Gay Marriages Question

Same Sex Marriage Forum

In what states are gay marriages legal- what states arent they legal?

Last time I heard it was legal in Massachusets. I remember reading some controversy about it a while ago. I may be wrong of course.

Almost 100% sure its legal in California. Don't know if I am correct though. You could always do a Google search and I’m sure you would find the answer to your question

Not legal in California. They do have partnership laws I think, you know where they can register as partners and get health insurance.

ive tried and tried to do google searchs. the only thing that would come up with was sites for all 50 states with all of their laws and i really didnt feel like going through all 50 states, when i could just post it on inreview and see if my friends from inreview knew anything about it

I heard awhile back that the only state it was legal in was Hawaii.

I had heard Hawaii too. I thought Vermont or one of those states recognized it too?

In Alabama it is illegal but i think in kentucky it is legal- i live in ohio and i dont even know if it is legal here lol

I did a search and found this. It is a news article from late 2003. It says the only US State that allows same sex marriage is Massachusetts.

I did some research and it appears that at present, it is illegal in all 50 states, though some states are in the process of trying to legalise it, but only a few.

Civil Unions seem to be legal in a few states.

It is legal in Hawaii but I dont believe it is in any othe state though. My cousin and her girlfriend got married here in nc. The had and ordained minister preform a hand fastening cermony.

Vermont is the ONLY state where same sex marriages are legal.
Here in California, we have what's known as a Domestic Partnership.
That's what Heidi and I have... we've been filed with the State for almost 4 years.
Hawaii has some rights, more than a lot of states do...
but, it's just Vermont that has passed the Union. It still isn't the same thing as a marriage.

Just wondering KJ, are you and Heidi the kind of people who go to rallys and things to push legislation for gay marriages through parliment and stuff?

Are you pro-active about your "choice of lifestyle"? Do you think that is what gays and lesbians need to get the marriage laws, etc passed?

Gays and Lesbians need 2 things to make equal right under the marriage laws work.

1. The gay community needs to stick together for this cause. And...

2. They need all of their Heterosexual friends and family standing by their side and working with them to make this an equal right.

Marriage is not about special rights, it is about equal treatment under the law. (not religion, the law).

Just my $.10 (inflation you know )

Georgia is in the process of redifining the marriage definition so that when this issues comes up, there will be no argument as to what our laws say. They are going to define marriage as one man and one woman.

So far it hasn't been brought up in our state to challenge it, but if they do.........

More info if you are interested.
Vermont offers Civil Unions that have all of the same legal implications as "marriage".

Same sex marriage is legal in the Netherlands and Belgium.

Same sex civil unions (with some restrictions) are legal in
Denmark
France
Iceland
Norway
Sweden
Greenland
Hungary
Spain

Oh, man! I forgot about our friendly neighbors to the north. Yay Canada.

Thanks KJ, you may have prevented an international incident.

Okay...

Its time to start legalizing gay marriages.....The type of inequality in not allowing this to happen should be a slap in the face to all Americans!!!!

here we have a Constitution saying that all men are created equal, yet I dont see anything in there that puts a restriction on that equality...so why is it that people try to restrict others?

How can we say that this is the land of the free, when we are continuously restricting people from being equal to others? Its preposterous!

A great man once said: The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law.

Its time to stop oppressing others.

Go Mystic! Go Mystic!

Go Mystic! Go Mystic!

Oh god... not the dancing banana's!!! This is a nightmare.

Me KJ

Life is fun when you are a dancing banana.

with purple sunglasses no less.
I luv it!

how do brown cows make chocolate milk?????

<--------- gettin' down to some fun-kay music baby --------->

They... I... err... I mean, "I don't know dek, how do brown cows make chocolate milk?" (you wanted me to set you up for a joke right?)

Guys, come on... this isn't WAY OFF TOPIC!

I agree with Mystic and KJ............ it is not about wrong or right but about EQUALITY.............. and then again just who the hell are some of us to tell others of what's wrong?? There's a saying that goes "dont cast stones if you live in a glass house" and I think that really ought to send a message across to us all.............. I live near Santa Monica which is a BIG gay community and I have no problem with homosexuals....... showing each other affecton or what have you........... why is it that others do?? People won't balk about a guy and a girl getting all lovey-dovey in the park but god forbid a gay couple decides to do it!!! It is all ............... in the country where "all men are created equal" it is HORRIBLE that gay couples are not given the same rights when it comes to marriage!!!

