For any naysayers doubting the validity of the statement, "Blondes have more fun," you should know that it's officially been proven true.
However, it's been modified to "Dumb blondes have more fun."
Proof in case? Ms. Chicken of the Sea herself, aka Jessica Simpson, who has just been tapped to develop a new comedy with ABC.
The huge success of Jessica and hubby Nick Lachey's MTV reality show Newlyweds expelled the pop star from the ranks of Britney-wannabe and propelled her to new heights of stardom.
"Everyone was always like, 'Who's Jessica Simpson (news)?' 'Oh, she's like Britney or Christina,'" the toothy-grinned songstress babbled in her recent Rolling Stone cover story. "It was so hard on me. Plus, I never had my own thing happening, so I felt like I had to do what they did, like, I had to show my stomach and dance. But that's not me."
No, the Jessica we've all come to know and love (to ridicule) is someone else entirely. She's whiny, needy, incapable of accomplishing even the most simple of tasks on her own--yet she's undeniably funny.
Whether we're laughing with her or at her doesn't really matter. When the Barbie-faced beauty makes innocent mistakes about the food on her plate, mistaking tuna for chicken and chicken for buffalo, it makes us feel better about ourselves. And ABC, for one, is not going to miss out on an opportunity to keep a good thing going.
"Jessica has infectious energy and unmistakable star quality," said Susan Lyne, president of ABC Entertainment. "She also has a built-in fan base in both music and television, which is a great jumping off point for us. We're looking forward developing the ideal showcase for her considerable talents."
Joe Simpson, Jessica's father and manager, is attached as co-executive producer of the project, which he sees as a boon for the product of his loins.
"This deal is a great and logical next step for Jessica and the evolution of her career," Daddy Simpson said. "We're very happy to consider ABC part of our professional family, and we look forward to a long and successful relationship with the network."
The vacuous vixen is currently shooting the second season of Newlyweds with Lachey. She's also touring in support of her third album, In This Skin, which debuted at number 10 on Billboard's Top 200 list, but slid quickly down the charts.
Last month, Jessica signed a licensing deal with Signatures Network, Inc., and will soon be lending her name and image to everything from perfume to postcards, and yes, maybe even tuna.
Jessica's not the only pretty, young thing inking a network TV deal this week. Sixteen-year-old actor-singer Hilary Duff (news) has signed a comedy pilot deal with CBS.
Duff, star of Disney Channel's Lizzie McGuire, and the movie by the same name, is already a hot commodity with the pre-teen set; CBS will seek to increase her appeal with those of us old enough to drive.
Apparently, Duff was a much sought-after talent after Lizzie McGuire wrapped production, with both NBC and FOX seeking to reel her in, according to the Hollywood Reporter.
The Tween Queen's upcoming vehicle will most likely be a domestic comedy, launching in the 2004-2005 season. Her mother, Susan Duff, will executive produce.
For a woman who was a virgin just a year ago, Jessica Simpson seems to know a lot about making whoopee. Cosmopolitan magazine (the bible of all women's sexual issues) is publishing a feature in the May issue which turns the "Newlyweds" star into a "sexpert." The article is titled "Jessica's Hints For Keeping Things Hot" and she shares her bedroom techniques learned from her one year of wedded bliss, including surprising your mate in the middle of the night with a request for sex.
Jessica says, "He won't turn it down." On the other hand, Jessica says sometimes the sexiest thing you can do is refuse to have sex with your man: "I don't think that you should always give in when your man wants sex... it's better when he wants you more the next night."
Blonde Ambition - The triumph of Jessica Simpson, the deconstruction of Nick Lachey, and the marketing of the self.
by Matthew Continetti - 04/16/2004 12:00:00 AM
I DIDN'T SEE The Nick and Jessica Variety Hour on ABC last Sunday night, but according to Nielsen, about 11.4 million other viewers did. An hour of musical numbers and comedy sketches performed by husband-and-wife team Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, the show won its time slot. It drew most of its support from that most coveted of demographics, 18-49-year olds. Nick and Jessica's warbling and wailing proved so popular, in fact, that ABC has already greenlit a sequel: a Christmas-time-is-here spectacular that will air sometime during the holiday shopping season.
The ascendancy of Jessica Simpson, in other words, is now complete. Simpson, 23, once lurked towards the back of the teen popstar pack, behind Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and even Mandy Moore. Britney and Christina's album sales were higher than Jessica's; Moore cornered the I'm-so-innocent market early on. But times change. Today it's Simpson, not Christina, who has one of the most popular shows on the MTV network. It's Simpson, not Britney, who's latest album is certified double platinum. It's Simpson, not Moore, who stars in primetime ABC specials.
