Readers pick top 10 worst albums - Sunday, October 26, 2003
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Two Sundays ago, we published a sampling of the Top 10 albums lists of our readers. It was so much fun that we put out the call for your top 10 worst albums of all time. Here's what you came back with, and this time it's personal:
Top 10 worst albums of all time? What fun! A difficult task, though, because anything truly godawful is naturally going to be obscure. Further thought also leads me to think of various categories of bad albums, so I hope you'll allow me to elaborate on my choices. Talking about why they're bad is all the fun..
Mort Garson, Jacques Wilson, Bernard Krause, The Wozard of Iz
Kansas City in 1969 is a bummer, man, and Dorothy is splitting for the coast. Performed on early Moog synthesizer by some guys who looked like our parents.
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Teddy & Darrel, These Are the Hits, You Silly Savage!!!
Darrel was flamboyantly effeminate, Teddy "sang" in a deep growl, and their interpretation of songs like "These Boots Are Made for Walking" is . . . something. Produced by former California Lt. Gov. Mike Curb.
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Ethel Merman, The Ethel Merman Disco Album
Ethel Merman's attempt to cash in on the disco craze was sheer brass, although her total lack of nuance suited the material well. The only thing worse might have been Ethel Merman's album of lullabies.
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Paint Your Wagon movie soundtrack
Hollywood dubs lots of singing, but not for Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood. Now we know what musicals are like in hell.
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Sonny Bono, Laugh at Me
Bono was a talented songwriter and arranger, but he was no singer, no, not at all. When he released "Laugh at Me," we complied.
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The Supremes, A Bit of Liverpool
This early Supremes LP was all filler: hastily produced and soulless versions of British Invasion hits. Usually it was English groups stealing material from Motown, and without going out of tune, either.
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Wings, Wild Life
Paul McCartney's third album doesn't technically go out of tune. It just feels that way.
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John Lennon & Yoko Ono, Two Virgins, Life With the Lions, Wedding Album (take your pick)
As interesting as "anti-music" at an art show. As commercial product from an adulated musician, it was self-indulgence on a grand scale.
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Harry Nilsson, Son of Schmilsson
Nilsson was drunk and burned-out, and his voice was shot.
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Australia's Queen of Yodeling, Mary Schneider Yodeling the Classics
The title says it all. Brahms, Beethoven, Strauss, Mozart, Bizet, Sousa, Offenbach -- and don't forget the "William Tell" Overture!
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Robert Triptow and his Friends, Scat!
I have to be fair and include my own homemade CD of comedy routines performed with my friends. Even they won't listen to it.
ROBERT TRIPTOW
San Francisco
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There is no shortage of bad music out there, but much of it can be appreciated at least on some level. I think of the music of folks like Jandek or GG Allin or the Legendary Stardust Cowboy as material that is difficult listening but still suits my mood from time to time.
Also, you have to get beyond dismissal of an entire genre, i.e.: " '70s disco makes me wanna puke," which it does, but still there are a few choice nuggets amid the offal. I think of really classic "bad" music as stuff that I have come back to over and over through the years, trying to give it another chance and still not being able to listen all the way through.