Erika - Amen Sister!

Thank you Michele and Erika. It's so wonderful to have people who are so willing to speak up, on the forefront of an issue that is so near to my heart. And Erika, I'm glad to know that someone like you, who lives in my state of California, will be someone that will speak up when it's time to vote this in.

You've both touched my heart today, deeply.

to be honest i dont see why there is such a big problem if you love someone enough to want to make a commitment to them you and your partners sex should be irrelevant

Ditto KJ................ if there is ever a need for a VERY outspoken person...... you know who to call!!!

and mrsdje...... welcome to the forum and THANKS for your very well said post!!!

no thanx required i call it as i see it i just think its so sad that people can object to something that really makes no difference to them im just so damn sick of this homophobic sociecty

Here here!!! I'm tired of it too... but, I know that everyone has the rights to their opinions and feelings and beliefs. I don't know 'em that... but I am tired of being pushed aside because someone says that if I marry my partner, I will affect them.

In today's news

Massachusetts gays won another major victory on Wednesday when the state's highest court told lawmakers to allow full-fledged marriage for gays and said anything less would make them "second-class" citizens.


Massachusetts' Supreme Judicial Court, whose landmark ruling last year struck down a state ban on same-sex marriage, said in an opinion that only marriages for gays, not civil unions, were valid under the state's constitution.


The court's 4-3 ruling echoed its November decision, and left no wiggle room for state lawmakers who were pushing for a law that would create civil unions -- essentially a parallel form of marriage for gays and lesbians.


The court said such civil unions would violate the constitution by perpetuating a "second-class citizen status" for gays and lesbians.


"The bill maintains an unconstitutional, inferior and discriminatory status for same-sex couples," the court said.


Paul Martinek, editor of Lawyers Weekly USA, said the ruling slammed the door shut on civil unions in Massachusetts.


"There's nothing the legislature can do to stop gay marriages from taking place in May," when the November ruling takes effect, Martinek said.


There was more...but I thought this was the most important point of the whole article.

Well.....all I can say is thank you Massachusetts for making it a point to show that all people are created equal and let us all give Mass. a fine welcome into the real world of today.....

Now that this has been finalised, I think other states would follow suit.

Oh my god... I'm sitting here at my desk at work with tears streaming down my face.
What an awesome message that has been sent out.
Thank you Massachusetts for setting a standard that I hope we're all soon to follow.
There is hope...

And I am asking myself, Why didn't I move to Boston 20 years ago?

Finally some progress.

Yes... what an amazing day it has been for the gay community.
Even President Bush giving a speech against this didn't upset me.

He actually gave a speech against it? Bush is a ****'ed **** 'in *****.

schmiggens... he is VERY strong in his convictions that marriage is a holy union between a man and a woman.
I don't feel that... obviously, but he does. What he thinks doesn't effect me. His actions though, do.
I will never support a President that opposes this, and does everything to stop it.
I will do everything to fight for these rights... to oppose a President, or any political canidate that continues to make me a second class citizen.

although I did not write this article, it does sum up my feelings;


http://www.bidstrup.com/marriage.htm

WOW... thanks, outsider. I loved that article. The very beginning really struck out to me:

"Ask just about anyone. They'll all tell you they're in favor of equal rights for homosexuals. Just name the situation, and ask. They'll all say, yes, gays should have the same rights in housing, jobs, public accomodations, and should have equal access to government benefits, equal protection of the law, etcetera, etcetera.

Then you get to gay marriage.

And that's when all this talk of equality stops dead cold.

Nearly three people in four in the U.S. oppose gay marriage, almost the same proportion as are otherwise supportive of gay rights. This means that many of the same people who are even passionately in favor of gay rights oppose gays on this one issue."

I found the link by accident, glad I did though, it is very well written.

Yes, it was, outsider... and it says so much! Thank you for sharing the link.

I believe that we've come a long way. There is still a long way to go, but we've made movement.

I have been looking at the news across the globe, so far BBC has the same story as us. I have been trying to find a Danish news site to hear their reaction. They seem to have the most experience with laws like Mass. so far.

well the hesitation isn't about rights (you may think it is, but they don't) it's about marriage. The question isn't "Do homosexuals have the right to get married?" but "Isn't marriage a union between a man and a woman?" It bothers them for the same reason a man married to two or three women bothers them.

