| Hope it's alright to put this in the forum.
A Letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush on the Eve of War
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by Michael Moore
March 18th, 2003
George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC
Dear Governor Bush:
So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France
and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I'm glad
to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya,
having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if
I could take much more. So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day,
'cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:
1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox
News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one.
Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and
try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill
Iraqis. YOU WON'T FIND THEM! Why? 'Cause NO Iraqis have
ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to
do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a
certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then,
believe it or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how that works!
2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you
--
are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what
the real issues are that affect our daily lives -- and none of them
begin with I or end in Q. Here's what threatens us: two and a half
million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having
become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement funds are
going to be there, gas now costs almost two dollars -- the list goes
on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only
you need to go away for things to improve.
3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to
lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is
against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.
4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope!
But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you!
How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army
of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't
have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were
shipped to Vietnam in your place.
5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of
South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces!
If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin
daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical
warfare suits. And let's see every member of Congress with a child
of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What's that
you say? You don't THINK so? Well, hey, guess what -- we don't
think so either!
6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal
screw-ups. Yes, some of them can pretty damn annoying. But have
you forgotten we wouldn't even have this country known as America
if it weren't for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary
War that won it for us? That our greatest thinkers and founding
fathers -- Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, etc. -- spent many years
in Paris where they refined the concepts that lead to our Declaration
of Independence and our Constitution? That it was France who gave
us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a
pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are
doing what only a good friend can do -- tell you the truth about
yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them
for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have
traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of
the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into
a corner you can't get out of.
Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this
war, more than likely it will be over soon because I'm guessing there
aren't a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam
Hussein. After you "win" the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the
popularity polls as everyone loves a winner -- and who doesn't like
to see a good ass-whoopin' every now and then (especially when it
's some third world ass!). So try your best to ride this victory all the
way to next year's election. Of course, that's still a long ways away,
so we'll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the
economy sink even further down the toilet!
But, hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few days before
the election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill
Iraqis -- they got our oil!!
Yours, Michael Moore | |