With that in mind, I give you:
The Plastic Ono Band, Live Peace in Toronto (Side 2)
Screamin' Lord Sutch, Hands of Jack the Ripper
Lou Reed, Metal Machine Music
The Hello People, The Hello People
George Harrison, Electronic Sounds
The Hudson Brothers, Ba-Fa
2 Live Crew, As Nasty as They Wanna Be
Wing & a Prayer Fife & Drum Corps, Babyface
The Vanilla Fudge, The Beat Goes On
The Grateful Dead, Aoxomoxoa
JOE PAULINO
Sausalito
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In order to make this list, an album must be more than merely bad. It must be an abomination, or better yet, a betrayal. It must feel like a sucker punch to the solar plexus from someone you thought was your best friend. Here then is my list:
Pink Floyd, The Final Cut
Van Morrison, Days Like These
Graham Parker, The Parkerilla
The Clash, Cut the Crap
Chris Rea, The Road To Hell, Part II
Joe Jackson, Night and Day II
The Stone Roses, Second Coming
Neil Young, Everybody's Rockin'
Rod Stewart, Body Wishes
Alex Chilton, 19 Years
ERIC LAST
San Bruno
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These are my Top 10 Bad Albums: not Good/Bad (Hasil Atkins,Wesley Willis, etc.), but Bad/Bad, i.e., not even allowed in the house:
American Idol, Greatest Moments
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band movie soundtrack
Mariah Carey, Glitter
Michael Bolton, Time, Love and Tenderness
Journey, Escape
Michael Jackson, Invincible
Meatloaf, Bat out of Hell
Starship, Freedom at Point Zero
Barbara Streisand, A Star Is Born movie soundtrack
The Wiz movie soundtrack
HUNT MOORE
Petaluma
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The Archies, Sugar Sugar
Sonny and Cher, Look at Us
Paul Simon, One Trick Pony
John & Yoko, Double Fantasy
Pink Floyd, The Wall
William Shatner, The Transformed Man
Leonard Nimoy, Mr. Spock's Music From Outer Space
Leonard Cohen, Greatest Hits
Motley White Ratt Snake Poison Crue, any album by any '80s hair group
England Dan and John Ford Coley, you pick it
BRIAN COE
Belmont
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Alvin and the Chipmunks, Urban Chipmunk
Rick Springfield, Working Class Dog
'N Sync, No Strings Attached
Garth Brooks, The Hits
Jennifer Lopez, On the 6
Vanilla Ice, To the Extreme
Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet
Pat Boone, In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy
Dave Matthews Band, Before These Crowded Streets
Grease movie soundtrack
BEN TEXARA
Oakland
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Celine Dion, A New Day Has Come
Celine Dion, Celine Dion en Concert
Celine Dion, Chante Plamondon
Celine Dion, Colour of My Love
Celine Dion, Du Soleil au Couer
Celine Dion, Falling Into You
Celine Dion, Let's Talk About Love
Celine Dion, One Heart
Celine Dion, These Are Special Times
Celine Dion, Sing Like Celine Dion Vol. 3 (karaoke)
JIM GREENE
San Francisco
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I totally agree with John and Yoko Unfinished Music, No. 1: Two Virgins. I actually have that on record and it's basically them walking around the house and doing ****... not much else. I think I got it because of the cover .
The last guy really hates Celine Dion but seems to know a lot about her albums hehehe
I can't talk, I hate any techno albums... or trance, house, whatever you want to call it... not only is it the easiest music to make, but it's just boring and gives me a headache... well, just my opinion, but I'd just hate any of that stuff, even before poor old John and Yoko.
lol. well i am a bit glad to say , that i don't have any of the albums all the people hated above, but i do have to say this that there isn't any artist who only have only good songs to his/her name, is there???
every good singer do sometime give is a stinker once in a while,
maybe most people wont like the example i will give here, but hey its the most natural one, MICHAEL JACKSON, , what happend to him, i am not talking about his behaviour and appearances, i am talking about his songs,they were [i do mean WERE].....
the point is that tell me one group /artist who have only good songs to his/her name???
not making sense?? most people would get what i mean,
well no worries,
If you think about today's music, then yes, no-one has really had every song be a good song, but if you look back to the 60's maybe 70's & 80's, there a lot more bands/ singers that have a lot of good songs.
How about when the shaq, or however you spell his freakin name started to rap That was funny as hell...He's so in love with himself, He's not even that good at basketball.
1. We Built This City – Starship (1985)
2. Achy Breaky Heart – Billy Ray Cyrus (1992)
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight – Wang Chung (1986)
4. Rollin’ – Limp Bizkit (2000)
5. Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice (1990)
6. Heart of Rock n Rill – Huey Lewis and the News (1984)
7. Don’t Worry Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin (1988)
8. Party All the Time – Eddie Murphy (1985)
9. American Life – Madonna (2003)
10. Ebony and Ivory – Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder (1982)
11. Invisible – Clay Aitkin
Also included in the list:
I’m too Sexy - Right Said Fred
Barbie Girl – Aqua
Macarena
Agadoo
Ob La Di Ob La Da – Beatles
Shiny Happy People – REM
Sound of Silence – Simon and Garfunkel
I don't knwo how Sound of Silence ended up in that list. And I quite like Shiny Happy People too, it is real up-beat and does make you happier in a crazy kind of way.
