Ask the LOTR characters!!

Lord of the Rings Trilogy Forum

Because i am selfish and wanted her all to myself!

Easterlings: why do you wear eyeliner...dont you know that is for girls?

Saoron likes many things... black, body paint, weird accessories... But we've been wearing body paint since before Sauron came along, and we're not going to stop now.

Gimli: "What did your dwarf friends think when you brought a pointy-ear to see your home?"

well they didn't think much of it actually...i was surprised myself...i guess since they knew he was a member of the Fellowship they thought he was cool.

Legolas "whats it like having a dwarf for a friend?"

He's always so competitive. It's like he has something to prove. Always trying to be faster, stronger, better. And he's so obsessed with his looks! Forever brushing his hair and looking in his little pocket mirror. Aargh! He drives me crazy!

Theoden: "How did you feel when you realised that Eowyn had fought for you on the battlefield?"

well i was a bit preoccupied with the whole dying thing..but that didn't stop me from appreciating her efforts...i was very proud.

Eowyn"so who do you really like better, Faramir, or Aragorn?"

*shiver* i hate my job...and the pay stinks too....*huddles closer to bonfire*

Gandalf "why did you trust Pippin to light that signal fire?"

well who else could I use? I couldnt go up there, my lovely shiny robes might get dirty!

Boromir: what is it like being dead?

Boromir: I dont know....your usually not conscious....

Arwen: What is it that you liked so much about Aragorn?

The money... what else? All my kin are going bankrupt, selling up and going to the undying lands. So i thought i'd marry myself a rich mortal (and they don't get much richer than the King of Gondor!) and wait til he dies and take all his money! Yeh I got the idea from Anna Nicole Smith!

It was a close call between Aragorn and the dwarf Durin VI, but I was always told never to trust a man with a beard. Yes I know! Aragorn didn't have a beard when I met him, there's some irony there I'm sure!

Ted Sandyman: Why are you such an idiot of a Hobbit when you have such a cool name?

Like I was going to help keep him safe.

Legolas Other than Gimli, who is your best friend in the company?

Well, he is one arrogant stuck up elf. If he had given me advice, I would never have heard the end of it.

Sam So, how was the ride home from the Havens?

Sam: Well, it was kind of lonely and i was really sad that frodo was gone and i was having a bad hair day, and my tush fell asleep, and i was having a HORRIBLE day! and... and...sigh

This is for legolas: when are you going to find a girl?

Well, who says I have not? After all, you mortals sleep. I could be meeting with a lady at night.

Eomer Did that helmet hurt your head?

Can't you tell by the camp eterior, the long, prefectly kept blond hair, immaculate cleanliness, my unnatural liking for riding the same horse with Gimli? I bat for the other team... I am looking though...

To any of Sam's offsprings: Are you fed up of hearing about the Lord of the Rings yet?

Oh, she would take in anyway.

Galadriel Who calls the shots in your realm?

Eh hem...you are talking to her...*rolls eyes* mortals...

Eowyn: did your hair ever get in the way, it looked annoying!

It did get in the way, I must admit, but don't you think it looked lovely... all swirly and pretty and blonde.

Celeborn: 'How did your wife get the ring Nenya when you are the man of the house?"

NO. I am too powerful to need friends. Um, and I did not give or ever touch the elven rings.


Gimli how did you like Moria?

Well, you were not supposed to notice that. The orcs think I have a bad aim, but I don't-he he he

Balrog- how did it feel to get your butt kicked by Gandalf?

(Sauron never touched the three. They were crafted by Celembrimor, or some name like that, and made for purposes other than control)

well i was hoping to strangle him in a dramatic fashion, then throw his broken body to the wind...because i am evil.

Sauron: knowing that Saruman turned out to be a traitorous fool, why didn't you decide to beat on him..you know, something along the lines of a Nazgul capturing him for torture?

well...i feel rather burned by the whole experience....

Wormtongue: how does it feel knowing you served a lunatic who beat you regularly?

No, probably not....I mean its not really any of my business...unless he asked of course....Besides my sister always loved his scruffiness...

Sauron: So, since you only have an eye, how is it that you can think I mean...where's the brain?

No man, we've got each other. Besides, I'll tell you a secret. the Witchking was female.

Elanor (Sam's daughter): "Does your daddy bore you with all those stories of Samwise the Brave and Nine-fingered Frodo?"

What the?

Oh.. oh right, gotcha. Sorry, a bit slow on the uptake today.

It burnses us! It hurtses us! **gasp gurgle gurgle** bubbles rise to the surface**

Frodo: "Has it been a difficult adjustment getting around with only 9 fingers? Do you find yourself somewhat limited in terms of your abilities?"

I had so much excess blubber, it was able to provide sustenance for the entire journey without depleting its reserves.

Legolas: "Will you journey to the Grey Havens, or are you destined to remain in Middle-earth forever?"

Oh god, he is the most obnoxious creature we have ever encountered. We are seriously considering sending him back, along with Legolas for bringing him in the first place.

Merry & Pippin: "Did you make many trips back to Minas Tirith and Edoras?"

They wouldnt let us come back. Said we were annoying. But we snuck in anyway! In a barrel of pipeweed actually!

Witchking: you have this giant mace...and you cant even hit eowyn! is that more than just bad aim?

No, the stupid thing is so dang heavy, its almost impossible to aim...

Pippin: So now that the whole journey...mission...quest...thing is over, what is it really?

A thing...without a doubt!

Eowyn: Why Aragorn?