I believe that marriage is the glue of the family and should happen between a man and a woman. It is not the 'next step' of a relationship, which is how many people seem to interpret it. But someone brought up here "why not let gay couples adopt? They can raise a perfectly healthy child." I can't really argue with that. My opinion has actually started to sway on this subject (started to, hasn't yet, but definitely gave it a good push).

From a purely legal standpoint, there's no reason why gay couples shouldn't be able to get married. All my opposition is based on religion and opinion and gut feeling. Since we live in America, we are supposed to set these feelings aside when making laws, but it's so hard to do.

But when we really get down to the bare-bones, if we really want to look at the pure truth of the matter, it boils down to this: It doesn't affect me; I don't care.

i agree with dekka on this one...and i don't think someone opposed to gay marriage means that they want to keep them as second class citizens...but thats just my *useless* opinion.

This is interesting, it accompanied a story about the Massechusetts (sp?) laws in the paper.

Gays Test Marriage Laws – The West Australian 06/02/2004

In a legal first, two Melbourne gay men who married in Canada are planning to apply to the Australian Courts to have their union recognised at home.

Jason and Adrian, both Australian citizens, flew to Canada last month and exchanged wedding rings and vows in a civil ceremony at Toronto’s City Hall.

Jason, 33 and Adrian, 30, are preparing to mount a Court challenge, probably in the Family Court, to have their same-sex marriage validated in Australia. The Brunswick couple, who identify themselves as Christians, say that are not “radical political activists”.

Until they met six years ago, neither had come out as a homosexual. But now they are determined to achieve formal recognition of their union and refer to each other as “my husband”.

“We see marriage as a lifetime commitment – just like every one else” Jason said. “We are a family now. We are very traditional in that sense”. The couple, who plan to have children, say they want to be considered equal to their heterosexual married friends. “We wanted to marry both as a statement to ourselves and top the community”, Adrian said. Although gay couples now hold their own informal commitment ceremonies, Australian Law makes no provision for same-sex marriage.

Prime Minister John Howard is strongly opposed to the idea, and the opposition party has also shelved an amendment to the party’s platform that would have given gay partners equal legal status to married couples.

Green leader Senator Bob Brown, who is gay and supports same sex marriages, wished the men well in their legal challenge.

The validity of overseas gay marriages has not yet been tested in the Australian Courts. Family Law professor Regina Graycar of Sydney University said: “I wouldn’t be so confident that a Court would recognise such marriages, but I wouldn’t rule it out”.

Bill Muehlenberg of the Australian Family Association said validating gay unions would radically revolutionise marriage. “If we gave in one this one, we might as well give the whole game away”, he said.

Victorian Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby co-convener David McCarthy acknowledged that it was a grey area, but the group supported the move to have overseas marriages recognised. “Its battle that has to be had”, he said.
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Do you have this problem in the US? With Canada so close you must have gays getting married there and coming home. Do they have any legal rights in the US if they marry in Canada?

Nope... if you go to Canada, it's legal there... not back at home in the States.

I think you may have missed the point.



well maybe that's because I wasn't really arguing a point, just musing. But I was saying that as an argument against my own self.

Not trying to argue anything here, just genuinely curious...

What is the big deal about having a legal marriage? Is it a pracitcal issue? Do gay spouses feel they are being denied benefits that straight spouses don't have? Or is it more a matter of principle?

it's a bastardization of "word."

word (wûrd)

interj.
Slang. Used to express approval or an affirmative response to something. Sometimes used with up.



example

"Where are you going?"
"To the store."
"Word. Pick up some cheese."

Yes there are 2 constitutional issues. First the state constitution of Massachusets is going up for a vote, but that could take until 2006 to become a voter issue. And then there is the US Constitution. And I am sure Bush will try to do something about an amendment.

My question is, when you block equal rights for gays, who will they target next? Women? Minorities? The poor? One bad leads to another bad.

Freedom, we all need freedom.

Outsider you make a very good point. Who would be next? In our founding father's words it clearly indicates that "All men are created equal". By using Bush's logic on this, that could theorectically mean that women and children would have no equal rights under the law.
If he tries to ammend the Constitution, specifically targeting gays, I'll march to Washington and protest.

The fact of the matter is it isn't right. There are gay couples who have been together for 40 years, sharing their lives and homes. When one partner dies, the other is entitled to nothing. And if agay couple should separate after years of living together and having a child, (through sperm donation or a surrogate mother) then the courts don't recognize the rights of a same sex parent who, while certainly viewed as a parent in the eyes of the child, is not biologically linked with it, and therefore has no visitation or custody rights. Or if a gay person is in the hospital, their partner, even if joined in a legalized civil union, has no say in their partner's treatment, and can even be shut out or prevented from visiting the patient. Is that fair? Absolutely not!