NEW YORK - Starship may have built this city on rock and roll, but Blender magazine is tearing it down, naming the band's "We Built This City" as the worst song ever.
Some tunes on the "50 Worst Songs Ever!" list were selected for their melodies, others "are wretchedly performed" and "quite a few don't make sense whatsoever," the magazine said.
The list, which appears in the May issue, includes songs by New Kids on the Block, Meat Loaf, The Doors, Lionel Richie, Hammer and The Beach Boys, among others.
Blender describes 1985's "We Built This City" as "the truly horrible sound of a band taking the corporate dollar while sneering at those who take the corporate dollar."
Starship lead singer Grace Slick says, "This is not me," when the magazine reminds her of the tune. "Now you're an actor. It's the same as Meryl Streep playing Joan of Arc."
Rounding out the top 10: "Achy Breaky Heart," Billy Ray Cyrus, "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" Wang Chung; "Rollin'," Limp Bizkit; "Ice Ice Baby," Vanilla Ice; "The Heart of Rock & Roll," Huey Lewis and the News; "Don't Worry Be Happy," Bobby McFerrin, "Party All the Time," Eddie Murphy; "American Life," Madonna; and "Ebony and Ivory," Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder.
Other songs on the list: Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue" (No. 22); Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All" (No. 30); Ricky Martin (news)'s "She Bangs" (No. 39); Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" (No. 41); Simon & Garfunkel's "The Sounds of Silence" (No. 42); The Beatles' "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" (No. 48); and Celine Dion (news)'s "My Heart Will Go On" (No. 50).
Blender and VH1's TV special "50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs ... Ever" airs May 12.
....are they serious? Some of those are classics. Though some of them do suck, I'll admit. I don't think most of them deserve to be in the top 50 worst songs though!
UGH! the ppl at US magazine blender r either deaf, insane, incredibly jealous, or just freakin IDIOTIC to list Invisible! What the *&&^^ r they thinking? Same question goes for anyone else who hates Clay Aiken? I don't see what's wrong with sumone as charitable, hard-working, loyal and loving, and talented as Clay Aiken?!?!??!! Am I just dumb to think that those r qualities to like??
That video was more interesting than some that are out there, at least it had a plot (sort of) and wasn't just one of those bling-bling videos with girls prancing around and boys bopping to a beat.
But yeah, the song does deserve to be on the worst song list.
So Simon and Garfunkel, one of the greatest Harmony duos ever, with 'the sounds of silence', one of the greatest harmony songs ever, is in there but 'What the matter you' by Joe Demagio isn't?
schmiggens said this in post #21 : That video was more interesting than some that are out there, at least it had a plot (sort of) and wasn't just one of those bling-bling videos with girls prancing around and boys bopping to a beat.
But yeah, the song does deserve to be on the worst song list.
to say that wang chung's album is in the top worst , i guess means that simple minds and mr mister(and liken groups)also sucked...wang chung's sound was definitely equateable to the other groups i mentioned here. i kind of wonder if these LP'S were at least partially chosen to be in the "worst" lot because of their 'pop' sound(as opposed maybe to groups like def leppard,kiss,van halen and groups like that,that were of a harder musical format)...bias? partiality?
HotSpot17 said this in post #11 : How about when the shaq, or however you spell his freakin name started to rap That was funny as hell...He's so in love with himself, He's not even that good at basketball.