Dude, its the sexy long hair, and the beard of course

Eowyn: Since everyone is always complaining about your helment are you ever going to get a different one?

no, it has deep sentimental value. Ooooh! look a new helmet *chucks old one over shoulder*

Merry: is there anything wrong with the reach of your arm?

no i can reach just fine! orcs just happen to be able to slice me before i can even touch them with my sword

Sam: why didn't you try and keep the ring?

what and become freak like frodo?! sure there was always that little bit that wanted power...but then i would end up becoming evil, so its not worth it.

Celeborn: dude..whats up with the lack of dialogue...have a speech problem?

fortunately i had a cold most of the time...so i couldn't smell..and appearently i stank pretty bad too...

Frodo: how did you survive Sam AND Gollums body odor?

*unsuccesfully tries to hide pipe full of pipeweed* oh uh.....

Sauron: what's the view like from you eye in the sky?

you try shooting at a load of moving targets in the dark with a balrog behing you.....

Gandalf: didnt that had seriously impair your vision?

Didnt that HAT seriously impair your vision

sorry...typo!

well, not really, considering i gave it to Pippin to hold for me when there was fighting to do....and i think he lost it....*goes off to find hat...or kill pippin*

Pippin: did you intentionally steal gandalf's hat?

*smiles* no...would i do that? *mutters* thats what he gets for being nasty to me

Grima: dont you know that the 'vampire' look went out ages ago?

well...since i lost my hat before i "died" they decided not to give me a new one.

Saruman: how did it feel to serve a giant flaming eye?

And spoil my lovely new hairdo?? Do you have any idea how long it takes to use hair straighteners with no electricity?

Arwen: Have you always gone for younger men?

I dod not serve him...that was an illusion! I am the dark lord! mwahahahaha! *gets hit by a lightning bolt* oh fiddlesticks!

The fox that sees the hobbits camping in FOTR book: what happened to you?

*sniff* they are everything that i am not *sniff sniff* its not fair. They are all pwetty and stuff...why do I always have to be the bad guy?????

The fox that sees the hobbits camping in FOTR book: what happened to you?

Well, I stayed in the hills and got me a lady fox.

Nobb, why were you not in the movie?

they said i wasn't necessary....that i wasnt a 'needed' character. Cheap skates...

Galadriel: have you ever cut your hair?

No. It grew to this length, and my will keeps it from growing.

Gimli do you ever bathe?

well i was dead annoyed

Gimli: isnt all that leather you wear hot?

Yes it is. We dwarves like it that way.

Balrog so do you prefer ors or trolls for a meal?

There is more meat on trolls but orcs taste better...like chicken!

Frodo: were the noises you made whilst climbing absolutely necessary?

No, but I like to make noise. It amuses me.

Sam, why was your brooch upside down?

No not at all.

Frodo were the ringwaiths very scary on the other side when you had the ring on?

Well, even we know we look ugly by daylight, so no.

Saruman- so how much pipe weed did you smoke?

No, Saurman would not share.

Theoden were you happy to see Grimma leave Rohan?

Of course I do. There is Gladie, Glaudo, and Gladamy, um not that I think they talk to me or anything.

Elrond So how much do you like Bilbo?

PJ didn't want to put off any of the young girls that might be hot for me.

Eowyn how many people got food poisoning from your cooking?

Because she would have had to go in disguise as one of them, and then I wouldn't be able to look at her and pretend I was single.

Bilbo: "Do you miss your ring?"

Black makes my thighs look slimmer.


Ring next to Sauron, who was your favorite?

Destroy it? I was powerful enough to command it-at least I though I was.

Gollum do you eat anything other than fish?

We were hiding in our burrow when this slimy hand reached in and grabbed us while we were snoozing. Nothing had even been skinny enough to reach into our burrow before. We were taken completely by surprise.

Glorfindel: "How did you like it when Arwen stole your part of taking Frodo to Rivendell?"

*narrows eyes* lets just say she better be careful. She has to sleep sometime....

Eowyn: how did you feel when you were told to go to the women and children in the caves?

Have you seen my wife!?

Galadrial: Do you wear the trousers in your relationship?

Of course dont you know!

Gimli: So if you ever got to see Galadriel again, what would you say to her?

Oh god, please dont even bring that up.....

Frodo: So when you first saw Gollum, what were you thinking?

You young whippersnapper, have some respect for the elderly. It was hard enough fighting off the wrinkles!

Gimli: Ever tempted by a little Ent Draught?

well its a big shiny black orb that shines mysteriously. i couldn't resist.

Saruman: did you ever notice that as time went on, your robes got more and more dirty?

Well probably because to Treebeard I am young....Treebeards how old?

Gollum: So besides raw fish whats your favorite food?

Ringwraiths: as soon as sauron lets us have our own free wills back, we'll tell you.

Sauron: why did you choose orcs to make up your armies...i mean..they're stupid, ugly, and they only work well in ludicrously huge numbers?

no of course not...I mean what happened was...he's not...well you see...I dont have to answer that!!!!

Gollum: Havent you ever thought of getting some decent clothes?

Against Isildur's heir I am merely a trumped up town cryer. Besides, have you ever gotten the evil glare from someone of that lineage? It's pretty intimidating.

Aragorn: "Were you really prepared to give your life in order to buy Frodo and Sam some extra time?"

well of course...i think the whole of Middle-Earth is just a bit more important than me. only a bit mind you.


Morgoth: sauron said to take this up with you: why did you make the orcs so stupid, ugly, and such horrid warriors?

Yea of course, thats the whole meaning of friendship...And it at least gave them a chance, and hey it worked!!

Legolas: So how did the elves really learn how to shoot archery like that?

well theres this school: "How to be a Nancing Prancing Elf"
we all go there!

Denethor: what do you have against hobbits?