) & I'm a smart ass to the end.

nthooze that was an excellent post! I too have witnessed the discrimination inflicted by the INS and the courts. It's not right when someone is living in this country, making a contribution to society, paying taxes and having a child who's an American citizen, only to be told by the court that they don't have equal rights because they are not naturalized citizens. It's This country was founded on immigration and most immigrants here now are harder working than some of the "natural" Americans who pop out baby after baby, sitting on their ever spreading asses and collecting welfare checks.

I think the post brings up extremely good points that the courts need to consider. Yes, it was funny to me too, but for a different reason. Someone used humor to show the direction they think (their opinion which one is allowed to have) the gay marriage "equal rights" issue will take us. That is, anyone wanting equal rights for whatever their opinion of equal rights should be.

The problem we're going to run into is that everyone will find something they believe they are being discriminated against, and tort lawyers will have a field day.

So we go back to the democracy again. What do the MAJORITY of Americans want?

For those who lash out at the ones who are against equal rights in gay marriages, try to remember something. We have a right to be against what you want, as much as you have a right to be against what we want.

That's America!