I think it was outsider that posted the link to that wonderful essay, it really is an eye opener to all the arguments against gay marriage.

Another thing to consider about people who DON'T want to amend the constitution to INCLUDE gay marriage, if we hadn't changed the laws before or amended before, where would blacks, women, indians and anyone who isn't white and male be today in the U.S.? Think about it.
If we say equal rights, let's allow equal rights!

Here's another angle: The people are suppose to rule. Period. The majority do not accept it. Now do we want 2 or 3 radical liberal judges imposing their"laws" on us. Lets say you go to Mass. and get married. Now when you go to Ohio is it suppose to be recognized. Ohio doesn't want it,but those couple of Judges override the "people". It won't work. Why do they need it anyway? You can love without a piece of paper. If you want the marriage tax,you can have it,so don't tell me about taxes. Or hospitals. They are private institutions that can decide tomorrow if they want. There is a way to give partners benefits from wills,insurance etc. without infringing upon the institution of marriage which is reserved for a man and woman.And has been for hundreds of years. You have a problem with the hospitals,petition them.By the way,I love my dog. Can I marry it? Then I could get some benefits for the care of it. Where does it stop is the point?
And since when do the gays get targeted? No women won't be targeted next. That is a group of people. Gays are not a group or minority.It is an alternative lifestyle. And that lifestyles costs us all. Well that should get you started. Say goodnight to the bad guy.

P.S. devildog, just to put things in perspective, here's an article about a tragedy here in Tampa.

http://tampabaycoalition.homestead....ashburnNews.htm

Mickie Mashburn's loving Partner of 10 years, Lois M. Marrero, was killed in the in the line of Duty, on July 6, 2001. Coping with such great loss, Mickie's handed another loss, this time it's the loss to the right to receive her partners pension benefits. The Tampa Fire and Police Pension Board, voted 7~1 to deny Mickie spousal death benefits of slain partner. As Mickie's co-workers, neighbors and family testified, the board members did little to feign interest. One board member fell asleep, while, the board's attorney, James Loper, who presented arguments against Mashburn's case during the hearing. Passed a note commenting on the repetitive testimony of the witnesses. Once those who testified that Lois would have wanted Mickie to receive her pension benefits. Telling the board, if Lois was given a choice to who to leave her pension, "It would have been Mickie." What would have made the board's denial moot, was prevented by a bureaucratic mistake. Lois wasn't permitted to choose Mickie as beneficiary, but, the state Legislature passed a law in 1999 saying pension members could choose their beneficiary. It was not until July 3, 2001, that the city approved the ordinance. Tragically, just three days later Lois was killed, without being able to exercise her right. Mickie, although at the brink of exhaustion from this ordeal, she hasn't given up hope and intends to continue her efforts. And she has the support of the gay and straight community. TBC, our members and many others will do what ever it takes to achieve justice for our sister, Mickie.

This is what I say: the conservatives need to stop pushing their morals on everybody. People have the right to their opinions, but what people do not have the right to do is stop gays from getting married - a privalege everyone else enjoys.

Awesome post chelktty!

Welcome to INReview (INR) Frank30.

Eric Johnston, Gay.com / PlanetOut.com Network
Wednesday, February 11, 2004 / 05:20 PM

The city of San Francisco may jump ahead of Massachusetts as the first place in the United States for same-sex marriages, under an initiative launched Tuesday by newly elected Mayor Gavin Newsom.

Newsom, a Democrat, asked the San Francisco County Clerk to investigate what steps need to be taken to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

"Less than a month ago I took the oath of office here at City Hall and swore to uphold California's Constitution, which clearly outlaws all forms of discrimination," Newsom said in a statement. "Denying basic rights to members of our community will not be tolerated."

It was unclear if same-sex marriage would be valid under California state law, which defines marriage as a relationship between a man and a woman.

Newsom consulted legal experts on the move. While he expected possible legal challenges, his decision was based both on the California Constitution's equal rights protections and on state law prohibiting discrimination against gays and lesbians based on gender.

"We strongly support and applaud Mayor Newsom's commitment to uphold the state Constitution and his intention to put an end to unlawful marriage discrimination against same-sex couples in San Francisco," said Shannon Minter, legal director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights.

