Explaining death to young children

Culture & Society Forum

My husbands grandmother passed away on Sunday. I had the tough job of explaining that their beloved GiGi is gone. It is so hard to tell a 4 1/2 year old and a 2 1/2 year old news like that.

Thread open to discussing loss.

Well, I sat my son and daughter down and explained that Gigi went to heaven. She does not need her cane there, she is happy in heaven, but we are sad because we miss her. My son seems to understand. My little girl is just to young to get it.

My grandma died two years ago this June...I remember telling my son about it...he was 4...I told him that she went to heaven...I just had to explain to him what I thought heaven consisted of...

We have this picture of my son and my grandma sitting on this cabinet in our family room....and I catch him looking at it once in awhile...

Not to long ago he told me...I cant wait to see grandma Ann again and I said yeah..me too...and he said...well..I want to see her, but I think I can wait for awhile if you know what I mean...

I started laughing! It was too cute!

I dont know how he managed to understand but he did....one thing I tell him now that death is final.

Children (and teens and young adults) have this invincible syndrome, whereas they dont think it can happen to them...I think I tell him that death is final because I dont want him to do stupid stuff when he is older and not think that there isnt consequences to pay for...kind of like preparing him for when he is older but slowly introducing it. Does that make sense?

They just eventually learn it...but for starters I told him that they go to heaven and we will meet again someday...

He seems to understand quite well....I think.

Yes Mystic, I did the death is final part too. Damon when he was 3 asked where my dad was. My dad had passed away over 12 years ago. So, I told Damon that he was up in heaven with Jesus, that he was not sick anymore, that he was happy because Jesus is so nice you are happy when you are with him. Damon asked where heaven was, so I said up in the sky, past the moon. He sat for a moment, and said "well, Daddy is really tall, maybe he could help pappa". Like my 6'4 husband could reach out and get him from heaven. So that lead to the talk of heaven and death being permanent. So, since his Gigi passed a year and a half later than the talk, he really gets it now. Nikki is just too small to understand, but she does know that her Gigi is gone, but to where she wont say.