Simpson is more than ascendant. She's ubiquitous. In early March "With You," a single from her album In This Skin, hit Number 1 on Billboard's Mainstream Top 40 chart. Last week Simpson filmed a sitcom pilot for ABC. This week she graces the cover of People magazine's 30th anniversary issue. Last night's finale of The Apprentice, Donald Trump's reality show, featured Simpson (contestants are tasked with managing one of her concerts). On April
17 Simpson will appear on VH1's 7th annual Divas special, along with fellow divas Patti LaBelle, Gladys Night (sans Pips), Mary J. Blige, and Cyndi Lauper. Movies are her next target. Her ambition, she's told reporters, is to star in a remake of I Dream of Jeannie, as, you guessed it, Jeannie.
WHY IS SIMPSON so rich, so popular, and yet so spectacularly talentless? She herself doesn't seem to know. "We're amazed [at the show's success], actually," she once said. "We're amazed that we're entertaining, I think." That makes two of us.
Her looks may have something to do with it. Petite, blonde, and possessed of, well, impressive measurements, she resembles nothing so much as a life-sized Barbie doll. On the other hand, she's no more attractive than, say, Britney Spears. And Simpson is less inclined to capitalize on her good looks than other young celebrities: A little research (ahem) shows that she appears more often in women's magazines than FHM or Maxim spreads.
Maybe it's her lifestyle. Remember that Simpson's career took off with the premiere and ensuing popularity of Newlyweds, the MTV reality show that follows her day-to-day life with Nick Lachey, the well-pectoraled singer who once headlined a boyband called 98 Degrees (as in hot!). The coupled married in the fall of 2002, when Simpson was 22 and Lachey 29. (CNN's Anderson Cooper has since pronounced Simpson and Lachey "America's favorite young couple.") Before her nuptials, Simpson was the postergirl for teenage abstinence. Which is partly responsible for her appeal: Attending a Simpson concert, 12-year-old Savannah David told a Wilmington, North Carolina, paper that Simpson was "a good role model. She waited until she was married to do it."
Country star LeAnn Rimes has hit back at accusations she stole Jessica Simpson's first boyfriend, insisting the claims are untrue.
Simpson recently revealed, in an episode of TV show "Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica," she had her heart broken by an "actor on 'Days of Our Lives'" who was "dating LeAnn Rimes at the time he professed his love" to her, when Simpson was an 18-year-old.
The man in question turned out to be Jensen Ackles, who stepped out with Rimes after she guest-starred on his daytime soap.
But Rimes is eager to point out there was nothing romantic going on between her and Ackles.
She says, "We were friends, but there was no real dating. He's a great guy, but there was no cheating."
schmiggens said this in post #58 : I am really going to miss Jessica & Nick when they finish doing Newlyweds. I am a big fan of the show, I lover her to death, she is so totally normal. I don't think it will be the same if Britney takes over.
Singer and reality TV show star Jessica Simpson's new fan is none other than actress Gwyneth Paltrow, who has appreciated her clean lifestyle, which she says is a great boost for America's image overseas.
When Paltrow was in London expecting the arrival of her baby daughter Apple, she often lounged around at home watching Jessica and her hubby Nick Lachey's super successful reality TV show 'Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica.'
Paltrow revealed that she thoroughly enjoyed the reality show and was happy to know that Jessica, who insisted on remaining a virgin until she was married and carried herself with grace and dignity, had a huge fan following.
"I'm just glad that there's one super-popular girl in America who's not drunk, sleeping with tons of people, and wearing incredibly revealing, inappropriate outfits. She's a post-modern Donna Reed," rate the music quoted the 'Shakespeare in Love' beauty as saying. (ANI)
schmiggens said this in post #65 : Simpson Puts Up Her 'Dukes' for First Feature Role
Pop star Jessica Simpson has been cast as Daisy Duke in the big-screen remake of "The Dukes of Hazzard,"
ORIGINAL DAISY DUKE GIVES JESSICA THE OK
The original Daisy Duke has nothing but praise for Jessica Simpson, who landed the coveted "Dukes of Hazzard" part last week, but she assures the pop star she'll have to get into shape for the sexy role.
Catherine Bach, who became a sex symbol over 20 years ago when she played Bo and Luke Duke's raunchy cousin in the hit "Dukes of Hazzard" TV show, is now offering Simpson all the help she needs as she plans to don the skimpy denim shorts and belly button-revealing tops for the movie adaptation of the TV series.
Bach says, "I know that this girl really had to spend a lot of time, and went through a lot of pressure to get this part and I respect anybody who goes through that situation and comes out a winner.
"Now she'll have to learn to fight better than a man."
The fact that Simpson's new movie role has caused so much fuss in showbiz news circles has given Bach a new high-profile image -- she was invited to attend the Emmy Awards for the first time ever last night.
But I agree with her, I think Jessica will make a great Daisy Duke.