How Old is Too Old to Be a Parent

Culture & Society Forum

Paul Mc Cartney just became a father at the age of 61. CNN is running a poll on how old is too old to be a parent. So I want to know what all of you think. So, please take the poll and tell us your opinion.

I say 50 and older. Maybe thats bad...I dont know...all I know is that if you are going to be a father, then you should make it at least plausible that you will be healthy and around for as long as you can of the child's life. When his kid graduates from high school...he'll be 80....I dont know...seems to old to me....Is that fair to the child? Will he be healthy enough to play ball with him, run around with him? Or is he so rich he can hire someone to do it for him? (not totally serious on that one of course)

I just dont see the fairness in it for the kids in the long run.

My dad was almost 50 when I was born, mom was 38. I really wished my parents were younger. They just did not understand my generation and were so old fashioned about everything. The hardest part was that my dad died when I was 25. I still miss him like crazy. He was not there for my wedding, or to see my kids.

I had a friend who was 16 when his dad was 70-something and his mother was 50-something and while he got on real well with his mother, his father was very removed from his life. Like fuscia, his mother died early in his life and he was obvisouly deeply traumatised by it.

His father then got remarried at 70 and at 72 his new 25 year old vietnamese wife gave birth to their first child. That is WAY too old.

I'm glad none of you all said 40. I'm 39 and remarried a few years ago. My husband is younger than me and has no children. We're trying to start a family. Do any of you think 39 is too hold. My OB doesn't seem to think it's too old.

I do not think it is too old. Many parents get a late start. I will offer this piece of advice. If you do not conceive after six months of trying, go to a fertility doctor. Some women have no problem at your age, however, if there is a problem, you need to see a specialist because every cycle is one you can not get back. I am a fertility mom, so I don't want to see anyone else have to go through wasted time. I was 33 when I had my last child. Good luck to you.

Thanks for the info Fuscia. I lucked out in my choice of OB/GYN. He's also a fertility specialist and a high risk pregnancy specialist. He gave me your same piece of advice about only waiting 6 months.

Glad to hear it. Too many OB/GYN's list themselves as reproductive specialists. The are supposed to be board certified Reproductive Endocrinologists. Good luck to you.

Oh I didn't know that. I'll have to check his credentials, though I don't plan to change docs for now. He seems like a good doctor.

As Fuscia pointed out,I feel you must weigh several things.
Will I have the energy to play with them as I did when I was younger?
How long will I live and what effect will my death have on my child? I mean, a child who loses a parent at a very young age MUST be devastasting. Sorry for your loss Fuscia. Sounds like your Dad missed out also.
If someone thinks of what is best for the child before having one as opposed to what is best for "them"..than I think the decision will be a correct one regardless of age.

As a side note: one must get a license to Marry, license to drive, License to do business, license to even put up a fense BUT for some reason we do not need one(or something like one) to follow through with the most important thing we will ever do in life - become a parent. Just finding it odd.

Fence(oops)

It is odd that they can not stop drug abusers and the like from having kids while they continue to use. Very sad for the kids.

I would tell you to not give up, optics. Doctors don't know everything, ya know. There are several examples to point to, but I will tell you about a close friend.This couple was told they could not reproduce so they adopted. Since the adoption they have had TWO children on their own. Never give up. It is humorous to me how someone can put a percentage on that. 2%
These are based on people like you. When you guys get pregnant...the chance will be 8 or 9 % for the next couple they see for this.
But even according to that ridiculous percentage, you will only need to do it 50 times to get pregnant, right?

Oh the act of getting pregnate is great but they did a "color die" test on her fallopian tubes and one was completly blocked no die entering it. The other one was 3/4 of the way blocked, very little die could be seen in the fallopian tube.

Yea its crazy we have been trying for 2 years with only one confirmed pregency. She lost that one about 2 weeks later.

She is 35 and I'm 30 but we do not want to have to keep trying for 5 more years to get pregnate. We are looking into adoption right now. Since her insurance covers the cost of getting the one tube opened back up we are going to do that and we will hope for the best after that.

Yea the percentages are pretty crazy too.

We don't know yet for In Vitro Fertilization it runs $14,000 and has a 1/4 to 1/6 chance of working. For that money we could give a child a wonderful home from almost anywhere in the world in under a year (if things go perfectly). We are still going try to have a child of our own and if by some chance it happens. I won't be able to do anything but smile.

Life when did it start to get so dang hard ??

Optics. I am so sorry that you and your wife are having problems conceiving. It is very difficult. The test with the dye can sometimes open up small blockages in your tubes.

Both of my kids are fertility kids. My husband had no problems, but my body treated the babies like a tumor and attacked them. My immune system was so overcharged that I had to take heparin shots twice a day in my stomach for 26 weeks with each pregnancy. I had to start the shots before I even got pregnant. I was not ovulating regularly, so I end up having to take injectable fertility drugs, since Clomid did not work. The drugs are very expensive. Four years ago, we spent around $1500.00 just for 1 months worth of drugs. No insurance coverage for that. I was the human pin cushion. I say let your wife cry and you too if you need to do so. It is a loss to hear that it might not happen.

I have heard that if you are licensed to be a foster care family, even if you never take in a child, that puts you higher on the list. Please feel free to start an adoption thread here. I hope someone can give you the answers you are looking for.

Well, my husband had to give me the shots. I am very squeamish about my tummy.

Does IVF still increase the chances of a multiple birth? There was a story recently about a woman who had been told she would never have kids, I think because of a similar situation to optics wife. So they got IVF and she had four boys. They decided to stop trying after that, as they had enough kids, but 10 years later she had a natural pregnancy and they a girl who is now 4.

You hear a lot of IVF users getting multiple births, but ^ that particulat story is from IVF they got 14 years ago. And I remember a story about 10 years ago out of the UK where a woman was carrying 10 embryos, but only 5 actually made it to birth. Is it still common now for multiple births?

And to get back to the topic - I think it matters the age of both parents.

If one is 50 but one is in say their 30's then that is OK in my mind, but if they are both over 50, then I would say no.