Minter told the Gay.com/PlanetOut.com Network he does not think Newsom is proposing to flout state law, but in fact has the authority and a legal duty to interpret and apply state constitutional law by allowing same-sex couples to marry, on an equal basis with opposite-sex couples.

San Francisco already recognizes same-sex domestic partnerships.

GLBT activists consider California relatively friendly territory. Last year, then-Gov. Gray Davis signed into law a measure granting same-sex couples who register as domestic partners most of the legal rights and responsibilities of married spouses.

On Thursday, openly gay state Assemblyman Mark Leno, D-San Francisco, plans to introduce legislation that would make marriage for gay and lesbian couples legal statewide.

However, in 2000 voters approved a ballot measure, known as the Knight Initiative, prohibiting California from granting marital rights to same-sex couples who legally marry in another state. But it may have no bearing on legal gay marriage here because it applies specifically to same-sex marriages performed outside California.

Massachusetts is set to become the first state in the United States to issue licenses for same-sex marriages, on May 17.

With the new developments in San Francisco, GLBT activists could see progress toward civil marriage rights on both coasts.

"It is great to see careful and strong steps toward marriage equality all across the country," said Evan Wolfson, executive director of Freedom to Marry, an organization working to win marriage equality nationwide.

"As this civil rights movement progresses we will see some states, businesses and leaders rise to the better angels of their nature," he said, "while others discriminate and have to be dragged, kicking and screaming, to equality."

Good news, KJ.

It's great news, if it follows through. Gives Heidi and me hope that April 17th, when we have our wedding, that it will be real, and not just for ourselves and family/friends... but that it WILL be legal.

just a question Kris, who'll be wearing the tux and who'll be wearing the wedding dress? Or will you both walk down the isle? How do you choose who walks down first?

sorry, couldn't help myself I know I'm not funny though

I hope it's legal for you guys

Alright,I'll try to respond to you all. First of all I find it amusing that you guys have said things like discriminating, prejudice, angry, scared, and that I must not live around or have gay friends. Just because I don't agree to normalize and sanctify an alternative lifestyle onto this already decadent society , than I must be all of those things mentioned. The same ones that speak out for tolerance are the ones who want to silence an opposing view. It is because he is prejudice. There is a difference between tolerance and acceptance. So in other words,if we don't accept this lifestyle than it is us who are angry and discriminating masses. What a joke. And alternative,by the way, is something other than the norm in my book.
You say that gays are being beat up and denied this or that or harassed by the police etc. So what! That is life. It happens to all walks of life. Bad things happen to everyone whites,blacks,Latins,gays,heterosexuals,pedophiles
,drug addicts etc.. Two weeks ago I got a traffic citation while my truck was in my yard and I wasn't even in it. Yes it was a black cop and I happen to be white.It was outrageous. It would be easy to say it was because he hated white people or whatever. Grow up people. Stop blaming others and deal with life. If not,lock yourself in a room.
You are worried about a partner dying and a possible legal battle with family members ? Come on. I can leave everything I own to my hamster through an iron clad legal document if I wanted. Go to a lawyer and sign some papers.
It's getting late so I will touch on only one more point. I said that the Gay/alternative lifestyle costs us all,and you guys flipped out. As you know a HIV infected puppet was introduced on sesame street in late 2002. They said it was "to get kids used to being around an HIV infected child and hoped it could remove the stigma associated with it." Remove the stigma? If a child is afraid to be around an infected person than that means he or she was properly educated. But again one is called a homophobe or racist if they don't agree with the lies. When the puppet made her debut she says to the toddlers" My mom sad I was born with it. But please hug me because I'm very lovable and I can't make you sick....I wish everyone was kind." Now that is great. The audience of 3 or 5 yr olds were told a DEADLY lie. Although this certainly has the potential for "costing us all",I wasn't talking about that. Are you aware that the CDC dedicates 30% of its 7 Billion dollar a year budget just for AIDS and HIV? Why ? Because it is politically driven. The truth is that Cardiovascular disease is the leading killer of all races each year. In fact ,heart disease,cancer and even suicide have more death each year than AIDS. Breast cancer gets less than 200K a year but kills 40K plus a yr. And still the gay activists scream for more. Aids,Glaad,act-up and others cast their hatred in a rally that flew banners saying"stop the war on HIV prevention". Children have less money for vaccines than these ingrates.And how about the 600,000 a yr in Ca. fo