I FULLY AGREE WITH U WHEN MY TEACHER PLAYED DAT IN CLASS ER BODY WAS CRACKIN UP IT WAS HORRIBLE
schmiggens said this in post #13 : US Magazine “Blender” Worst Songs Ever
1. We Built This City – Starship (1985)
2. Achy Breaky Heart – Billy Ray Cyrus (1992)
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight – Wang Chung (1986)
4. Rollin’ – Limp Bizkit (2000)
5. Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice (1990)
6. Heart of Rock n Rill – Huey Lewis and the News (1984)
7. Don’t Worry Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin (1988)
8. Party All the Time – Eddie Murphy (1985)
9. American Life – Madonna (2003)
10. Ebony and Ivory – Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder (1982)
11. Invisible – Clay Aitkin
well, its spelled "Aiken".... but Clay wasn't even the first one to sing that song. A band in Europe called D-Side released it before Clay did. I guess because Clay's version was much more popular, he gets the credit for it...
i HATE d-side
just another british-boy-band-one-hit-wonder
they only made a couple o' songs
they're the kind of group that 7 year old girls love and then forget about after a couple of weeks
i didnt even know there was such thing as D-Side until Clay Aiken came out with that song and his fans said D-side released that song before....
wouldn't that mean that D-side's version of invisible is worse than clays... if no one even knows about it.... but they dont name unknown songs as the worst ones ever. they pick well known ones just to get people mad
they had good voices n they came from my home town so i often c em walkin down my street n stuff
ive neva even herd of clay aiken
he aint got NE released videos hurr
All boy bands are all the same: blue, westlife, nsync, backstreet boys, o-town, human nature, blah blah blah. Can't tell the difference between any of them.
blue have their own style but they're a bit 2.....clean
westlife r gay
nsync n backstreet boyz were rele similar but backstreet had more ballad-ish songs n nsync didnt...i guess......
o-town.....only lasted a month but VERY similar 2 backstreet n nsync
yeah backstreet boys and nsync really lasted a long time and had good fanbases. they were good for thier time, but it doesnt seem that a real boy band could make it today.
ok i HATE beanie mans 'dude' or whatever its called
i've only heard it once but that was once too many
it plays the music on the same chord throughout the entire song and they girls voice sounds loike its droaning on
beanie man could've done a lot better
clayoholic87 said this in post #19 : UGH! the ppl at US magazine blender r either deaf, insane, incredibly jealous, or just freakin IDIOTIC to list Invisible! What the *&&^^ r they thinking? Same question goes for anyone else who hates Clay Aiken? I don't see what's wrong with sumone as charitable, hard-working, loyal and loving, and talented as Clay Aiken?!?!??!! Am I just dumb to think that those r qualities to like??
someone needs to stop obsessing over clay aiken, probably because they've never met him. sure, he has an ok voice, but name three songs he sings that aren't about love.
why does everyone love clay aiken so much?
i live in the uk so american idol wasnt that widely viewed
isnt he meant to be gay AND ugly?
so why are girls drooling over him?
but from what i heard from everyone was that he was really camp....
well there was a guy like that in the uk version
1 WAS gay but didnt say until he won and he was alrite lukin n had a gr8 voice
n there was this otha 1 hu was shy and had this problem when he cudnt speak infront of ppl so he had to stop and breath for a minute...all the girls were like...aaaaaw
but when he sang he wasnt nervous @ all
the gay 1 won in the end
well i almost pressed edit after i posted that, i knew you'd say "how can you say he's nice, you've never met him?''...he just seems like a good guy. he made a foundation for kids with disablities and stuff... theres more but i dont feel like listing all the good things.
but dont celebrities do that stuff for popularity?
im not like saying that hes NOT a nice guy but what if saddam hussain had openned a foundation for kidz with disabilities?
sugarspice i wasnt saying that your fave band is <removed> i was just saying that if i was to say that they were you'd be upset/outraged
other people mighte feel that exact way
your opinion is your opinion....my point exactly
and clayfan can have her own opinion....ake tea not war people eace:
I dont see how anyone can say any Beatles song is bad...they were creators not like most people in popular music today who just dance and lip sing. Thank god for bands like The Beatles and Led Zeppelin.
I totally agree with John and Yoko Unfinished Music, No. 1: Two Virgins. I actually have that on record and it's basically them walking around the house and doing ****... not much else. I think I got it because of the cover 
.
but seems to know a lot about her albums 
well, just my opinion, but I'd just hate any of that stuff, even before poor old John and Yoko.
<- him
!
eace: